Difference between revisions of "The Hook Cafe"

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[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Chris's profile image, which partially revives his old Ash Ketchum look.]]
[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Chris's profile image, which partially revives his old Ash Ketchum look.]]
[[Image:direct2sex.jpg|thumb|A screenshot of the ad, as of 5 April 2010.]]
[[Image:direct2sex.jpg|thumb|A screenshot of the ad, as of 5 April 2010.]]
The local free weekly paper in [[Charlottesville]] is ''The Hook'', and its online personal ads are called '''The Hook Cafe'''. Some time in early 2010, Chris posted a personal ad at the Cafe under the nickname "direct2sex," declaring that he "Need Sexy Sweets from Woman."
The local free weekly paper in [[Charlottesville]] is ''The Hook'', and its online personal-ads site is called '''The Hook Cafe'''. Some time in early 2010, Chris posted a personal ad at the Cafe under the nickname "direct2sex," declaring that he "Need Sexy Sweets from Woman."


As far as anyone can tell, no sexy sweets have been forthcoming.
As far as anyone can tell, no sexy sweets have been forthcoming.
Line 15: Line 15:
Chris bills himself as a single man, seeking a woman for "Friends with benefits, Some Action, Casual Dating." Under "Body Type," he describes himself as "Average, Muscular, Height / Weight proportionate," which most observers would consider [[Obesity|optimistic]] at the very least. He also makes a point of describing his [[Heterochromia|heterochromatic eyes]].
Chris bills himself as a single man, seeking a woman for "Friends with benefits, Some Action, Casual Dating." Under "Body Type," he describes himself as "Average, Muscular, Height / Weight proportionate," which most observers would consider [[Obesity|optimistic]] at the very least. He also makes a point of describing his [[Heterochromia|heterochromatic eyes]].


==The details==
==The ad in detail==
In a section made up of snappy responses to vapid questions, Chris offers a few more revealing remarks.
The following is all the information included in the ad, in addition to the above-mentioned introduction, as of 5 April 2010.
===Characteristics===
Gender: '''Man'''<BR>
Current Status: '''Single'''<BR>
Looking for: '''Friends with benefits, Some Action, Casual Dating'''<BR>
Body Type: '''Average, Muscular, Height / Weight proportionate'''<BR>
Eyes: '''L=Blue, R=Green'''<BR>
Height: '''5' 10"'''<BR>
Hair Type: '''Brown'''<BR>
Age: '''28'''<BR>
Seeks: '''Woman for Dating, Woman for Friendship'''


*Asked to "design his ideal mate," Chris says she would have "the brain of a '''college graduate''' and the body of a '''Playboy Womam'''."
===Profile===
*Says Chris: "The quickest way to my heart is '''sweet compassion''' The quickest way to my bed is '''honest lovin'''' And in the morning, I like my eggs cooked '''fried and well-done'''"
Education: '''College graduate'''<BR>
*His favorite restaurant is still [[Golden Corral]], and he makes a point of announcing his love for [[Sonic the Hedgehog]].
Ethnicity: '''Caucasian'''<BR>
*Chris fills his spare time, so he says, with "Reading, Creating, Playing sports, Clubbing, Working out, Watching movies, Shopping, Dining out, Biking."
Religion: '''None, Christian / Methodist'''<BR>
*Chris's "funniest thing" is "A man chasing a dog. And the dog has a ham in its mouth."
Political Leanings: '''Moderate'''<BR>
*Asked to quote a line from his [[Mary Poppins|favorite movie]], he chose "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious," but didn't quite manage to spell it right.
City: '''Ruckersville'''<BR>
Occupation: '''Artist'''<BR>
Have Children: '''No'''<BR>
Want Children: '''Yes'''


