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I'll just ramble here.


Oh, and I'm the guy whose letter caused Chris to describe the mildest nightmare ever.
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I'm the guy whose letter caused Chris to describe the mildest nightmare ever.


I mean, seriously, how can Chris consider a nightmare where OTHER PEOPLE are suffering to be terrible?
I mean, seriously, how can Chris consider a nightmare where OTHER PEOPLE are suffering to be terrible?


I had a dream about Chris last night.
I had a dream about Chris once.


He stuck his hand (the one with the High School Ring on it) in front of the camera, and then dumped a bunch of pills into it.
He stuck his hand (the one with the High School Ring on it) in front of the camera, and then dumped a bunch of pills into it.
Line 15: Line 22:
I wonder if Chris really roars on the rare occasion he actually uses the goddamn toilet?
I wonder if Chris really roars on the rare occasion he actually uses the goddamn toilet?


== Theories ==
==YT Login==
 
I'm going to keep track of the times Chris logs in to Youtube.  All times are EST, the timezone Chris resides in.
 
11:00 PM, Friday June 4.
 
Roughly 9:38 PM, Saturday June 5.
 
Roughly 4:38 AM, Sunday June 6.
 
10:38 PM, Sunday June 6.
 
3:00 AM, Monday June 7.(Biological clock lolol)
 
6:21 PM, Monday June 7.
 
Roughly 8:33 PM, Monday June 7.
 
Roughly 1:00 AM, Tuesday June 8.
 
Around 7:00 AM, Wednesday June 9.(He may or may not have been up all night here)
 
Around 7:00 PM, Wednesday June 9.
 
10:47 PM, Thursday June 10.
 
Week One Complete:
 
It looks like I'm right so far--if Chris meets Rocky every Thursday and only goes to church when he feels like it, this makes sense.  He likely meets her around noonish--explaining his login time--and the reason he hasn't been on since Thursday is likely because Rocky was really pissed at him for making a video on Sunday or trying to run down Michael Snyder last Friday.  I think we'll be seeing Chris in another week or two, after the heat dies down (providing he doesn't do something stupid again).  Don't panic.
 
10:37 PM, Monday June 14.(It's starting to look like Chris makes his e-sweeps in the evenings, after whatever it is he does during the day.  Would explain why he always complained of how tired he was when he was stressed.)
 
Around 7:30 PM, Tuesday June 15.
 
Around 2:30 PM, Wednesday June 16.
 
Around 9:30 PM, Thursday June 17.
 
Around 7:36 AM, Saturday June 19.
 
Week Two Complete:
 
He was inactive for most of the week.  Also, ever since he started going to FAF he hasn't logged in on a Friday.  Come to think of it, I belive he's trying to be sneaky with the flipnotes--Rocky may be watching his YT for any uploads, but she doesn't know about Flipnote and so he can post to his clogged heart's content.  He's openly defying Rocky.
 
Around 3:00 AM, Monday June 21.
 
Around 10:20 PM, Wednesday June 24.
 
12:20 AM, Friday June 26.
 
7:00 AM, Friday June 26.
 
9:00 AM, Saturday June 27.
 
Week Three complete:
 
I got the dates mixed up there.
 
11:00 AM, Monday June 28.
 
Week Four complete:
 
Chris was fairly silent, likely due to his Flipnote activity.
 
3:23 AM, Saturday July 3.
 
Week Five complete, Chris was not active:
 
3:30 PM, Wednesday July 14.
 
6:36 PM, Wednesday July 14.
 
6:00 PM, Thursday July 15.
 
Week Six Complete
 
10:13 AM, Friday July 16.
 
6:00 PM, Saturday July 17.
 
12:12 PM, Sunday July 18.
 
10:00 PM, Sunday July 18.
 
10:23 AM, Tuesday July 20.
 
1:42 PM, Wednesday July 21.
 
12:50 PM, Thursday July 22.
 
Week Seven complete
 
8:08 PM, Saturday July 24.
 
5:33 PM, Monday July 26.
 
11:48 PM, Thursday July 29.
 
Week Eight complete
 
6:18 AM, Saturday July 31.
 
11:18 PM, Saturday July 31.
 
9:02 AM, Sunday August 1.
 
6:25 AM, Monday August 2.
 
12:45 AM, Tuesday August 3.
 
2:31 PM, Tuesday August 3.
 
12:42 PM, Thursday August 5.
 
Week Nine complete.


"Behold the power of the well-trusted dog!"
1:30 PM, Monday August 9.


