User:SenorTucan

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A bored wondering nomadic internet person who stumbled upon the weirderful world of CWish-Chan

Bisexual Bisexual
This user is bisexual and likes both pickles and china. Simonchu would be so proud!
Chris Acting Black White
This user is white and finds Chris's race relations embarrassing.
American Flag Americunt: This user is an Americunt and refuses to use unnecessary vowels. Uncle Sam would be proud!
Transgendered Transgendered
This user is transgendered and would very much like to become the opposite sex. If Chris ever falls off the straight path, he'll join you.
Thorg Atheist
This user is a pizza-faced atheist and does not believe in God nor the Bear.
BLANK Hikikomori
This user should SUCK IT UP and DIVE RIGHT IN to the public scene.
Ass Burger Ass Burger
This user has Asperger's Syndrome and tries to take the Shine and Limelight away from True Autistics.
HAM! Ham
This user is a HUMONGOUS HAM and enjoys the fine art of MELODRAMA!
Sigmund Freud Armchair Psychologist
This user analyzes Chris's psyche WAAAY too much and should just accept that Chris is nothing more than a retard.
HEXBox HEXBox
This user is the proud owner of a HEXBox. Chris does not approve.


My thoughts of Chris

all quotes in bold & italicized come from this (the CWCki) Wiki plain vanilla italics texts are quotes and/or paraphrases from other sources.

Sonichu comics

Non episode thoughts

I just realized something, Chris believes that his comics and everything therein is real, every character is a real person that has a life.In his comics Chris has written the deaths and murders of HUNDREDS of people. Chris has KILLED PEOPLE and he doesn't seem to care. Sure Chris wouldn't do this in real life, but if Chris had control of his own country (he can't just have a city, because if his city was like that he would be in big trouble from the rest of the country) and was it's ruler, he would have people he didn't like kidnapped and killed, or gays forced into straight lifestyles. I'm glad chris is a loser, this person doesn't need power he can only do horrible things with it. Now I'm also willing to bet that chris doesn't actually believe that he killed real people in his comics, but he also believes that sonichu and the like are real. This would require chris-logic to explain, and I have none

Sonichu 0: Sub-Episode 1

"His enemy beaten, Chris decides to unleash his Special Ultimate Attack, the dreaded Curse-ye-ha-me-ha" Chris seems to have this things about adding injury to insult (and yes, being beaten by a sonic-ripoff/manchild is an insult). It's bad enough that I beat you in a fight, but I must curse you too/it's bad enough that I took your girlfriend, but I must shoot you in the leg too. (there are more examples of this, the Jackie E-mails come to mind). chris has to make sure that he gets the final laugh, the final say. And that final say must keep the other person from retaliation because if the other person retaliated, Chris might have to, you know, think and work for a reply. And Chris doesn't want that because that means he failed, his great plan didn't work as he wanted. (like it usually does, because he can't get it in his head that people don't think like he does; rather hypocritical since he complains that being autistic, he can't read minds and that everyone should know that and stop expecting him to actually try to understand people).

"The Jerkhief initially feels no adverse effect and rises to fight back, but the curse soon sets in; he slips on a banana peel, breaks his glasses, and learns that his wife has just divorced him over his smoking habit." Chris here pretty much shows himself as being the forth in his idea of the holy trinity. He has the power to bend the free will of others to his own liking, he made a banana peel spontaneously come into existence (he also thinks his stomach is directly connected to his C-Sack, but that's another story). Chris probably likens himself to a god.

