Difference between revisions of "Template:Article of the now"

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[[Image:Thetugboatposter.jpg|200px|right]]
[[File:CPU Blue Heart Real.png|250px|right]]


The '''monthly tugboat''' is [[Chris]]'s [[CWC-isms|euphemism]] for his {{w|Social Security Disability Insurance}} (SSDI) payment, which is deposited into his bank account via direct deposit on or about the 3rd of each month. SSDI is part of a U.S. taxpayer-supported program to support financially those whose physical injures or [[Slow-in-the-minds|mental ailments]] prevent them from performing even minimum-wage work. Chris is known to have belonged to this system since at least [[2007]], before he was [[Chris in the media#Something Awful|discovered]] by the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]].
In [[March 2026]], ''Hyperdimension Neptunia'' announced a new game set for August, which introduces new official characters. Among those are '''CPU Blue Heart''' Ciel of Lastation (a reference to [[Sony]]), with a backstory contradicting Chris's lore. An upset Chris took to spamming the Twitter feeds of official accounts promoting ''Neptunia'' as well as accounts of fans approving of Ciel's design. In his tweets, Chris angrily claimed himself the real Blue Heart and attempted to convince ''Neptunia'' to change Ciel's title.


Contrary to popular belief, Chris's check is not need-based, but is awarded on eligibility alone. Most US Americans have to work a decade to qualify. Chris, on the other hand, has only been employed for six months (three at [[Wendy's]], three in a [[Cutco|pyramid scheme]]). However, [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] earned retirement insurance in his years at General Electric, and Social Security also lets retirees' dependent disabled children get payments, even if they have never worked themselves, so long as they were disabled before turning 22. As long as Chris earns less than $1220 a month, and stays unmarried and [[Chris and the law|out of prison]], he will continue to receive his monthly tugboat unimpeded.
According to Chris, CPU Blue Heart (also known as Scarlett Celestia and later Scarlet LaRose) is the [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|Console Patron Unit]] Goddess of the Nations of [[CWCville]] and Comma, and of the [[Commodore|Commodore Consoles]]. Conceived by Chris after being force-fed ''Hyperdimension Neptunia'' lore by the [[Idea Guys]], Scarlett serves as one of his escapist alter egos, providing a [[coping|coping mechanism]] and enabling his [[messiah complex]]. Through this alter ego, Chris has also emerged as the figurehead of the [[Dimensional Merge]], with his own [[Enablers|group of "worshippers"]].


('''[[Monthly Tugboat|More...]]''')
('''[[CPU Blue Heart|More...]]''')

Latest revision as of 10:11, 1 April 2026

CPU Blue Heart Real.png

In March 2026, Hyperdimension Neptunia announced a new game set for August, which introduces new official characters. Among those are CPU Blue Heart Ciel of Lastation (a reference to Sony), with a backstory contradicting Chris's lore. An upset Chris took to spamming the Twitter feeds of official accounts promoting Neptunia as well as accounts of fans approving of Ciel's design. In his tweets, Chris angrily claimed himself the real Blue Heart and attempted to convince Neptunia to change Ciel's title.

According to Chris, CPU Blue Heart (also known as Scarlett Celestia and later Scarlet LaRose) is the Console Patron Unit Goddess of the Nations of CWCville and Comma, and of the Commodore Consoles. Conceived by Chris after being force-fed Hyperdimension Neptunia lore by the Idea Guys, Scarlett serves as one of his escapist alter egos, providing a coping mechanism and enabling his messiah complex. Through this alter ego, Chris has also emerged as the figurehead of the Dimensional Merge, with his own group of "worshippers".

(More...)

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