User:CaveJohnson

Britfag: Tito got no luck against this user, who is British.

STRAIGHT This user is STRAIGHT. The men like dykes and china while the women like pickles & balls. Unlike Chris, they don't mind da homos.

JERK This user is a JERK and takes away all the girls.

White This user is white and finds Chris's race relations embarrassing.

Troper This user would edit the CWCki, but is too busy browsing TV Tropes.

Ham This user is a HUMONGOUS HAM and enjoys the fine art of MELODRAMA!

Anti-userbox This user hates userboxes.

“

Greetings friend. I'm Cave Johnson, CEO of Aperture Science. You might know us as a vital participant of the 1968 senate hearing on missing astronauts, and you've most likely used one of the many products we invented but other people have somehow managed to steal from us. Black Mesa can eat my bankrupt-

”

“	When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!	”
CaveJohnson, CEO.