Difference between revisions of "Template:Article of the now"

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(Why is Megan the article of the now? How does this reflect the now? It's been featured at least three times now, why now?)
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[[Image:Sony playstation 3.jpg|thumb|A life upgrade.]]
[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Chris's profile image, or what Ash Ketchum would look like if he had grown up to be a fat and [[homos|deeply closeted]] manchild.]]


Chris's [[Sony]] '''PlayStation 3''' (purchased 17 March [[2006]]) is his "life upgrade." He wanted to win one in a contest, so he made [[Pixelated PS3|a video]] where he built one out of [[Pixelblocks]]. He would "throw out the cure for [[autism]]" for one. He eventually went ahead and bought one with taxpayer money from his [[monthly tugboat]], using one of his many collected credit cards.
The local alternative weekly paper in [[Charlottesville]] is ''The Hook'', and its online personal-ads site is called '''The Hook Cafe'''. Some time in early [[2010]], Chris posted a personal ad at the Cafe under the nickname "[[Chris and sex|direct2sex]]," declaring that he "Need [[China|Sexy Sweets]] from Woman." As far as anyone can tell, no sexy sweets have been forthcoming.


[[Chris]], being as irresponsible with [[money]] as he is, went into overdrive with this feature of the PS3's online capabilities. Chris has spent so much on the PSN it has contributed into most of the $2000 of his credit card debt (although this was during the [[Julie]] Saga). As of now that number is higher.
The ad is one of the most blatant confirmations that Chris is no longer interested in "true love" and is now simply looking to get laid.  This is not totally unexpected, as most of his followers have always believed that true honest love was merely a ruse to get sex, and that if Chris could get to the the [[hanky-panky]] without having to actually care about someone, he would do so in a heartbeat. Before the discovery of this profile, the clearest evidence of this was [[Mailbag 53#So much for true love|one of Chris's mailbag responses]].


You might ask yourself how he could spend that much, and what he could spend it on. Chris seemingly buys everything possible, from game content to movies to several episodes of terrible harem [[anime]]. A list of Chris's PSN purchases reveals that he has even bought upgrades to games he doesn't even own.
Of note are the differences between this and his previous dating profiles. Chris is apparently making an attempt at being a grown up, and as a result he neglects to mention [[Sonichu]], his [[autism]] or the fact he's a twenty eight year old [[virgin with rage|virgin]]. He also has started to specify a desire for women 21 years or older (but not older than himself, despite his pretty obvious desire for a mother-like figure in his potential mate). In the past he had been open to the idea of dating an 18 year old, despite the vast age difference, and really only stopped at that age for legal reasons.  


Chris has currently spent: '''$3405.22'''
This is not the first time Chris has posted a personal ad on the Hook Cafe. An earlier attempt, where Chris promoted himself as a "Handsome Virgin searching for Woman," fell victim to hackers around the beginning of 2009. Unfortunately, most of its original contents weren't preserved before the trolls gave it a makeover. It's the hacked version that's referred to in Chris's [[IRC_(20_January_2009)|20 January 2009 IRC chat]].


('''[[PS3|more...]]''')
('''[[The Hook Cafe|more...]]''')


<noinclude>[[Category: Front page templates]] [[Category: Pages that have been edited by Chris]]</noinclude>
<noinclude>[[Category: Front page templates]] [[Category: Pages that have been edited by Chris]]</noinclude>

Revision as of 19:10, 6 April 2010

Chris's profile image, or what Ash Ketchum would look like if he had grown up to be a fat and deeply closeted manchild.

The local alternative weekly paper in Charlottesville is The Hook, and its online personal-ads site is called The Hook Cafe. Some time in early 2010, Chris posted a personal ad at the Cafe under the nickname "direct2sex," declaring that he "Need Sexy Sweets from Woman." As far as anyone can tell, no sexy sweets have been forthcoming.

The ad is one of the most blatant confirmations that Chris is no longer interested in "true love" and is now simply looking to get laid. This is not totally unexpected, as most of his followers have always believed that true honest love was merely a ruse to get sex, and that if Chris could get to the the hanky-panky without having to actually care about someone, he would do so in a heartbeat. Before the discovery of this profile, the clearest evidence of this was one of Chris's mailbag responses.

Of note are the differences between this and his previous dating profiles. Chris is apparently making an attempt at being a grown up, and as a result he neglects to mention Sonichu, his autism or the fact he's a twenty eight year old virgin. He also has started to specify a desire for women 21 years or older (but not older than himself, despite his pretty obvious desire for a mother-like figure in his potential mate). In the past he had been open to the idea of dating an 18 year old, despite the vast age difference, and really only stopped at that age for legal reasons.

This is not the first time Chris has posted a personal ad on the Hook Cafe. An earlier attempt, where Chris promoted himself as a "Handsome Virgin searching for Woman," fell victim to hackers around the beginning of 2009. Unfortunately, most of its original contents weren't preserved before the trolls gave it a makeover. It's the hacked version that's referred to in Chris's 20 January 2009 IRC chat.

(more...)