Difference between revisions of "Sweetheart"
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* MUST NOT be a [[BlueSpike|man]]. | * MUST NOT be a [[BlueSpike|man]]. | ||
* IRISH need NOT apply. | * IRISH need NOT apply. | ||
If you fit all of the criteria and are into overweight freakish, perverse man-children, then God help you! | If you fit all of the criteria and are into overweight freakish, perverse man-children, then God help you! | ||
The parents told the girl to lock all the windows and doors after they had left. But there was one window in the basement that would not close completely. | |||
Trying as best as she could she finally got the window shut, but it would not lock. So she left the window, and went back upstairs. But just to make sure that no one could get in, she put the dead-bolt lock on the basment door. | |||
Then she sat down had some dinner, fed her dog and decided to go to sleep for the night. Settling down, she snuggled up in bed. Her dog slept underneath her bed. She reached her hand down and let her dog lick it as she said goodnight. | |||
But during the night, she woke up with a start. The girl lay there wondering what had woken her, when suddenly she heard a noise. It was a dripping sound and seemed to be coming from the bathroom. She must have left the water running, and now it was dripping into the drain of her sink. So thinking it was no big deal she decided to go back to sleep. | |||
But she felt nervous so she reached her hand over the edge of her bed, and let the dog lick her hand for reasurance that he would protect her. Again at about 3:45 she woke up hearing drippping. Again she reached down and let the dog lick her hand. Then she fell back to sleep. | |||
At 6:52 the girl decided that she had had enough…she got up just in time to see her parents were pulling up to the house. “Good”, she thought. “Now somebody can fix the sink…’cause I know I didn’t leave it running.” | |||
She walked to the bathroom and there was the collie dog, skinned and hung up on the curtain rod. The noise she heard was its blood dripping into a puddle on the floor. The girl screamed and ran to her bedroom to get a weapon, in case someone was still in the house…..and there on the floor, next to her bed she saw a small note, written in blood, saying: “Hi i am Christian Weston Chandler will you be my Sweetheart ?”. | |||
==See Also== | ==See Also== | ||
Revision as of 01:23, 27 April 2009
Chris's term for his true love ("heartsweet" is also used in the comics). His goal is to build a sweetheart from the ground up to give birth to his God-chosen daughter, Crystal Weston Chandler (named after the illustrious metal and a name similar to his own).
Providing Chris with a sweetheart who is really a troll has been a sport for trolls for sometime now. With the except of Julie, none of the trolls have revealed themselves. Some argue that this is that being a sweetheart to Chris is like Stockholm syndrome, leading trolls such as Blanca and Panda to identify and sympathize with their captor.
Qualifications to becoming a TRUE and HONEST sweetheart of Chris
- MUST be boyfriend-free. (can't emphasise that enough!)
- MUST be 18 - (Chris's current age).
- MUST be white (NO DARKIES).
- MUST have a car.
- MUST have a mid to high salary.
- MUST live within 30 miles of the Ruckersville area.
- MUST NOT be a cop.
- MUST NOT have Autism.
- MUST NOT be a man.
- IRISH need NOT apply.
If you fit all of the criteria and are into overweight freakish, perverse man-children, then God help you!
The parents told the girl to lock all the windows and doors after they had left. But there was one window in the basement that would not close completely.
Trying as best as she could she finally got the window shut, but it would not lock. So she left the window, and went back upstairs. But just to make sure that no one could get in, she put the dead-bolt lock on the basment door.
Then she sat down had some dinner, fed her dog and decided to go to sleep for the night. Settling down, she snuggled up in bed. Her dog slept underneath her bed. She reached her hand down and let her dog lick it as she said goodnight. But during the night, she woke up with a start. The girl lay there wondering what had woken her, when suddenly she heard a noise. It was a dripping sound and seemed to be coming from the bathroom. She must have left the water running, and now it was dripping into the drain of her sink. So thinking it was no big deal she decided to go back to sleep.
But she felt nervous so she reached her hand over the edge of her bed, and let the dog lick her hand for reasurance that he would protect her. Again at about 3:45 she woke up hearing drippping. Again she reached down and let the dog lick her hand. Then she fell back to sleep.
At 6:52 the girl decided that she had had enough…she got up just in time to see her parents were pulling up to the house. “Good”, she thought. “Now somebody can fix the sink…’cause I know I didn’t leave it running.”
She walked to the bathroom and there was the collie dog, skinned and hung up on the curtain rod. The noise she heard was its blood dripping into a puddle on the floor. The girl screamed and ran to her bedroom to get a weapon, in case someone was still in the house…..and there on the floor, next to her bed she saw a small note, written in blood, saying: “Hi i am Christian Weston Chandler will you be my Sweetheart ?”.
See Also
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This article, like Chris's pickle, is a bit small. You can help CWCki by expanding it. |