Difference between revisions of "Template:Article of the now"

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[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Chris's profile image, or what Ash Ketchum would look like if he had grown up to be a fat and [[homos|deeply closeted]] manchild.]]
[[File:CWCLuther2 - credit to Here to Lurk.png|200px|right]]


The local alternative weekly paper in [[Charlottesville]] is ''The Hook'', and its online personal-ads site is called '''The Hook Cafe'''. Some time in early [[2010]], Chris posted a personal ad at the Cafe under the nickname "[[Chris and sex|direct2sex]]," declaring that he "Need [[China|Sexy Sweets]] from Woman." As far as anyone can tell, no sexy sweets have been forthcoming.
In [[October 2016]], Chris visited some of the stores at which he is banned and asked the management to sign a contract to unban him. The documents were leaked to [[Kiwi Farms]] on 13 October.


The ad is one of the most blatant confirmations that Chris is no longer interested in "true love" and is now simply looking to get laid. This is not totally unexpected, as most of his followers have always believed that true honest love was merely a ruse to get sex, and that if Chris could get to the the [[hanky-panky]] without having to actually care about someone, he would do so in a heartbeat. Before the discovery of this profile, the clearest evidence of this was [[Mailbag 53#So much for true love|one of Chris's mailbag responses]].
Chris's attitude to bans appears to have remained the same [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|as his reaction]] to his ban from the [[GAMe PLACe]] nearly a decade earlier, using ridiculous [[negotiation]] tactics to tackle bans that he just cannot get over. These documents are also a big example of his [[Chris and his Ego|egotistical nature]] and [[Sonic Boom Protests|deteriorating]] [[Un-clit 2.0|sense]] [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis|of]] [[Chris and reality|reality]] post-[[Tomgirl]], believing that businesses (that'll be better without his patronage) will sign a legal document that will unban him and prevent them from being able to call the [[JERKOPS|police]] against him (which is illegal since contracts cannot be used to protect from [[Chris and the Law|criminal prosecution]], thus making it null and void), all because a violent, egotistical lolcow believes that not signing would prove that they are "most uncompassionate and lacking of heart and soul of any person", and are a bunch of "unwelcoming immature rat -a**" b*****", comparing them to [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]]. He also believes that the reasons that he was banned are now "outdated" (similar to how he tried to convince [[Michael Snyder]] that he needs to "[[Chris and remorse|forgive]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|and]] [[Megan|forget]]"), and that the [[Chris in the media#New York Magazine|"Human Rights Campaign"]] would be on his side since he's now a "[[Tomgirl Saga|"L"esbian "T"ranswoman]]", the L and T from LGBTQ.


Of note are the differences between this and his previous dating profiles. Chris is apparently making an attempt at being a grown up, and as a result he neglects to mention [[Sonichu]], his [[autism]] or the fact he's a twenty eight year old [[virgin with rage|virgin]]. He also has started to specify a desire for women 21 years or older (but not older than himself, despite his pretty obvious desire for a mother-like figure in his potential mate). In the past he had been open to the idea of dating an 18 year old, despite the vast age difference, and really only stopped at that age for legal reasons.
('''[[Unban contracts|More...]]''')
 
This is not the first time Chris has posted a personal ad on the Hook Cafe. An earlier attempt, where Chris promoted himself as a "Handsome Virgin searching for Woman," fell victim to hackers around the beginning of 2009. Unfortunately, most of its original contents weren't preserved before the trolls gave it a makeover. It's the hacked version that's referred to in Chris's [[IRC_(20_January_2009)|20 January 2009 IRC chat]].
 
('''[[The Hook Cafe|more...]]''')
 
<noinclude>[[Category: Front page templates]] [[Category: Pages that have been edited by Chris]]</noinclude>

Latest revision as of 02:03, 25 November 2024

CWCLuther2 - credit to Here to Lurk.png

In October 2016, Chris visited some of the stores at which he is banned and asked the management to sign a contract to unban him. The documents were leaked to Kiwi Farms on 13 October.

Chris's attitude to bans appears to have remained the same as his reaction to his ban from the GAMe PLACe nearly a decade earlier, using ridiculous negotiation tactics to tackle bans that he just cannot get over. These documents are also a big example of his egotistical nature and deteriorating sense of reality post-Tomgirl, believing that businesses (that'll be better without his patronage) will sign a legal document that will unban him and prevent them from being able to call the police against him (which is illegal since contracts cannot be used to protect from criminal prosecution, thus making it null and void), all because a violent, egotistical lolcow believes that not signing would prove that they are "most uncompassionate and lacking of heart and soul of any person", and are a bunch of "unwelcoming immature rat -a**" b*****", comparing them to Donald Trump. He also believes that the reasons that he was banned are now "outdated" (similar to how he tried to convince Michael Snyder that he needs to "forgive and forget"), and that the "Human Rights Campaign" would be on his side since he's now a ""L"esbian "T"ranswoman", the L and T from LGBTQ.

(More...)

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