Rob Bell

Rob Bell is Chris's defense attorney, hired after the events of 28 October 2011. According to a leaked email, Chris was introduced to Bell by his church.

Background

Bell was hired by Chris to represent him in the aftermath of the October 28 incident. Chris went into trial with the full expectation that his name would be cleared and that he would win glorious victory over his arch-nemesis, Michael Snyder:

“

Now mom and I each have our own courthouse dates. I'm sure mom will be only fined, but I have the worse of cases. Mom and I, we are certain I will be found not guilty; it was a case of a Deliberate Deception, with the "New Ownership" sign from Michael, and my falling for his trap. I later printed out the facts of Mike from the Cwcki that night, and I found the "CWC Michael Snyder Interview" video on YouTube, where the clown-faced troll called Mike; Michael Snyder CONFESSES to Wanting to lure me in and land me in jail with a "Pokemon Tournament on the 22nd".

”

The Trial

In his better judgment, Bell understood that Chris had an entirely indefensible case and proposed a sensible alternative: plea guilty and accept an effective slap on the wrist. Against Chris' worse judgment and possibly on the advice of Barb, Chris accepted this deal, and on July 2012, Chris and Barb were each handed a fine and a suspended sentence of thirty days in jail.

Bell referred to Chris as an "adult autistic child" in the course of the proceedings: while Chris took umbrage at this remark, it was probably the sole factor that granted him leniency in sentencing.

Despite getting Chris off scot-free in a professional and effective manner, Chris harbors a grudge against Bell for failing to stand up to Snyder in court, apparently failing to realize that even the best lawyer can't convince a jury you are innocent if the case is strong enough. In a rambling series of Facebook posts posted September 2, 2013, Chris blamed Rob Bell (as well as Michael Snyder, Megan, and Mary Lee Walsh) for his latest ban from Wal-Mart, calling him a "major wuss" for failing to work black magic that would convince a jury Chris was fully in the clear for running over a manager who rightfully banned an obnoxious manchild from his business.

“	Rob Bell has been a Major Wuss during the time he had Represented me and my mother in Court, and we had paid the thousands of dollars for his fees, which we would not have had to if it had not been for that God Damned Manajerk!!!	”
Chris, Facebook, September 2, 2013