Template:Article of the now

Chris's profile image, or what Ash Ketchum would look like if he had grown up to be a fat and deeply closeted manchild.

The local alternative weekly paper in Charlottesville is The Hook, and its online personal-ads site is called The Hook Cafe. Some time in early 2010, Chris posted a personal ad at the Cafe under the nickname "direct2sex," declaring that he "Need Sexy Sweets from Woman." As far as anyone can tell, no sexy sweets have been forthcoming.

The ad is one of the most blatant confirmations that Chris is no longer interested in "true love" and is now simply looking to get laid. This is not totally unexpected, as most of his followers have always believed that true honest love was merely a ruse to get sex, and that if Chris could get to the the hanky-panky without having to actually care about someone, he would do so in a heartbeat. Before the discovery of this profile, the clearest evidence of this was one of Chris's mailbag responses.

Of note are the differences between this and his previous dating profiles. Chris is apparently making an attempt at being a grown up, and as a result he neglects to mention Sonichu, his autism or the fact he's a twenty eight year old virgin. He also has started to specify a desire for women 21 years or older (but not older than himself, despite his pretty obvious desire for a mother-like figure in his potential mate). In the past he had been open to the idea of dating an 18 year old, despite the vast age difference, and really only stopped at that age for legal reasons.

(more...)