Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008

By October 13, 2008, Christian has somehow obtained a beta release of LittleBigPlanet, and is now obsessed with the game and with publishing Sonichu-related levels to increase exposure of his character. In this video he has three main points:

1. Buy LittleBigPlanet and be on the lookout for Sonichu levels. Also, Chris owns a shit-ton of Sony products
2. Jimmy Hill has flagrantly plagiarized from Christian's Sonichu work. Chris notes how Jimmy Hill's Sonichu merchandise is just Sonic merchandise painted yellow (irony!), and generally fails to notice Hill's work is at least as much of a legally-protected parody as his own. At one point Christian observes that Jimmy's ripoff of the Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) DVD packaging is not derivative enough of the source material.
3. Internet bullies should give up because Chris is ignoring them. Christian is in fact ignoring his critics so much that he had to announce to the entire world on an internet video that he is ignoring them.

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Transcript

Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008.

It is time for another update of importance. Or should I say of three importances?

First off, the, uh, LittleBigPlanet y'all have heard about. I have, I have a b--I have the beta, and I have completed the level in only [holds up two fingers] two nights, and I got it published onto the, uh, LittleBigPlanet database on the internet. But unfortunately I was--as I was about to, uh, record the video for--to a DVD-R, apparently my beta had expired, which was kind of bad luck, so I guess I'll just have to wait a week before I can introduce the level fully, on a v--on--in a vi--in video form, on the YouTube. When the v--when the game--when the official game comes out next week. [reaches up to hold his copy of LittleBigPlanet, which is dangling from the ceiling by a string] LittleBigPlanet, only on PlayStation 3! Never accept any imitiation, even downloadable to the Hex Bawx.

[Releases the game package and bends down to rummage for papers] Now, the, uh, second thing I would like to bring up at this moment...[stands up with papers in hand, and attempts an English accent]...Master Jimmy Hill! [returns to normal accent] Master Jimmy Hill. As y'all may know about him, he has perpetrated, uh, my--he has perpetrated the, uh, rights of, the rights of Sonichu for myself--as y'all well know, for the longest time now, that I am the original owner and creator of Sonichu. And Rosechu. Now this--now this impostor is blatantly copying everything note for--note for note from me.

And it all started, from my point of view, upon my knowwedge [holds up printout of the Sonichu action figure ad] the magazine advert for his so-called action figure. I mean you take a--take a good look at that--take a look at that. 'Cause all that is [holds up Sonic action figure], is just this Sonic the Hedgehog action figure, custom-painted! I could easily custom paint this to look like that. With acrylic paint, even! So simple! And so crappy, too.

The, uh, next thing I should talk about, I mean...all right. His website. [holds up printout of sonichu.net logo] Y'all know my--y'all know the Official & Original Sonichu up--site logo I've had on there for the longest time. But that--you compare that [holds up the Jimmy Hill version of the same logo] to his mockery. Can you believe that? It's crappy! Stupid!

And then, [holds up cover of Sonichu #0] look at the original comic cover for my first comic book, [holds up Jimmy Hill version] then look at his mockery! So similar! This guy can't even be original and yet he parodied himself on Monty Python's Flying Circus!

And now for something compenty different! [holds up his homemade DVD] The DVD--you all see--I told y'all about--I told y'all about the footage that could--that was probably up on YouTube, between the various things, but this guy, he blatantly...[holds up picture of packages of Jimmy Hill's DVD] copied that as well. And all he did was take every footage that was on--that was orig--that originated from this DVD, and dubbed his voice just to--just over my name. So instead of me saying "Christian Weston Chandler," he j--he j--he just dubs over each time by saying "JIMMUH HIWW!" And even more somethin' cumbredily different, it even says on the bottom here, "The part of Jimmy Hill is played by an actor." An actor! [compares Hill DVD cover with Sonichu #0] And look at the friggin' cover! It's more base on the co--it's more based on my original comic cover than the ori--than the DVD! Anyway, do not buy from Jimmy Hill! He's a fraud, a phony.

[leafs through papers] Is there anything else I wanted to talk about him? Oh yeah, and if y--and if y'all well, may well, may well be aware of, [holds up printout of early Sonichu logos and medallion closeups] these were the first two Sonichu site logos that were originally up there, throughout the evolution of the Sonichu site. [puts away papers] The original two images.

All right, and now the third and final issue: The, uh, internet bullies. You bullies, y-I know y'all are afraid of me, because y'all, 'cause without me, y'all would have nobody to pick on at this point. But you know what? There are sooo many famous movie stars, sooo many famous icons that y'all could just pick on easy enough. But you know what? No matter how many times you direct your influences towards me, I'm just ignoring you, because basically all you're doing, is basically being unheard of. You're basically talking to a brick wall. And I am just blatantly ignoring you hands down. So you may as well just give up! You're v--you're vo--you're opinions and voices are not being heard. You're not scaring me! You're not scarin--y'all are not scaring Blanca. You're n--you're scaring nobody, misters. [walks up for extreme closeup] IT'S TIME TO FACE FACTS, MISTERSSS...AND MISSESSS. [steps back]

So with that I leave y'all with the completion of this update. So, good reason to get a PlayStation 3 system, of at least sixty gigabytes or higher! 'Cause, uh, y'know, they have four USB ports, the memory card slots, and able to access the internet wirelessly. While forty gigabyte and lower: Two USB ports, no memory card slots, and requires an Ethernet cable to connect to the internet. And--LittleBigPlanet! And as you all know from my sponsorship video, ev--most of the videos I put up on YouTube were spo--were sponsored by Sony, and their PlayStation Eye, and their PlayStation 3. And also the slideshow that was on the DVD that y'all may have watched on the, uh, YouTube as well, those were done from my PSP, and projected with the PSP projector that was only compatible with the PSP 1000 series, the thicker one. Versus, uh, like I could have done it better if I waited for the 2000 series, where I had the--where I could have plugged in the composite cable and had the thing fullscreen. But I did not. 'Cause I didn't think of it then.

All right, so I leave y'all with tho--with those new words, and just a reminder. And y'all will be very well--y'all won't have to worry. [grabs boobs] I am safe, I am well, and I'll be staying that way. And I shall keep watch for any bullies. [wipes flopsweat with sleeve] And I will take all necessary steps in due time, as I cross those bridges, be they sound or...broken. Thank you very much, and have a good day or evening.