Love Quest

Chris' MySpace explains his retarded quest for a "boyfriend-free girl", and his stalking tendencies. In a nutshell, he's trying to date women, but fails tremendously. He specifies a "boyfriend-free girl" because apparently all the women he asked already had boyfriends. Chris claims to hate every other male other than himself and his father, because they took all the pretty girls leaving him with none to choose from.

You can imagine why they would say that when you realize what he does to find women. Despite being completely obsessed with the opposite gender, the stunning hilarious truth is that instead of trying to engage other human beings in normal social activity, his brilliant ideas of bringing the ladies running are:

• Pacing around a lot, playing his GBAVideo
• Shouting at walls, or "singing random songs from memory now and then"
• Sitting around at the mall with a homemade sign that reads "I am a

25-Year Old, Single Male, seeking a Boyfriend-Free, 18-25-year old, caring, smoke-free, non-alcoholic white Single Female Companion" with an ARROW POINTING TO HIM, expecting a woman with said characteristics to approach him and engage in conversation

His blog posts reveal that these are his exact tactics to attract female attention (he calls time thus spent as his "Attraction Time"). Given his success, it's obvious that the chicks sure love creepy sign-wearing 26 year olds shouting incoherently and watching SpongeBob on their GBAs. It's tactics like these that got him kicked out by mall security.

Keep in mind that autistics can't help being socially awkward, but Chris is not content to stick with his own kind so that he might actually have a fighting chance at spawning the grotesque offspring he so desires, but instead insists on forcing his attentions on normal women.

In 2003, Chris got jealous when his friend Sarah Hammer started dating Wes Iseli. This then inspired an issue in his comic featuring the "anchuent prophecy" and some other stuff intended to win over Sarah.

Mall

But after he failed Chris soon forgot about all that and set out to find a girl of his own, using his foolproof method of sitting around at the nearby mall with a sign proclaiming his desire for a " boyfriend-free girl". Soon, mall security took notice. They were branded "Jerkops" as they threw Chris out of the mall on several occasions. Chris was once even arrested (but charges were dropped). This forced Chris to come up with an alternative location for attracting female attention.

PVCC

Chris chose the library of PVCC as his next, sure-fire location. This incurred the wrath of the evil witch Mary Lee Walsh, who promptly tore up his sign and told him: "You won't find a girlfriend this way or any other way." OWNED. Chris then decided that the entire state of Virginia was trying to prevent him from obtaining a sweetheart (actually it was, it's in the Virginia State Constitution).

His comics had already featured scenes of Chris being oppressed by the Jerkops, but the encounter with Mary lee Walsh caused his comic to focus entirely on his love quest. Were it not for the fact that his original characters assisted him in combat, it's likely that they would have disappeared forever in favor of more IRL stuff.

Hanna

Chris was once trolled IRL during a love quest.

See Hanna.

Anna

Chris met his friend Anna McLarren on a love quest. She rejected his advances, blogged about it[1], but is now his friend.

See Anna McLerran.

Internet Love Quest

Chris has now taken his love quest to the internet, only to be trolled repeatedly, before finding true love with Sarah Cassandra McKenzie.

BUT FOR HOW LONG?