Dating profiles

Chris has created a number of profiles for dating websites over the years. Like everything else Chris does, these endeavors are usually made of pure fail.

OKCupid

Screencap of Chris's OKCupid profile

OKCupid is one of the more popular dating websites, and matches people based on how they respond to questions that they may answer at their leisure. Unlike sites such as Match.com, OKCupid allows users to message and search each other for free, only charging for perks like ad removal and unlimited inbox space. The ability to stalk thousands of internet girls without paying a dime must have been a very attractive prospect for Chris.

Chris created the site in Late February 2009, and his final login was in early March. It's likely he quit using it after girls failed to flood his inbox with offers for true honest love. In the usual Chris style, the profile is woefully incomplete, featuring only a very brief personal summary, and a looking for box, in which he checked every option, including casual sex.

Profile Text

I am Autistic, Fun, and Creative.

My Self-Summary

I'm young at heart. I'm currently writing a comic book, and I've written quite a few issues so far. I am a bit shy, but I would enjoy the company of a beautiful girl who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I can, and I don't really like to be alone.

I graduated from high school on the Honor Roll, and I am doing very well at PVCC. A lot of men make false promises to their girlfriends, but I am totally different. When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, respect, empathy, and love. I think that (most) girls deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I haven't had the best of luck with girlfriends in my past. There was a lot of lying and backstabbing done to me, and I'm looking for someone who is honest and will love me for me. Who I'd like to meet: Someone with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, very pretty, 18-23-years old, lives in, or around, the Charlottesville or Ruckersville (both in the state of Virginia) areas, smoke-free, non-alcholoic, white and does not already have a Boyfriend.

Looking for: New friends, Long-term dating, Short-term dating, Activity partners, Long-distance penpals, Casual sex

Book of Matches

Screenshot of Chris's BoM page.

It's unclear when Chris made this profile, but given his stated age, it probably was made around late 2008-early 2009. While The staples of half-assery are still present, it's clear Chris spent more time on this page then he did his OKCupid profile. Many of the statements here are just repetitions of the Chris-Chan facts we all know and love: Daughter Crystal, McDonalds as a first date ect. Chris also seems to believe that citing Marry Poppins as the greatest movie ever will somehow have a positive effect on the ladies.

Profile Text

If you like me, find me In Person, and let me know.

• Charlottesville, Virginia
• Response Rate: 0%
• Above average
• Sensually hot
• Pisces
• Caucasian
• M
• 26 years of age
• 5'9 - 5'10
• Single
• Artsy Gamer
• Here For Long Term Relationship

Things that have bothered me:
When they are false friends; when they would just dump me after one mistake, or something as dumb.
I am looking for:
In a nutshell, 18-years to my current age, Caring, Smoke-Free, Non-Alcholic, white and Boyfriend-Free.
Cool Movies:
Of all time, Mary Poppins.
My Favorite Groups are:
All kinds; classic, jazz, country, pop, rock, etc.
I am looking for a personality like:
I'm not certain, but as long as the woman likes me for me, and will stay by and care about me, all things considered, I'll feel better. I feel that I am a good listener, and I can make her laugh and/or feel good (but then again, it depends on her point of view).
Willingness to meet others from boM:
I am willing to meet WOMEN from this service, as long as they live within the Ruckersville or Charlottesville, VA area, and if they currently do not have (or preferably never had) a Boyfriend.
Are you ready to start from scratch?
I WANT to start a relationship from the Ground-Up. I may have a few things already put behind me, but I will make it a point to keep those issues out of the way of current or future issues. I am to be continued.
My typical day:
Personally, I have never been on a date before in my life. But for my first date, I'd keep it simple with a beverage (or shared meal) at
McDonalds, or similar resteraunt.
My Wish List Includes:
I dream of getting married, and having a daughter named Crystal.

The Hook Cafe

See the main The Hook Cafe page.