Difference between revisions of "Hooker incident"
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The '''Hooker incident''' was an act of trolling in which [[Bryan Bash]] sent a gaggle of | The '''Hooker incident''' was an act of trolling in which [[Bryan Bash]] sent a gaggle of boyfriend-free prostitutes to [[house|14 Branchland Court]] in [[March 2009]] so [[Chris]] would no longer need to be a [[virgin with rage]]. | ||
==Background== | ==Background== | ||
After Chris's failed date with [[Emily]] | After Chris's failed 19 March date with [[Emily]] was ambushed by the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], Chris came home, only to find that a mysterious benefactor had provided him with a group of "escorts" to help him divest himself of his virginity | ||
==Result== | ==Result== | ||
Chris literally started crying and his parents called the [[police]]. During his phone conversation with Emily, who else but [[Clyde Cash]] should show up and claim responsibility for the whole incident. | Chris literally started crying and his parents called the [[police]]. During his phone conversation with Emily, who else but [[Clyde Cash]] should show up and claim responsibility for the whole incident. | ||
==Aftermath== | ===Aftermath=== | ||
Clyde took the fall for it in | [[Clyde Cash]] took the fall for it in a phone call, right after [[Emily#Post-date_conversation_transcript|Emily's post-date conversation]]. | ||
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' [''fake-sounding accent''] This call is being recorded. [''phone ringing''] | <br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> [''fake-sounding accent''] This call is being recorded. [''phone ringing''] | ||
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Uh, hello?</font> | <br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh, hello?</font> | ||
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris. It’s me. Clyde. You seemed a little hasty at the end, there. I just want to talk to you.</font> | <br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Hey, Chris. It’s me. Clyde. You seemed a little hasty at the end, there. I just want to talk to you.</font> | ||
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Uh, who is this?</font> | <br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh, who is this?</font> | ||
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' It's Clyde.</font> | <br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> It's Clyde.</font> | ||
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Oh. [''unintelligible'']</font> | <br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh. [''unintelligible'']</font> | ||
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' You want to say ‘hi’ to Emily? She’s still here. Anyway, I just wondered, like, uh… I was trying to help you with your virgin problem, and I sent over some ''fine'' ladies over to your house. How--how’d that work out for you?</font> | <br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> You want to say ‘hi’ to Emily? She’s still here. Anyway, I just wondered, like, uh… I was trying to help you with your virgin problem, and I sent over some ''fine'' ladies over to your house. How--how’d that work out for you?</font> | ||
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Oh, so you were the one who sent them over, huh? Well, for your information, uh, my family, uh, was very uncomfortable with them being--being sent over, and, uh, they re—and they reported them to the police, and they got turned in, and, uh… Yeah, we did not appreciate that.</font> | <br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh, so you were the one who sent them over, huh? Well, for your information, uh, my family, uh, was very uncomfortable with them being--being sent over, and, uh, they re—and they reported them to the police, and they got turned in, and, uh… Yeah, we did not appreciate that.</font> | ||
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Uh, Chris, you claim to be a virgin with rage all the time. I’m trying to help you, man.</font> | <br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Uh, Chris, you claim to be a virgin with rage all the time. I’m trying to help you, man.</font> | ||
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, sending over prostitutes is not exactly the way of helping somebody find true love.</font> | <br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well, sending over prostitutes is not exactly the way of helping somebody find [[Sweetheart from the ground up|true love]].</font> | ||
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Sex is not true love, Chris.</font> | <br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Sex is not true love, Chris.</font> | ||
<br>[''Chris talking in the background, indistinct''] | <br>[''Chris talking in the background, indistinct''] | ||
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah, you still there, Clyde?</font> | <br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah, you still there, Clyde?</font> | ||
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Yeah.</font> | <br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Yeah.</font> | ||
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' [''[[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] prompting him, indistinct''] Yeah, keep your nose out of our business, Clyde.</font> | <br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> [''[[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] prompting him, indistinct''] Yeah, keep your nose out of our business, Clyde.</font> | ||
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Look, I worry for your family and everybody, okay? I’m trying to look out for the best of you, Chris. There are much more evil men in this world.</font> | <br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Look, I worry for your family and everybody, okay? I’m trying to look out for the best of you, Chris. There are much more [[JERKS|evil men]] in this world.</font> | ||
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' I don't know who you think you are.</font> | <br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:'''</font> I don't know who you think you are.</font> | ||
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Hello?</font> | <br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Hello?</font> | ||
