Difference between revisions of "Template:Article of the now"

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(Haven't really seen the leaks discussed anywhere)
 
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[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Chris's profile image, or what Ash Ketchum would look like if he had grown up to be a fat and [[homos|deeply closeted]] manchild.]]
[[File:Minecraft - Timeline from PMDGrovyle.png|250px|right]]


The local alternative weekly paper in [[Charlottesville]] is ''The Hook'', and its online personal-ads site is called '''The Hook Cafe'''. Some time in early [[2010]], Chris posted a personal ad at the Cafe under the nickname "[[Chris and sex|direct2sex]]," declaring that he "Need [[China|Sexy Sweets]] from Woman." As far as anyone can tell, no sexy sweets have been forthcoming.
On 14 [[September 2024]], Chris would publish a video to [[YouTube]] in which he reveals the usernames of three of his new '''Minecraft friends''' via the chat, the usernames being '''T4ll3n47''', '''CookSUCKS123''', and '''PMDGrovyle'''. Chris refers to these people as friends, buddies, and allies. All of the main three were tasked with building his Minecraft world as he had announced in [[October 2023]], that which they did in Chris's Minecraft Realm which opened in [[June 2024]].


The ad is one of the most blatant confirmations that Chris is no longer interested in "true love" and is now simply looking to get laid. This is not totally unexpected, as most of his followers have always believed that true honest love was merely a ruse to get sex, and that if Chris could get to the the [[hanky-panky]] without having to actually care about someone, he would do so in a heartbeat.  Before the discovery of this profile, the clearest evidence of this was [[Mailbag 53#So much for true love|one of Chris's mailbag responses]].
Their earliest known appearance is in [[July 2024]]. Chris claimed to have played on the Realm for years; the Realm's world being version 1.14 implies it was created in [[2019]]. PMDGrovyle got into touch with Chris by sending him an email after Chris announced looking for builders in [[October 2023]], and he was shocked to get a response. Grovyle's email included "a bunch of builds I had done and a quick "love to join" message". On 27 [[July 2024]], Chris would use [[Discord]] for voice chat communication with them, and he mentions a "convenient [Discord] server."


Of note are the differences between this and his previous dating profiles. Chris is apparently making an attempt at being a grown up, and as a result he neglects to mention [[Sonichu]], his [[autism]] or the fact he's a twenty eight year old [[virgin with rage|virgin]]. He also has started to specify a desire for women 21 years or older (but not older than himself, despite his pretty obvious desire for a mother-like figure in his potential mate). In the past he had been open to the idea of dating an 18 year old, despite the vast age difference, and really only stopped at that age for legal reasons.  
Chris once mentioned that not all of his friends were online at the same time while all three of the known ones were, implying the existence of more unknown friends. This would turn out to be the case, as revealed in their aforementioned Discord server which was eventually named [[CWCville Crew]], there were other members in the Discord and people who had also played in the Realm with Chris, including a player named '''[https://xboxgamertag.com/search/Allycat3365 Allycat3365]''' which other members secretly felt could be [[Flutter]]. Their reasons include Chris being hesitant to talk about them, answering "no comment" when asked an innocent question if they could play together, the [[December 2023]] audio of Chris allegedly shouting Flutter's name, it being implied Flutter plays with Chris due to the Flutter skin seen in-game on Chris's stream, and Chris censoring signs and builds to avoid "[[dox]]ing", which was showcased on Chris's livestream on 30 [[June 2024]] although was later incorrectly assumed by the public that Chris was referring to the known main three. The main three felt that Chris appeared generally reluctant and untrusting of them and did not have them friended, with Grovyle stating their known VC session was the only one they had: "Chris won't get in VC, we had to lowkey manipulate him to join the discord to start with and he only ever joined vc for the dragon fight".


This is not the first time Chris has posted a personal ad on the Hook Cafe. An earlier attempt, where Chris promoted himself as a "Handsome Virgin searching for Woman," fell victim to hackers around the beginning of 2009. Unfortunately, most of its original contents weren't preserved before the trolls gave it a makeover. It's the hacked version that's referred to in Chris's [[IRC_(20_January_2009)|20 January 2009 IRC chat]].
('''[[Minecraft#Minecraft friends|More...]]''')
 
('''[[The Hook Cafe|more...]]''')
 
<noinclude>[[Category: Front page templates]] [[Category: Pages that have been edited by Chris]]</noinclude>

Latest revision as of 16:03, 4 November 2026

Minecraft - Timeline from PMDGrovyle.png

On 14 September 2024, Chris would publish a video to YouTube in which he reveals the usernames of three of his new Minecraft friends via the chat, the usernames being T4ll3n47, CookSUCKS123, and PMDGrovyle. Chris refers to these people as friends, buddies, and allies. All of the main three were tasked with building his Minecraft world as he had announced in October 2023, that which they did in Chris's Minecraft Realm which opened in June 2024.

Their earliest known appearance is in July 2024. Chris claimed to have played on the Realm for years; the Realm's world being version 1.14 implies it was created in 2019. PMDGrovyle got into touch with Chris by sending him an email after Chris announced looking for builders in October 2023, and he was shocked to get a response. Grovyle's email included "a bunch of builds I had done and a quick "love to join" message". On 27 July 2024, Chris would use Discord for voice chat communication with them, and he mentions a "convenient [Discord] server."

Chris once mentioned that not all of his friends were online at the same time while all three of the known ones were, implying the existence of more unknown friends. This would turn out to be the case, as revealed in their aforementioned Discord server which was eventually named CWCville Crew, there were other members in the Discord and people who had also played in the Realm with Chris, including a player named Allycat3365 which other members secretly felt could be Flutter. Their reasons include Chris being hesitant to talk about them, answering "no comment" when asked an innocent question if they could play together, the December 2023 audio of Chris allegedly shouting Flutter's name, it being implied Flutter plays with Chris due to the Flutter skin seen in-game on Chris's stream, and Chris censoring signs and builds to avoid "doxing", which was showcased on Chris's livestream on 30 June 2024 although was later incorrectly assumed by the public that Chris was referring to the known main three. The main three felt that Chris appeared generally reluctant and untrusting of them and did not have them friended, with Grovyle stating their known VC session was the only one they had: "Chris won't get in VC, we had to lowkey manipulate him to join the discord to start with and he only ever joined vc for the dragon fight".

(More...)

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