User:Clydec/CWC Facts

A lot of people come up to me and say, man you sure are mean for picking on Chris! And I just do a 360 and walk away. But seriously though, I hardly do shit to this guy, he's digging his own grave at this point. Here are some "CWC" facts about the guy for those who are new to this fella.

Money

• Chris lives off the government with a stipend of 800 dollars of YOUR MONEY a month.
• Turns out he spends at least 1/8th of that on video games.
• He's spent over 3,000 dollars on the PSN alone and that's not including games and the console itself.
• He's in super massive debt with like 3 credit cards.

Romance

• Chris was fed up of being in the friend zone with a girl called Megan so he drew a sexual picture of her and passed it off as normal and is NOT a rapist.
• Chris was fed up of being in the friend zone with a girl known as the Wallflower so he demanded an apology from her and passed it off as normal and is NOT an asshole.

Law

• Chris has been arrested three times.

Only the funniest, most horrifying facts make it onto this page. If Chris tries to denounce these facts, he is lying.

• Since Chris has stopped drinking his semen, he now uses it as a body wash to keep his skin silky smooth.
• Chris has considered using hair plugs to cover up his balding.
• Chris uses his cats as napkins or towels. This is why his cats dislike his presence.
• Chris enjoys sleeping with his mother and spooning with her.
• Chris has experimented with fisting on himself in private. He has confided this to The Wallflower.
• Every morning, Chris gets a Triple Whopper meal at Burger King.
• Back when he was at The Game Place, he used to hit on children. This is why Snyder banned him. He sure is a pedofork.
• He takes estrogen pills to increase his breast size so he can be closer to his sweethearts.
• Chris can not get a job as he once used a Curse-ye-ha-me-ha on an employee. He is blacklisted in many parts of Virginia.
• Chris never went through puberty so his voice will remain forever high-pitched. His testicles never dropped.
• Chris was banned from his local Victoria's Secret store in Charlottesville after trying to return some dirty crapped briefs.