The Kevin and Bean Show Segment

The Kevin and Bean Show Segment is an 8 minute radio clip in which the hosts of the self-titled The Kevin and Bean Show on KROQ 106.7 FM in California find one of Chris's Captain's Logs and comment on it. For the most part of it, they are horrified; so horrified that they spend 2 and a half minutes playing "Viewer Discretion is Advised" warnings before they play the tape.

This clip is one of two radio segments that were aired about Christian Weston Chandler and his antics.

Transcript

Welcome to the show!

Presenter 1: --he's just a weird, geeky guy and he... [trails off] ...you're not usually a stellar choice, but tomorrow, you'll find out why it's 'Top Gun Day'. Apparently there's a new holiday joining the calender, guys, that we didn't know about. Top Gun Day.

Presenter 2: Hmmm...!

Presenter 1: Find out more about that, also actor Steve Zahn's gonna join us tomorrow. Look, uh, this video we're about to talk about is up at the Comedy section of unknown-dot-com. I'm wondering if this is a real guy, you know, a real geeky guy and he's speaking from the heart or if this is going to turn out to be the next "Borat". This is some sort of comedy genius and this is some kind of crazy character he's created. What do you guys think?

Presenter 2: Hold up one second.

Announcer 1: The reenactments and commentary in this program may contain frank talk of a sexual nature. Viewer discretion is advised. [First guy laughs during this]

Presenter 1: Alright, now that we got that in...

Presenter 2: H-Hold on.

Announcer 2:This program contains adult language and subject matter, viewer discretion is advised.

Presenter 1: Right, so he turns this...

Announcer 3: This dialog contains sexually explicit content. Viewer discretion is advised.

Presenter 1: He's a guy, who--

Announcer 4: These images are too shocking for young children.

Presenter 1: ---he's sitting, he's sitting---

Announcer 5: A warning: the following you're about to see and hear is explicit. Viewer discretion is advised.

Presenter 1: ---he's sitting in his room and he's describing things that he likes to do and I can't imagine-- I don't-- I can't put myself in the position of a guy who want to video tape this and put it up on the internet and know these sorts of things about him and I figure, there must be some other reason he's got.

Presenter 2: It sounds-- by the way, if he's an actor, then he's a genius.

Presenter 3: Yes.

Presenter 2: It sounds like he got some sort of response to videos that he has already video taped of himself and put up on online.

Presenter 1: He also has his own little YouTube channel.

Presenter 2: And he's developed a cult of people who can't believe what he's talking about. Yes.

Announcer 6: Parental discretion is advised.

Presenter 2: Alright, so, um, this is him...

Presenter 3: [Mumbles quickly. She laughs during this]

Presenter 1: Alright, here we go.

Announcer 7: If you have little children nearby and you allow them to listen to this conversation, you are a bad parent. A really bad parent. You are seriously [censored] up. You and your illegitimate kids and your bad judgement and whatnot.

Presenter 1: He's a little bit of an overweight guy with a receding hairline, he's wearin' the-y'know, the polo shirt, and he's in what looks like his bedroom with-it has to be dozens and dozens of action figures behind him. He looks like he'd be a sci-fi geek.

Presenter 2: He's not talking about sci-fi.

Presenter 1: He looks like he's in his late... twenties, maybe even thirty.

Presenter 3: Aging badly.

Presenter 1: Which makes it all the more disturbing.

Announcer 8: This program contains graphic images that may be disturbing to sensitive viewers. The people profiled all survived. Discretion is advised.

[The presenters all laugh]

Presenter 1: You won't wanna survive though after you hear it, here's the dude.

Playing the video

Chris: Captain's Log, uh, Stardate April 28th 2009.

Presenter 1: Anyone who starts with Captain's Log, Stardate...

Presenter 3: Yeah.

Presenter 2: You've got a guy who belives he's living on the bridge of the Enterprise.

Presenter 1: That's correct, yes.

Chris: Uhh... a-about... it's- it's a...good idea some-uhhh, if uh it's a good idea, but, uh.

Presenter 1: Now, he's referring to a video that he put up that people are questioning.

Presenter 3: Okay.

Presenter 1: They're saying, "Why would you do that?". So he's referring to- I think it's a good idea if it doesn't bother you, but if it does bother you, then you don't have to do it.

Presenter 2: What's he talking about?

Presenter 1: ... you'll find out.

Chris: You know you don't have to do it if you don't like it, but... I recycle my own [BEEP]. [The beeped word is 'semen', for you newfags and retards]

transcribed up to 3:19

Sauses

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtcJZPlQurw&feature=related

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