SHE IS MINE NOW
Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW is another call out to the real Chris from Ian Brandon Anderson. In it, he raps again and declares that Kacey is his and that he lost her.
Chris plays a wide array of Aerosmith tracks in the background, undoubtedly in an attempt to seem rebellious and dangerous. He shuffles back and forth throughout the video and seems to have aged considerably since yesterday. He also finally changed his shirt.
He also does his Donald Duck impression... that or another rage attack. Who knows?
Video
Transcript
Yo! Mc Chris! I'm gonna rap it to ya, man! Listen up!
[Chris begins "rapping" while "Walk This Way" by nonthreatening classic rockers Aerosmith plays in the background]
I take yo video you blame man
You done copyin' this and that
I'm gonna screw you, I'm gonna take you to town
Who do you think you are,
Eric Cartman?
[Chris does terrible Eric Cartman impression]
Screw you guys, I'm going home!
You had all with the sweet little girl
And yet you break your promise!
Turn your back on her and turn to the trolls!
You just a dang dummy!
And you still chicken you's a dang coward!
You wanna come fight me
Come fight me in person
Come out from behind the camera you fool
I'll fight you anything!
Buh-pap!
[flails arms in an obscene mockery of punching]
And I'm just gonna plain kick yo ass!
MaybeIshouldremindyou's a total width shorter than me!
I'm up at five foot ten, what are you, four foot eight?
I'm gonna tell you something right now
That ain't gonna let you laid,
Yet you had brunch with her and played it down
You's a big ol' dang... stupid lame-ass clown.
Because you know you had all the blessings
She was smart she was sweet she was riwwyvery fun!
She did...
She done left you boy!
You lost her! You treated her like a dang ragdoll!
Dang ragdoll...
And she ain't no ragdoll, she's a caring human being!
And you is a dang fool for mistreating her like you did.
And I love her -- I love her for so much more than that.
And you so... And you threw it all away, man.
And now she's with me.
[Changes track to Aerosmith's "Sing for the Moment"]
And take the point, you should just...
[pauses awkwardly] I'm at this point, man. What I want you to do, because all your notions you had with lovely, sweet Kacey. This point, you could just... DREAM ON. Cause you know I be share [Changes track to Aerosmith's "Sweet Emotion". Chris says the following in an ear-splitting high pitched whine, while holding up the Claw of Doom:] SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET EMOTION. You didn't share no sweet emotion. You just done played her for a fool. And I don't take I don't take to fools like that. [whispers: Please don't. I swear.] And by the way you know what? And you know what? I don't care about bein' a virgin because we're like LOVE IN AN ELEVATOR! LOVIN' IT UP IN AN ELEVATOR! I mean I tell ya. I tell ya what, man. She done leave you -- she done left yous man. She come, she come towards me. Because she's beyond beautiful.
[Changes track to "Beyond Beautiful" from the Aerosmith Track Pack. Chris sings mumbles along, badly] She loves me now, she loves you not! Listen to that! Rittleol' Aerosmith! She's beyond beautiful, and she's beyond... brilliant. She is so kind. She cares about a lot. She cared about you, too. But you done turned her down man. You lost her. So face facts. She's with me Mac -- she is with me now. You're yesterday's news. Just like the.. just like the boat that the Mythbusters made out of newspaper and ice. Yesterday's news. Good show by the way, I learned from it. So you can just move on, Buster Brown! 'Cause Mama Brown ain't gonna take that no more!
Yeah... and I will kick your asses. Because I'm crazy. [Gibbers violently at the camera. Pauses, then does a more effete version of gibbering at the camera]
Come on! You come fight me in person, and I'll kick your ass! Come on!
...have a good day. Beat me in person.