Difference between revisions of "Template:Article of the now"

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[[File:Claw_of_fail_2.jpg|200px|right]]
[[File:ChristheKarmaHoudini.PNG|200px|right]]


The '''Claw of Fail''' is a dramatic hand gesture used by Chris when he wants to emphasize whatever stupid point he's trying to make at the moment. Chris will hold his hand out, palm upturned, with his fingers outstretched and curled upwards, in the manner of a cartoonish villain.  
The '''Un-clit''' was what [[Chris]] called a small piercing on his "taint" (or perineum, in clinical terminology), what's known as a guiche piercing among body modification enthusiasts. He had apparently gotten it as "a fair substitute" for a clitoris, indicating that Chris believes the clitoris is located on a woman's perineum. It seems that Chris's knowledge of female anatomy wasn't noticeably improved by his encounters with [[Mia Hamm]]. Chris's rationale for getting the un-clit also included an introduction to the sex lives of female bonobos. The taint is actually one of the most neglected parts of the body, and the most dirty, since it neighbors the anus. Since Chris rarely bathes himself, getting a taint piercing was a disaster waiting to happen.


Much in the way that Chris [[parody|steals]] [[Random-access humor|jokes]], [[Things Chris has ripped off|ideas]] and phrases he uses in everyday speech from movies, [[anime]], video games and [[Ghostbusters|cartoons]], he also copies body language and hand gestures. Due to spending a lot of time in his formative years watching television and away from his parents, a younger Chris relied on media to teach him new words, phrases and ideas, copying the mannerisms he saw in the shows and movies that he watched, with this being a notable, repeated example.
After a couple of weeks, the piercing began to migrate out of Chris's body in a process referred to as "rejection." Instead of letting the area heal before a second attempt, Chris immediately tried to re-pierce it, with a ''safety pin''. This rather predictably resulted in the migration worsening, and even after going to a professional and having it re-done again, his body still rejected it and [[Catherine|Catie]] eventually convinced Chris to give up on the piercing altogether. Factoring 2 professional piercings and 2 items of jewelry, Chris [[Chris and money|wasted a grand total of about $200]] of his [[monthly tugboat]] on this.


('''[[Claw of Fail|More...]]''')
('''[[Un-clit|More...]]''')

Revision as of 23:48, 5 January 2024

ChristheKarmaHoudini.PNG

The Un-clit was what Chris called a small piercing on his "taint" (or perineum, in clinical terminology), what's known as a guiche piercing among body modification enthusiasts. He had apparently gotten it as "a fair substitute" for a clitoris, indicating that Chris believes the clitoris is located on a woman's perineum. It seems that Chris's knowledge of female anatomy wasn't noticeably improved by his encounters with Mia Hamm. Chris's rationale for getting the un-clit also included an introduction to the sex lives of female bonobos. The taint is actually one of the most neglected parts of the body, and the most dirty, since it neighbors the anus. Since Chris rarely bathes himself, getting a taint piercing was a disaster waiting to happen.

After a couple of weeks, the piercing began to migrate out of Chris's body in a process referred to as "rejection." Instead of letting the area heal before a second attempt, Chris immediately tried to re-pierce it, with a safety pin. This rather predictably resulted in the migration worsening, and even after going to a professional and having it re-done again, his body still rejected it and Catie eventually convinced Chris to give up on the piercing altogether. Factoring 2 professional piercings and 2 items of jewelry, Chris wasted a grand total of about $200 of his monthly tugboat on this.

(More...)

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