Paid Video Requests
|
This media needs a transcript. Help CWCki by transcribing the content. If the media is too long, transcribe select portions which are funny or informative. |
On 18 July 2016, Chris announced that he would be offering video messages for sale, for $50 each, arranged through texting instead of his defunct Etsy shop.
Josh Lover of men
- Main article: Josh Lover of men
Copypasta: Sexual Helicopter
- Main article: Copypasta: Sexual Helicopter
Happy Birthday, Nathan.
| Happy Birthday, Nathan. | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 21 July 2016 |
Description
And now, another paid request...
via YouTube Capture
Transcript
Copypasta: Gorilla Warfare
The copypasta Chris was paid to read this time, the "Navy Seal Copypasta" (or "Gorilla Warfare"), is notably heavy on profanity. Presumably to the disappointment of the requester, Chris neglected to read all but one of the curses used. Most were simply deleted, resulting in awkward pauses and seemingly nonsensical sentences, though a few were replaced with milder words or strange sound effects.
| Copypasta: Gorilla Warfare | |
EmbedVideo is missing a required parameter.
| |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 21 July 2016 |
Description
And now, another paid request...
via YouTube Capture
Transcript
And now, another special recording request, paid, copypasta, their words not mine, called "Gorilla Warfare". What the- did you- just say about me, you little bloof? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy SEALs! And I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Qaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills! I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top of- the top sniper in the entire U.S. armed forces. You're nothing to me! You're just another target! I'll wipe the- out with precision... the likes of which you have- has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my... words. You think you'll get away with saying that... to me into- to me over the internet? Think again! As we speak I'm contacting my secret network of spies across the U.S., and your IP is being traced right now, so you better prepare for the storm, maggot, the storm that wipes out the... pathetic little thing you call your life. You're... dead, kid! [strange growling voice] I can be anywhere, at any time. I can kill you in over 700 ways, and that's just with my bare haaands! [normal voice] Not only am I extensive trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corp [sic], [high pitched] and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little! [normal voice] If only you could have known the unholy reb- retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring upon you, maybe you w'ave held your- tongue. But you couldn't, c- you didn't... and now you're paying the price, you god-dang idiot! I will... fury out over you and you will drown in it! You're dead, kiddo.
Yep, [rolls eyes] there's another paid creepypasta [sic], which I just read. [claps down phone, stares into camera] Eh, whatever. Have a good day.
Singing "Yellow Submarine"
| Singing "Yellow Submarine" | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 22 July 2016 |
Description
With pleasure, and by paid request,
via YouTube Capture
Transcript
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Shake my boobies
| Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Shake my boobies | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 22 July 2016 |
This video was deleted by Youtube for violating its policy on "nudity or sexual content."
Description
via YouTube Capture
Transcript
For Elisabeth
| For Elisabeth | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 22 July 2016 |
Description
via YouTube Capture
Transcript
To Stephen.
| To Stephen. | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 22 July 2016 |
Description
via YouTube Capture