Faeryn
The Two's company snapshots are a series of photographs taken of Chris enjoying a drink with a morbidly obese young whale, playfully nicknamed Hambeast by the trolls. They were uploaded on 4chan's /v/ on 15 July 2009.
Contrary to rumors on lesser imageboards, it can now be revealed that Chris did not receive any vag, liberated or otherwise.
On the CWCipedia Chris claims that this was his first date.
In a Captain's Log dated 14 March 2010, Chris revealed the name of the Hambeast as Faeryn as he was demanding she be made anonymous.[1]
Background
The date was partially a setup by field agents to see how Chris would react to a willing, but physically unattractive potential mate. While their introduction was a setup, it was actually Chris himself who initiated conversation and asked her out on a date, managing to snag her number. Like Chris she too was fat, unattractive, with poor hygiene and little opportunity for a relationship. Even so, she was less than enthusiastic about dating Chris, and only eventually agreed by virtue of not being able to come up with a good excuse not to.
Also, note that she's chugging down what seems to be a two-pint glass of beer, while Chris is drinking a brightly colored cocktail.
Furthermore, these images have revealed to us that Chris's taste in clothing can indeed get much, much worse. It remains unknown whether the longsleeve Chris is wearing under that red tee was designed by someone under the influence of Yawning Squirtle's supergrass, or by CWC himself, but what remains certain is that this chaos of pink, white and blue-green stands out even in Chris's own terrifying wardrobe.
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This article is still yet to be completed due to stress. We get a lot of stressful torture in our lives that makes us crash into slumber. Given that inspiration is a big variable, and we may have been lacking of it, this article will be completed as soon as possible, at our own pace... HONEST!
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