===Habits===
Smoking: '''Never'''<BR>
Drinking: '''Socially'''<BR>
Drugs: '''Not interested'''
===Personality===
I get around town via: '''Car, Walk'''<BR>
My dietary preferences are: '''Conscious Omnivore'''<BR>
I spend my free time: '''Reading, Creating, Playing sports, Clubbing, Working out, Watching movies, Shopping, Dining out, Biking'''<BR>
Funniest Thing: '''A man chasing a dog. And the dog has a ham in its mouth'''
===Deeper===
The best thing about Charlottesville is: '''The vast history behind it.'''
My radio dial is usually tuned to? '''Z-95.1'''
Quote a line from your favorite movie. '''Supercalifragilisticespialadocious'''
Thomas Jefferson makes me: '''feel inspired and better enjoy Charlottesville, VA.'''
The first thing I read in the Hook is? '''The Arts.'''
Name three things you shouldn't have eaten. '''Beets, Pickles, Relish.'''
===Fill It===
I'm an open-minded person, but '''smokers''' is a deal-breaker.
Design your ideal mate: the brain of a '''college graduate'''  and the body of a '''Playboy Womam'''
People say '''my face is my best feature.
The first section I turn to in the Hook is '''the Arts'''
The quickest way to my heart is '''sweet compassion''' The quickest way to my bed is '''honest lovin'''' And in the morning, I like my eggs cooked '''fried and well-done'''
My favorite cartoon as a kid was '''Sonic the Hedgehog'''
'''Golden Corral''' is my favorite restaurant.
===In and Out===
'''Best Buy''' or Sidetracks
'''Summer''' or Winter
'''PC''' or Mac
'''Cavaliers''' or Redskins
'''Casket''' or Cremation
Fax or '''Email'''
Dyed or '''Natural'''
SUV or '''Sedan'''
==External links==
==External links==
*[http://charlottesville.selectalternatives.com/gyrobase/Personals/Profile?person=oid%3A250471 Chris's Hook Cafe profile]
*[http://charlottesville.selectalternatives.com/gyrobase/Personals/Profile?person=oid%3A250471 Chris's Hook Cafe profile]


[[Category:Websites]]
[[Category:Websites]]

Revision as of 18:07, 5 April 2010

Chris's profile image, which partially revives his old Ash Ketchum look.
A screenshot of the ad, as of 5 April 2010.

The local free weekly paper in Charlottesville is The Hook, and its online personal-ads site is called The Hook Cafe. Some time in early 2010, Chris posted a personal ad at the Cafe under the nickname "direct2sex," declaring that he "Need Sexy Sweets from Woman."

As far as anyone can tell, no sexy sweets have been forthcoming.

The introduction

The basic summary at the top of the ad is as follows:

I am an honest, compassionate gentleman, with a good sense of humor. I am looking for good time(s) with a woman; I'm not getting any younger. I would like a 21-28 year old woman with a pretty face, a sexy slim to average body and an honest and compassionate personality. Show me your honest and sweet interest and love, and I'll show you a good time. Hit me up with an e-mail with your photo and digits, and I will respond quickly in suit. Smokers, overweights, blacks and liars need not apply.

What Chris is looking for in a woman doesn't seem to have changed much since the old days of the Attraction Sign. He doesn't mention that he wants a woman who can financially support him, but he still makes a point of ruling out black women, smokers, and his fellow fatsos.

Chris describes Chris

Chris bills himself as a single man, seeking a woman for "Friends with benefits, Some Action, Casual Dating." Under "Body Type," he describes himself as "Average, Muscular, Height / Weight proportionate," which most observers would consider optimistic at the very least. He also makes a point of describing his heterochromatic eyes.

The ad in detail

The following is all the information included in the ad, in addition to the above-mentioned introduction, as of 5 April 2010.

Characteristics

Gender: Man
Current Status: Single
Looking for: Friends with benefits, Some Action, Casual Dating
Body Type: Average, Muscular, Height / Weight proportionate
Eyes: L=Blue, R=Green
Height: 5' 10"
Hair Type: Brown
Age: 28
Seeks: Woman for Dating, Woman for Friendship

Profile

Education: College graduate
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Religion: None, Christian / Methodist
Political Leanings: Moderate
City: Ruckersville
Occupation: Artist
Have Children: No
Want Children: Yes

Habits

Smoking: Never
Drinking: Socially
Drugs: Not interested

Personality

I get around town via: Car, Walk
My dietary preferences are: Conscious Omnivore
I spend my free time: Reading, Creating, Playing sports, Clubbing, Working out, Watching movies, Shopping, Dining out, Biking
Funniest Thing: A man chasing a dog. And the dog has a ham in its mouth

Deeper

The best thing about Charlottesville is: The vast history behind it.

My radio dial is usually tuned to? Z-95.1

Quote a line from your favorite movie. Supercalifragilisticespialadocious

Thomas Jefferson makes me: feel inspired and better enjoy Charlottesville, VA.

The first thing I read in the Hook is? The Arts.

Name three things you shouldn't have eaten. Beets, Pickles, Relish.

Fill It

I'm an open-minded person, but smokers is a deal-breaker.

Design your ideal mate: the brain of a college graduate and the body of a Playboy Womam

People say my face is my best feature.

The first section I turn to in the Hook is the Arts

The quickest way to my heart is sweet compassion The quickest way to my bed is honest lovin' And in the morning, I like my eggs cooked fried and well-done

My favorite cartoon as a kid was Sonic the Hedgehog

Golden Corral is my favorite restaurant.

In and Out

Best Buy or Sidetracks

Summer or Winter

PC or Mac

Cavaliers or Redskins

Casket or Cremation

Fax or Email

Dyed or Natural

SUV or Sedan

External links

Retrieved from "http://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=The_Hook_Cafe&oldid=80342"