Hmmm.  This is more than a line stolen from Excel Saga.  I'm going to use it as evidence to support my theory that Chris "trusted" Patti with his deepest angst after school.
7:00 PM, Monday August 9.


Week Ten Complete


"I was shocked at first sight of it, but I calmed down after a while. It's the same, more or less, when I watch a horror movie and see those parts, but at least I have the knowledge that it's all Hollywood Magic."
1:00 PM, Sunday August 15.


What does he mean by this?  Does he mean that Asperchu just features his characters in a movie, or is he claiming that he's disturbed by the fact that half the Combo just got slaughtered by Metal Asperchu?
11:48 PM, Tuesday August 17.


I think I've stumbled onto why Chris is able to watch Saw but can't play Brutal Legend without turning on the censor and disabling the blood.
7:13 PM, Wednesday August 18.


I've heard of people who freaked out the first time they died in Sonic or Mario or whatever.  The reason?  They thought that they'd actually killed their character.  The Transformers movie, where Optimus died, came out when Chris was five.  This is the age we all run into this issue, and Chris was no different.  In his case, he screamed and locked himself in the closet because he thought Optimus was really dead forever and he'd never be on TV again.  Chris probably recovered because Optimus has died three more times since then, but not in the right way.
Week Eleven Complete


For us, we learned how to tell fiction from reality.  For Chris, he began to hope that the character could be brought back to life--by begging the creators of the series to let them "come back".
6:22 PM, Thursday August 19.


Now, when Chris writes Sonichu, he tries to remove everything he hates about normal fiction.  And since he thinks we all share the same opinion as he does, he doesn't do anything to change it.  He dumps spoilers left and right because he hates thinking that there is a possibility that the hero might actually go the way of Optimus.
10:06 PM, Thursday August 19.


He won't kill off Simonla because, well, aside from her being validation of Wild's heterosexuality, he thinks Wild is a real person.  This is why Asperchu hurts him--someone draws his characters doing something, and he thinks that they're actually doing it.
9:48 AM, Friday August 20.


I'll get back to this later.
9:00 PM, Friday August 20.


== Characters as Mary Sues ==
9:17 AM, Saturday August 21.


Sonichu isn't Chris's only Mary Sue.
4:20 PM, Saturday August 21.


Wild and Magi-chan fall into this category as well.
9:37 PM, Sunday August 22.


Sonichu, as we all know, is who Chris desires to be. Rosechu is who he wants to be his sweetheart.  One of their daughters is obviously Crystal(Which one it is, I don't know).
4:10 PM, Sunday August 22. (Jesus Christ he's on a roll here)


Wild represents Chris's desire to be appreciated by his parents.  Look at his backstory--he was raised by a female creature that weighs on average 220 pounds and a terrifying male bug monster with swords for arms.
6:05 PM, Sunday August 22.


His father is instantly disappointed when Wild is unable to perform attacks perfectly literally five seconds after he hatches.  Wild cries like a bitch and runs to his mother.  This tells me that Chris thinks Bob should expect less of him.
12:25 AM, Monday August 23.


Eventually, ScytherBob is abducted, leaving Wild to be raised exclusively by Mama Venusaurlax.  This makes me suspect that Chris thinks his life would be better if Bob didn't give him all of da stress.
2:22 PM, Monday August 23.


However, Wild does something Chris doesn't.  He's going to reconcile with his father, likely by performing the same attacks he was unable to perform properly at the start.  This makes me think that if he makes Sonichu successful, Bob will respect him.
6:14 PM, Monday August 23.


As for Magi-chan, Chris has always had a desire to have total control over everything.  He frequently exclaims that he is not a mind-reader, something many with autism spectrum disorders wish they had so they could know exactly what someone means by something.  He's lazy, and so he desires the ability to teleport.  And most of all, Magi-chan can see the future.  Chris hates suspense, as evidenced by his rampant carpet spoiler bombing.  He'd probably also desire knowledge of exactly when he'll find his sweetheart.
6:22 PM, Tuesday August 24.

Latest revision as of 09:12, 5 August 2020


Mary Lee Walsh Former Jerkop
Like Mary Lee Walsh, this CWCki Jerkop is now retired and deserving of our gratitude. Please contact an active moderator instead.
Mumble Service Medal March Mumble Madness
This user nearly went mad in March 2010 to provide CWCki with accurate and complete transcriptions of the Mumble chats.
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I'm the guy whose letter caused Chris to describe the mildest nightmare ever.

