Difference between revisions of "Template:Article of the now"

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A '''Sweetheart''' (sometimes '''heartsweet''') is [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s flavor-of-the-month. Chris's goal is to build a [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]], lose his dreaded [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] [[Mia Hamm|(which he ultimately accomplished without a sweetheart)]], and spawn his God-chosen daughter, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] (named after "[[Honor roll|the illustrious metal]]" and [[Chris and his Ego|a name similar to his own]]). Unfortunately for him, the plan hasn't progressed beyond a handful of troll-engineered dates, a trip to a hooker (two in fact), and [[Affair with Mother|having sex with his mother]]. Thus the ''sweetheart'' label finds itself frivolously applied, indicating a status that lies somewhere between "e-girlfriend" and "stalking victim." Contrast this with Chris's [[Gal-Pals]]; that is, all of those girls who are still potential sweethearts because they are known to Chris and don't appear to hate him.
In [[March 2026]], ''Hyperdimension Neptunia'' announced a new game set for August, which introduces new official characters. Among those are '''CPU Blue Heart''' Ciel of Lastation (a reference to [[Sony]]), with a backstory contradicting Chris's lore. An upset Chris took to spamming the Twitter feeds of official accounts promoting ''Neptunia'' as well as accounts of fans approving of Ciel's design. In his tweets, Chris angrily claimed himself the real Blue Heart and attempted to convince ''Neptunia'' to change Ciel's title.


Chris's ideal vision for a sweetheart is more or less one that allowed him to continue living as a "self-employed" stay-at-home husband/father/son, since he didn't make a significant effort to support a prospective family at any point during his [[Love Quest]] aside from briefly applying for a minimum-wage job for [[Kacey]]. Based on [[Chris and work|his frustration at the idea of doing any work whatsoever]], it's likely that he wanted someone to effectively mother him rather than an equal partner, who he could also have sex with and impregnate with [[Crystal Weston Chandler|a kid]] [[Reginald Chandler|or two]]. Chris also seemed to be under the impression that they'd live with his parents [[14 Branchland Court|and their hoard]], who he'd presumably leave his sweetheart-to-be to raise his kids with.
According to Chris, CPU Blue Heart (also known as Scarlett Celestia and later Scarlet LaRose) is the [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|Console Patron Unit]] Goddess of the Nations of [[CWCville]] and Comma, and of the [[Commodore|Commodore Consoles]]. Conceived by Chris after being force-fed ''Hyperdimension Neptunia'' lore by the [[Idea Guys]], Scarlett serves as one of his escapist alter egos, providing a [[coping|coping mechanism]] and enabling his [[messiah complex]]. Through this alter ego, Chris has also emerged as the figurehead of the [[Dimensional Merge]], with his own [[Enablers|group of "worshippers"]].


('''[[Sweetheart|More...]]''')
('''[[CPU Blue Heart|More...]]''')

Latest revision as of 10:11, 1 April 2026

CPU Blue Heart Real.png

In March 2026, Hyperdimension Neptunia announced a new game set for August, which introduces new official characters. Among those are CPU Blue Heart Ciel of Lastation (a reference to Sony), with a backstory contradicting Chris's lore. An upset Chris took to spamming the Twitter feeds of official accounts promoting Neptunia as well as accounts of fans approving of Ciel's design. In his tweets, Chris angrily claimed himself the real Blue Heart and attempted to convince Neptunia to change Ciel's title.

According to Chris, CPU Blue Heart (also known as Scarlett Celestia and later Scarlet LaRose) is the Console Patron Unit Goddess of the Nations of CWCville and Comma, and of the Commodore Consoles. Conceived by Chris after being force-fed Hyperdimension Neptunia lore by the Idea Guys, Scarlett serves as one of his escapist alter egos, providing a coping mechanism and enabling his messiah complex. Through this alter ego, Chris has also emerged as the figurehead of the Dimensional Merge, with his own group of "worshippers".

(More...)

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