Church audio

On 15 March 2009, Robert Simmons V and an undercover Man in the Pickle Suit visit Chris's church and approach the manchild in the flesh unsuspectingly.

The audio recording of this event lasts 1:47:48. Throughout, Chris's voice is much louder than everyone else's.

Chris says he's keeping his distance from instant messages. He'd rather not talk about who hacked his Yahoo! account. Bob is there, but Chris reveals that Barbara usually stays home.

Chris excuses himself to leave Bob to talk to Robert for a few minutes. Bob talks about jerks on the internet, Chris's condition, and early video games. When Chris comes back, he realizes that it's funny both Bob and Robert have the same name.

Chris talks about Robert's trouble with finding a girlfriend. Chris has made the final decision to talk to local girls instead of ones on the internet. He's gotten encouragement from Rocky with How to Talk to Girls. He talked to 7 girls just last Thursday at Alderman Library, but got a fake number. Chris was emotionally prepared for the fake number from Seinfeld. Bob mentions the Sonichu Girls club.

Chris rambles on about Family Guy and Stewie quoting the bible against homosexuality. His copy of the bible with Leviticus is different from the church's because it was a graduation gift from Reverend Shin of the Korean church in Chesterfield County. Bob talks about North Korea.

After asking Robert for a pen, Chris makes his signature and hands it to Robert, saying it could be valuable one day.

They start reciting verses and singing hymns for many minutes. Chris gets to pick a verse for everyone to sing. Bob gets the second pick. Then other people pick. Chris wails over everyone else in some of them.

Afterward, Robert reunites with the other troll. They drive away contemplating on Leviticus and raping Emiry.

Transcript

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