Difference between revisions of "Template:Article of the now"

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(Eh, this can still be the Now)
(Three Years)
 
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[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Chris's profile image, or what Ash Ketchum would look like if he had grown up to be a fat and [[homos|deeply closeted]] manchild.]]
[[File:Chris's Twitter profile picture Second Coming.jpg|250px|right]]


The local alternative weekly paper in [[Charlottesville]] is ''The Hook'', and its online personal-ads site is called '''The Hook Cafe'''. Some time in early [[2010]], Chris posted a personal ad at the Cafe under the nickname "[[Chris and sex|direct2sex]]," declaring that he "Need [[China|Sexy Sweets]] from Woman." As far as anyone can tell, no sexy sweets have been forthcoming.
'''Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime Resurrected and Returned''' (original file name "(On the Road to) The City of Cwcville song") is a video uploaded to Chris's YouTube channel on 16 [[October 2023]]. It is notable for being Chris's first upload for more than two years, and the first of the [[Second Coming]]. In the video's description, Chris links to [[Praetor]]'s online shop [[OfficialCWCmart]], indicating he is still in business with the group. It is likely that Praetor influenced this video, seen in the green screen and editing seen in previous Praetor projects.


The ad is one of the most blatant confirmations that Chris is no longer interested in "true love" and is now simply looking to get laid.  This is not totally unexpected, as most of his followers have always believed that true honest love was merely a ruse to get sex, and that if Chris could get to the the [[hanky-panky]] without having to actually care about someone, he would do so in a heartbeat. Before the discovery of this profile, the clearest evidence of this was [[Mailbag 53#So much for true love|one of Chris's mailbag responses]].
The video is about 9 minutes long and consists of Chris singing two parodies of songs from the ''[[Pokémon]] 2.B.A. Master'' album in front of a green screen; the first is a spoof of "Double Trouble" loaded with slurred, [[Random-access humor|almost nonsensical]] lyrics, while the second is a parody of "Viridian City" that's now centered around going to [[CWCville]]. Interspersed are brief messages to his viewers in what seems to be an incredibly loose talk show/podcast format. Clips of Chris dancing are overlaid on top of the video throughout. Overall, unlike [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown#Chris's Version: "Master Onion A-La Mode"|his previous attempts]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|at making music videos]], the production quality is a lot higher, which suggests that other people could have been involved in the video's creation (though in the description, Chris insists that he edited the video himself.)


Of note are the differences between this and his previous dating profiles. Chris is apparently making an attempt at being a grown up, and as a result he neglects to mention [[Sonichu]], his [[autism]] or the fact he's a twenty eight year old [[virgin with rage|virgin]]. He also has started to specify a desire for women 21 years or older (but not older than himself, despite his pretty obvious desire for a mother-like figure in his potential mate). In the past he had been open to the idea of dating an 18 year old, despite the vast age difference, and really only stopped at that age for legal reasons.
('''[[Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime Resurrected and Returned|More...]]''')
 
This is not the first time Chris has posted a personal ad on the Hook Cafe. An earlier attempt, where Chris promoted himself as a "Handsome Virgin searching for Woman," fell victim to hackers around the beginning of 2009. Unfortunately, most of its original contents weren't preserved before the trolls gave it a makeover. It's the hacked version that's referred to in Chris's [[IRC_(20_January_2009)|20 January 2009 IRC chat]].
 
('''[[The Hook Cafe|more...]]''')
 
<noinclude>[[Category: Front page templates]] [[Category: Pages that have been edited by Chris]]</noinclude>

Latest revision as of 14:06, 16 October 2026

Chris's Twitter profile picture Second Coming.jpg

Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime Resurrected and Returned (original file name "(On the Road to) The City of Cwcville song") is a video uploaded to Chris's YouTube channel on 16 October 2023. It is notable for being Chris's first upload for more than two years, and the first of the Second Coming. In the video's description, Chris links to Praetor's online shop OfficialCWCmart, indicating he is still in business with the group. It is likely that Praetor influenced this video, seen in the green screen and editing seen in previous Praetor projects.

The video is about 9 minutes long and consists of Chris singing two parodies of songs from the Pokémon 2.B.A. Master album in front of a green screen; the first is a spoof of "Double Trouble" loaded with slurred, almost nonsensical lyrics, while the second is a parody of "Viridian City" that's now centered around going to CWCville. Interspersed are brief messages to his viewers in what seems to be an incredibly loose talk show/podcast format. Clips of Chris dancing are overlaid on top of the video throughout. Overall, unlike his previous attempts at making music videos, the production quality is a lot higher, which suggests that other people could have been involved in the video's creation (though in the description, Chris insists that he edited the video himself.)

(More...)

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