ShecameforCWC.JPG

It's like the Mona Lisa of Fail.

“	And by the way, that is not Crystal whose eyes are censored, that is Megan!	”
Chris, Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008

ShecameforCWC.JPG is a Rule 34 Chris drew as part of a campaign to fight ED by "replacing negativity with positivity"^{[citation needed]}. Arguably the most controversial of all of Chris's artistic canon, and this single image managed to invoke such drama and ruin the closest relationship with a person he ever had, with Megan.

At first, people believed the picture to be of his imaginary twin sister Crystal Weston Chandler, until Chris angrily decried these scurrilous rumors in an internet video, shouting that it was Megan. While this is less disturbing than Chris wanting to fuck his own fictitious twin sister, it is notably creepy that it is of his best friend with whom he had no sexual relationship.

Background

When Chris first discovered the ED page, he was disturbed by the number of pickles on the site. Using his powers of autistic logic, Chris decided that the best response would be to replace these images with images of things that don't make Chris question his sexuality Chris likes, hence "replacing negativity with positivity."

On 11 November 2007, Chris uploaded several new, original images to ED, including ShecameforCWC.jpg. All were varying degrees of horrifying, but ShecameforCWC proved to be the most controversial, leaving trolls in total shock.

Analysis

The drawing fails in so many ways that it manages to capture the true essence of fail that is Chris:

• the artistic skills of an eight year old

• depth and perception; proportion are nonexistent. She looks as flat as paper.

• a complete unfamiliarity with the female anatomy (the vagina is not one long hole and you could never do that sort of thing with a real vagina, looking like that).

• unfamiliarity with human anatomy in general. Megan's legs seem to start right at the groin while her hips are directly behind them. Her right hand seems to be permanently stuck doing the Vulcan hand signal from Star Trek. Also, it looks like neither Chris nor Megan have elbows, joints or even bones for that matter. What is supposed to be her foot looks like a deformed flipper.

• Megan's right nipple looks at first to be a sixth finger, suggesting that Chris messed up (more than usual) while drawing the hand and decided to turn it into a nipple.

• the vagina in question appears to be either glowing or shooting out a powerful gust of wind. Chris probably meant to convey that Megan was "wet" and/or "squirting", but due to his own stupidity he drew her "cum" around and outside the vagina instead of coming from inside it, leading to the "Glowing Ethereal Cunt of All Ages" effect shown in the picture.

• Megan's pubic hair, which was probably supposed to be a landing strip (a near ubiquitous hair cut in porn), in this drawing bears a slight resemblance to Hitler's mustache, which is semi-ironic considering her one-time fetish for German soldiers. Of course Chris wouldn't realize this.

• close attention to the parts that interest Chris, namely genitalia and breasts, yet a tiny head he had to squeeze in, most likely because he started with the former and realized "Oh, she needs a face."

• in contrast, Chris pays close attention to making sure he's wearing his Medallion of Fail in the scene, his eyes are fucking different colors, etc.

• not only a retarded pun, a reinforcement of Chris's narcissism, that when a woman orgasms, it's for his sake and not her own pleasure (as he titled it "ShecameForCWC", emphasis added). Plus, a smug look on his face as he gives a thumbs up while fingering her seals the deal.

• he's wearing his fucking medallion while having sex with a woman. He stated that ideally, he'd like to be wearing his medallion for his first time.

• the fact that this is his best and only friend, Megan.

Drama

With ED

When Chris first uploaded the image to ED, he captioned it "Your sister has cum for me." Apparently this was his idea of a stinging jab at his tormentors. However, it had the unintended effect of leading ED's users to widely conclude that it represented Chris's sister, the fictitious character Crystal. Given the nature of Chris’s artwork, it was an easy mistake to make.

Over the next few months, the image became one of many footballs in the simmering edit war between Chris and ED. It was removed and replaced a few times, but didn’t become a serious hot potato until March 2008, when Megan discovered the picture and (more important) discovered that it was meant to be a picture of her. (Chris, not realizing that it would probably be better to cut his losses and let the trolls believe that he wanted to screw his imaginary sister, spilled the beans himself.) In between bombarding Megan with apologies via e-mail, he went on a desperate campaign to remove the image from his ED page.

Unsurprisingly, this failed, but not after Chris spent most of a week trying to remove the image, trying to delete references to Megan from the article, trying to replace the image with a cropped version, trying to erase random bits of the article in order to camouflage his real intentions, and otherwise failing to realize that once something goes up on a wiki, you can’t make it come back down. ED admins quickly reverted his edits and eventually protected the page once it was obvious that Chris was up to something.

On 18 March, Chris admitted defeat in his own disturbing way, and edited the image’s caption – as well as several other captions around the article – to make it clear that the woman depicted is Megan, not Crystal. Over the next few days, he made a number of other self-deprecating and self-pitying changes and additions to the page, including the "You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!" series of images, before giving up on editing ED for six months.

With Megan

Email correspondence revealed the depth of Megan's pain and Chris's (faux) remorse:

−−−−−Original Message−−−−−
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com
Sent: Wed, 12 Mar 2008 6:23:24 PM Eastern Daylight Time
Subject: I am sooooo sorry

 

I didn't realize how much of an... a-hole I could have been; I was caught up in the rage from that weekend in November when I did that; I couldn't even see straight. But I have done what I should have done long ago; inform AOL, as well as other places on the web who can take down offensive websites and pages.

I've really shot myself in the foot, and I am sorry. Not only am I mad at myself for being such a complete enraged a-hole, but my rage against those jerks who put that page up in the first place arose with greater flame, because my closest friend got hurt emotionally (that's you).

I will see to that website's demise, or my name isn't Christian Weston Chandler.

Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you.

Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you.

And I am prepared to repeat that hundred times from the bottom of my hurting heart.

−−−−−Original Message−−−−−
From: Megan Schroeder <yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com>
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com
Sent: Thu, 13 Mar 2008 7:33 am
Subject: well...

 

I just don't know what to say now.... I am very much scarred by that image and it will never leave me. And I can't decide what's worse, the image in general, or the fact you intentionally drew it AND gave it to the webmaster for that site that you hate so much. Not only have you poured gas on the fire by doing that,(adding obscenity to the already horrific site) but you have also embarrassed and humuliated me, and degraded and demeaned me whether you realize it or not. I mean I'm not that kind of girl, and you know that. So why? And you also lied to me about it. Between that and my recent heartbreak how am I to trust another man again? Simply put: I can no longer trust anyone now. You have very much hurt me on an emotional level. And when I get hurt emotionally it'll take a physical toll. As in no appetite, feeling tired and sick, no sleep. So I am unsure what to do about this. I can't say I really think of you the same anymore, I'm sorry to say. I will continue to give the remaining items for the zune and that will be all the contact you have with me unless I decide otherwise. I hope you understand. So we'll let time decide how I feel about this current situation. Until then please d on't come up to me anymore unless it's to give you what I owe which seems kind of awkward now. I know how it feels to be alone but, I can't keep throwing away my pride little by little just to keep you satisfied, you know what I mean? There has to be an "enough is enough" at some point. And I cannot continue to disgrace myself by forgiving things that I never find forgivable in the first place. That's all I can think to say right now I'm sorry, we'll just see ~Megan

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Today

Christian's remorse turned out, not surprisingly, to be fake as he went and reuploaded the picture for his sleazy Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack, citing the fact he needed "sexy images".

The pain he caused a female friend means nothing compared to his lust for e-fame.