I mean, seriously, how can Chris consider a nightmare where OTHER PEOPLE are suffering to be terrible?

I had a dream about Chris once.

He stuck his hand (the one with the High School Ring on it) in front of the camera, and then dumped a bunch of pills into it.

Then the hand moved out of the scene and came back empty. I assume he was trying to kill himself on the internet.

That was odd.

I wonder if Chris really roars on the rare occasion he actually uses the goddamn toilet?

YT Login

I'm going to keep track of the times Chris logs in to Youtube. All times are EST, the timezone Chris resides in.

11:00 PM, Friday June 4.

Roughly 9:38 PM, Saturday June 5.

Roughly 4:38 AM, Sunday June 6.

10:38 PM, Sunday June 6.

3:00 AM, Monday June 7.(Biological clock lolol)

6:21 PM, Monday June 7.

Roughly 8:33 PM, Monday June 7.

Roughly 1:00 AM, Tuesday June 8.

Around 7:00 AM, Wednesday June 9.(He may or may not have been up all night here)

Around 7:00 PM, Wednesday June 9.

10:47 PM, Thursday June 10.

Week One Complete:

It looks like I'm right so far--if Chris meets Rocky every Thursday and only goes to church when he feels like it, this makes sense. He likely meets her around noonish--explaining his login time--and the reason he hasn't been on since Thursday is likely because Rocky was really pissed at him for making a video on Sunday or trying to run down Michael Snyder last Friday. I think we'll be seeing Chris in another week or two, after the heat dies down (providing he doesn't do something stupid again). Don't panic.

10:37 PM, Monday June 14.(It's starting to look like Chris makes his e-sweeps in the evenings, after whatever it is he does during the day. Would explain why he always complained of how tired he was when he was stressed.)

Around 7:30 PM, Tuesday June 15.

Around 2:30 PM, Wednesday June 16.

Around 9:30 PM, Thursday June 17.

Around 7:36 AM, Saturday June 19.

Week Two Complete:

He was inactive for most of the week. Also, ever since he started going to FAF he hasn't logged in on a Friday. Come to think of it, I belive he's trying to be sneaky with the flipnotes--Rocky may be watching his YT for any uploads, but she doesn't know about Flipnote and so he can post to his clogged heart's content. He's openly defying Rocky.

Around 3:00 AM, Monday June 21.

Around 10:20 PM, Wednesday June 24.

12:20 AM, Friday June 26.

7:00 AM, Friday June 26.

9:00 AM, Saturday June 27.

Week Three complete:

I got the dates mixed up there.

11:00 AM, Monday June 28.

Week Four complete:

Chris was fairly silent, likely due to his Flipnote activity.

3:23 AM, Saturday July 3.

Week Five complete, Chris was not active:

3:30 PM, Wednesday July 14.

6:36 PM, Wednesday July 14.

6:00 PM, Thursday July 15.

Week Six Complete

10:13 AM, Friday July 16.

6:00 PM, Saturday July 17.

12:12 PM, Sunday July 18.

10:00 PM, Sunday July 18.

10:23 AM, Tuesday July 20.

1:42 PM, Wednesday July 21.

12:50 PM, Thursday July 22.

Week Seven complete

8:08 PM, Saturday July 24.

5:33 PM, Monday July 26.

11:48 PM, Thursday July 29.

Week Eight complete

6:18 AM, Saturday July 31.

11:18 PM, Saturday July 31.

9:02 AM, Sunday August 1.

6:25 AM, Monday August 2.

12:45 AM, Tuesday August 3.

2:31 PM, Tuesday August 3.

12:42 PM, Thursday August 5.

Week Nine complete.

1:30 PM, Monday August 9.

7:00 PM, Monday August 9.

Week Ten Complete

1:00 PM, Sunday August 15.

11:48 PM, Tuesday August 17.

7:13 PM, Wednesday August 18.

Week Eleven Complete

6:22 PM, Thursday August 19.

10:06 PM, Thursday August 19.

9:48 AM, Friday August 20.

9:00 PM, Friday August 20.

9:17 AM, Saturday August 21.

4:20 PM, Saturday August 21.

9:37 PM, Sunday August 22.

4:10 PM, Sunday August 22. (Jesus Christ he's on a roll here)

6:05 PM, Sunday August 22.

12:25 AM, Monday August 23.

2:22 PM, Monday August 23.

6:14 PM, Monday August 23.

6:22 PM, Tuesday August 24.

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