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' I said I don't know who you think you are.</font> | <br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:'''</font> I said I don't know who you think you are.</font> | ||
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Chris, your voice changed.</font> | <br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Chris, your voice changed.</font> | ||
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' But I’m telling you to both—uh—uh—t-to cease bothering us, okay?</font> | <br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:'''</font> But I’m telling you to both—uh—uh—t-to cease bothering us, okay?</font> | ||
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Chris, your voice changed.</font> | <br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Chris, your voice changed.</font> | ||
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' [''overlapping''] Otherwise, yer butt’s gonna be in trouble. Yer butt’s gonna be in trouble.</font> | <br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:'''</font> [''overlapping''] Otherwise, yer butt’s gonna be in trouble. Yer butt’s gonna be in trouble.</font> | ||
<br><font color="#213D30">''' | <br><font color="#213D30">'''Bryan Bash:'''</font> Is your refrigerator running?</font> | ||
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' Back off!</font> | <br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:'''</font> Back off!</font> | ||
<br><font color="#213D30">''' | <br><font color="#213D30">'''Bryan Bash:'''</font> Uoahh!</font> | ||
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' Don't call us | <br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:'''</font> Don't call us any more. Goodbye!</font> | ||
<br><font color="#213D30">'''Brian Bash:''' No, [''unintelligible''] Use the Poké Flute | <br><font color="#213D30">'''Brian Bash:''' No, [''unintelligible''] Use the Poké Flute<ref>The [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Poké_Flute Poké Flute] is an item used in ''[[Pokémon]]'' games to wake up a [[Snorlax]]</ref>, quick!</font> | ||
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Okay! [inarticulate yell]</font> | <br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</ref> Okay! [''inarticulate yell'']</font> | ||
===Return to hookers?=== | |||
In [[July 2010]], Chris seemed interested in the prospect of having sex with prostitutes (and apparently unable to use Google), and posted on the [[CWCki]] | |||
{{Quote|Something else that has piqued my curiousity, from the Hooker incident, I'm wondering from which luscious company or group Bryan Bash the ladies came from, specifically the company name, their website, and from within Chris's crappy (434) A.C. Because if they were out-of-his-state, I may give them a call myself. >:D|"[[JenkinsJinkies]]"<ref>[[User talk:JenkinsJinkies]]</ref> | |||
==Sauces== | |||
<references/> | |||
[[Category:Trolling]] | [[Category:Trolling]] | ||
Revision as of 15:57, 6 February 2011
The Hooker incident was an act of trolling in which Bryan Bash sent a gaggle of boyfriend-free prostitutes to 14 Branchland Court in March 2009 so Chris would no longer need to be a virgin with rage.
Background
After Chris's failed 19 March date with Emily was ambushed by the Man in the Pickle Suit, Chris came home, only to find that a mysterious benefactor had provided him with a group of "escorts" to help him divest himself of his virginity
Result
Chris literally started crying and his parents called the police. During his phone conversation with Emily, who else but Clyde Cash should show up and claim responsibility for the whole incident.
Aftermath
Clyde Cash took the fall for it in a phone call, right after Emily's post-date conversation.
Clyde: [fake-sounding accent] This call is being recorded. [phone ringing]
Chris: Uh, hello?
Clyde: Hey, Chris. It’s me. Clyde. You seemed a little hasty at the end, there. I just want to talk to you.
Chris: Uh, who is this?
Clyde: It's Clyde.
Chris: Oh. [unintelligible]
Clyde: You want to say ‘hi’ to Emily? She’s still here. Anyway, I just wondered, like, uh… I was trying to help you with your virgin problem, and I sent over some fine ladies over to your house. How--how’d that work out for you?
Chris: Oh, so you were the one who sent them over, huh? Well, for your information, uh, my family, uh, was very uncomfortable with them being--being sent over, and, uh, they re—and they reported them to the police, and they got turned in, and, uh… Yeah, we did not appreciate that.
Clyde: Uh, Chris, you claim to be a virgin with rage all the time. I’m trying to help you, man.
Chris: Yeah, well, sending over prostitutes is not exactly the way of helping somebody find true love.
Clyde: Sex is not true love, Chris.
[Chris talking in the background, indistinct]
Chris: Yeah, you still there, Clyde?
Clyde: Yeah.
Chris: [Barbara prompting him, indistinct] Yeah, keep your nose out of our business, Clyde.
Clyde: Look, I worry for your family and everybody, okay? I’m trying to look out for the best of you, Chris. There are much more evil men in this world.
Barbara: I don't know who you think you are.
Clyde: Hello?
Barbara: I said I don't know who you think you are.
Clyde: Chris, your voice changed.
Barbara: But I’m telling you to both—uh—uh—t-to cease bothering us, okay?
Clyde: Chris, your voice changed.
Barbara: [overlapping] Otherwise, yer butt’s gonna be in trouble. Yer butt’s gonna be in trouble.
Bryan Bash: Is your refrigerator running?
Barbara: Back off!
Bryan Bash: Uoahh!
Barbara: Don't call us any more. Goodbye!
Brian Bash: No, [unintelligible] Use the Poké Flute[1], quick!
Clyde:</ref> Okay! [inarticulate yell]
Return to hookers?
In July 2010, Chris seemed interested in the prospect of having sex with prostitutes (and apparently unable to use Google), and posted on the CWCki {{Quote|Something else that has piqued my curiousity, from the Hooker incident, I'm wondering from which luscious company or group Bryan Bash the ladies came from, specifically the company name, their website, and from within Chris's crappy (434) A.C. Because if they were out-of-his-state, I may give them a call myself. >:D|"JenkinsJinkies"[2]
Sauces
- ↑ The Poké Flute is an item used in Pokémon games to wake up a Snorlax
- ↑ User talk:JenkinsJinkies