"The Jerkhief's life is shattered, and Chris makes sure the broken man understands that his has reaped what he sowed. The Jerkhief cries that his soul hurts; Chris callously responds that he's suffered worse... " Chris likes to claim that his autism keeps him from understanding people... I call bullshit with a capitol B. I know someone with autism, worse than Chris's. But even she understands what it would feel like, part of it is imagination. Imagining being in the other person's shoes, But Chris can't do this, because he has no imagination. The other part is dropping your ego. Where you have to let go of how you feel towards that person, or any situation you yourself is going through, and see with neutral eyes. Chris can't do this either since to him, everything bad that happens to him is more important and worse than anything else someone is going through lost your wife and broke your glasses? well that's too bad, I was mildly inconvenienced by someone doing their job. I wouldn't be surprised when he heard of the disasters in New Orleans/Haiti/(recent large disaster here) and thought "that's nothing, I got trolled and got no china yet, I have it much worse *virgin rage*"

And by life, I mean life as a virgin

Sonichu 8: Episode 17

A Sonichu's penis and testicles reside entirely within its abdominal cavity. While the testicles are permanently contained behind a "bone-like structure" for protection, the penis can emerge for urination or intercourse when the Sonichu leans forward, causing the erect penis to "slide out" purely by gravitational force. This presumably means Sonichu must be erect in order to urinate. Now I haven't seen the page that shows this (yet), but It's obvious to me that this fulfills two things for Chris (since being a sonichu is what he wants to be). One, Chris thinks that if his duck had a pocket to hid in, instead of getting bent in his 3 sizes too small pants over his 3 sizes too small underwear. And this allows him to always be on top when it comes to sexy time. I think with Chris, Sex time is the only time in the house in which a man should be the top, and every other time in the house the woman is the one doing the duties (because he's old fashioned, but then again, he doesn't realize a house woman/business man system only works if the man fucking has a job)

Chris And...

Chris and writing

I find it odd that I'm currently reading "House of Leaves" and it's easier to follow than the Sonichu comics... I'm not joking.

More Like OH MY CHRIS

Chris and Sex

Coming soon after some consultation...

Chris and tolerance

Something about Chris's hate for homos really bugs me. Gay men wont take women, more gay men, more women for Chris. But he's fine with lesbians, but that's bad since more lesbians means less women for Chris. Of course I'm betting chris says that so other women wont think of him as a bigot... durr! But what I'm getting at, Chris wants a woman but hates jerks that get HIS women. But he wants to get rid of men who wont get his women, wants more women that wont go out with him. Asexual are an interesting thing too, I doubt Chris gives a shit about asexual men, but as long as there are Asexual men, there's going to be Asexual women. A question to anyone who reads this, has Chris ever claimed that homosexuality is unnatural? If he did, I will LAUGH!

Emily

Post-date conversation transcript

"Chris: Umm. Well, this is the, uh... Well, uh, all I can say is, uh, I’m sorry about if you feel—if you feel—if I--that if I mistreated you, and, uh, somewhat, if you—if you felt like I, uh, did wrong." Really Chris? Really? You make a person feel uncomfortable, and instead of growing a pair, you shift the blame away (because your stupid fucking ego can't handle it). You blame the other person for feeling uncomfortable! I guess it's your fault that all those ads on your stupid wiki make you feel like you're going to die, and you know what? you deserve feeling that every time you let your childish mind connect pickles to dicks and homosexuality, you deserve it you egocentric twat! You deserve every ounce of pain every troll has squeezed out of you. BECAUSE IT'S YOUR FAULT THAT YOU FEEL THAT WAY! no one trolls you Chris. You troll yourself. You hurt yourself, and what's sad is that, you really do hurt yourself when you don't look back and learn from your dumb mistakes. You hurt yourself when you shift all the blame away from you, and make it everyone's (everyone but you that is) fault. Which, when you think about it... Chris is right... but not in the way he thinks, because he can't think of being the cause of anything bad.

Emails

Autism Awareness E-mails

Second, I DISAGREE, and I personally DO NOT CARE FOR "Aspergers" BAW BAW BAW REALITY SHOULD BE CONTROLLED BY ME!!!! People think Aspergers should STEAL the Reputation that Autism has earned over the number of years;'' What people? damn chris you are paranoid as FUCK! And I do not give a c*** about what "Scientists" may or may not have found there either. IN MY VIEW, Aspergers IS NOT Autism. yeah fuck scientists, it's not like they study this shit... oh wait, they do. oh hell, even if they do it doesn't matter, they disagree WITH ME BAW BAW BAW! Chris, for dissing science and scientists, turn off your computer and live in a forest you hypocrite!

Videos

Animal Crossing Documentary

"He also expresses his distaste for the Playstation 2 and the Playstation" Motherfucker (no pun intended) just made it PERSONAL!!!

100 2178

"And it all just went downhill. I bet, even Greene County had something to do with influencing that goddamn Michael Snyder to see f- to see any... so recourse... or... anything like that to make him pretend to have a reason to kick me out, quote-unquote "scaaaaring his customers away!" [Flips off the camera]You goddamn, greedy... Snyder! " And with this, I fear my suspicions of Chris true. No longer is he an egotistical twat. but a conspiracy theorist to boot. Not satisfied with just simply noting that nothing bad is his fault, he is now trying to make connections everywhere, he is forcing pieces to fit because he needs pieces to fit. If you think I'm taking this too far, think about this. Conspiracy Theorists tend to work with a "with me/against me" attitude, and the "with me" group is a TRUE and HONEST bunch of people that likes everything the Theorist likes. the "against me" is a huge evil government/Illuminati group that works together to push the Theorist down, and if anyone so much as looks at the Theorist the wrong way, s/he is part of that huge evil group, there is no middle ground. Basically, to Chris, you're a TRUE/HONEST sonichu fan... or someone who works for ED/4cent/Greene county/Michael Snyder/etc. And the evil people are the ones who make excuses, or stop Chris from his HONEST work. Evil woman who takes away his signs of attraction. Evil Jerkops and such that run him away from their stores (and huge straws). Evil women who make excuses for not fucking dating Chris. Boyfriends who take away potential china pretty girlfriends. Michael, who is a troll, why? He made up excuses so Chris can't do what he wants. Of course the world is out to get Chris, all he has now are sonichu fans and his parents.

TL;DRChris pretty much the very model of a modern conspiracy nut. He connects dots no where near each other. uses confirmation bias out the ass. projects himself onto others. and acts like the people he loathes. hell, according to this quote from the other wiki "Hofstadter also noted that "sexual freedom" is a vice frequently attributed to the conspiracist's target group, noting that "very often the fantasies of true believers reveal strong sadomasochistic outlets, vividly expressed, for example, in the delight of anti-Masons with the cruelty of Masonic punishments." and we know Chris sure loves killing people who have done him wrong. And that's not mentioning his Denial and dancing around subjects he doesn't like to talk about. so with my argument presented, agree with me, or I'll make a drawing of you being killed, you evil greedy Snyder fan.

EDIT I don't know why I didn't see this before, Chris is just repeating what bob is saying, chris can't think up this shit. And chris is such a gullible dumbkopf for just swallowing bob's big conspiracy whole.

05142010

OH MY GOD! I think I barfed in my mouth. He used the death of another person to get sympathy. Is this the new norm Chris? are you going to watch the news, take the worst story, make a video of you going "something happened, I HAVE AUTISM AND PITY ME BECAUSE I'M GOOD". You make me sick Chris, you damned news whore! Sure, I guess he's subconsciously became attached to the story because of the subject matter (boo hoo, one less china in the world, unless Chrissy really stoops). But damnit Chris, whoring dead people so you can cry out "BUT I HAVE IT WORSE". I hope you die Chris, then you can whine about how bad life is for you.

Misc.

Chris catching the fairer sex

I find it odd and very stupid that chris spends time observing women to see what they like so he can get one (if it's possible, think of the hula hoop at FAF), but he doesn't look at other men to see what they wear, what they act like, how they dance, etc. Chris seems to take a short cut "if I just have one thing in common with her, we become friends, and then BOOM! china!" rather than the correct way "If I look respectable and act respectable, then a woman might find me interesting." (but that means spending money on good clothes, having to actually talk to people on subjects other than VIDYA GAYMS AN TROLLS AN DUCKS AN CHINA, and it might take more than a month to get to the third date, and even then, she might say "no thanks, I'll wait before we do the hanky panky") Of course he might also not do the longer way because to him, women are shallow and having a few things in common is all that matters, as long as she gets happy with his dick and has cash to shop for shoes (chris's woman needs to be fresh from the shop remember).