Vanessa AIM Chat 6

Vanessa AIM Chat 6 is the sixth chat between Chris and Joshua Martinez, an old acquaintance pretending to be Vanessa Hudgens. It took place on 21 April 2009.

Summary

This chat opens with Chris talking about his previous arrests. He reveals that it was Ivy's idea to draw her dad as Coach McGuirk. He talks more about God and Jesus telling him about Ivy being the one. If she has a son, she'll name him Reginald. He claims to know a little karate and that he's so strong that he can lift his office chair with an object on it. Amazingly, he admits that Josh could probably beat him in karate, saying that the beating he would receive makes him want to cry.

Transcript

[Robotnik's Note: I was almost not going to post this due to lack of lulz, then towards the end when he starts acting tough and talks about how attractive he is I decided it had to be posted.]

ChrisChanSonichu (11:33:45 PM): she's okay. but now she's giving me a mean-eye; your bodyguards did a background check on me, with my run-ins with the police.
Joshua (11:33:57 PM): yeah
Joshua (11:34:53 PM): they do alot of background check alot bc they care for me
ChrisChanSonichu (11:35:38 PM): I understand.
ChrisChanSonichu (11:35:49 PM): I just typed up what happened with the police to Emily.
ChrisChanSonichu (11:36:04 PM): would you like to know too?
Joshua (11:36:10 PM): sure
ChrisChanSonichu (11:36:20 PM): This was in my EARLIER days of my Sweetheart Search Years Ago; I got handcuffed for "solicitation" and "loitering"; my attraction method for finding women was a sign stating that I was a single male, seeking a boyfriend-free woman. I learned a year or two later from my mother's words that having the sign by my side made me look retarded, and gave a possible impression of selling sex, which was NOT the case.
Joshua (11:36:56 PM): oh
Joshua (11:37:49 PM): yeah emily very cute girl
ChrisChanSonichu (11:38:42 PM): Ivy is a beautiful girl too. Next time you talk to Harleen, or I meet you (whichever comes first), you may ask Harleen about Ivy; they were close friends.
ChrisChanSonichu (11:39:16 PM): she may also confidentially share a picture with you, if I don't first.
Joshua (11:39:27 PM): ok
ChrisChanSonichu (11:39:54 PM): yesterday was our 2-month anniversary since we started talking to each other on the phones.
ChrisChanSonichu (11:40:08 PM): I sent her a fun animated greeting e-card
ChrisChanSonichu (11:40:38 PM): and I'm going to create a new music video for her, where the story is a fantasy wedding between me and her.
Joshua (11:41:45 PM): oh ic
Joshua (11:42:29 PM): you should send emily some pic's of you
ChrisChanSonichu (11:42:42 PM): the new video was her idea, and I delightfully agreed to it; she e-mailed me some of her details for the wedding. She wanted me to redraw "Home Movies"' Coach McGuirk for her father. :D
ChrisChanSonichu (11:43:12 PM): I tried; she is not using an AOL client that can receive files on the AIM, or even in e-mail to her AIM address.
Joshua (11:45:55 PM): Have you try Sex on the Beach?
Joshua (11:48:30 PM): ??
ChrisChanSonichu (11:48:44 PM): I'm sorry; I just accidentally angered Emily.
ChrisChanSonichu (11:50:30 PM): She said that after I made up for missing y'all with lunch next tuesday, she'll do something for me; I misunderstood and said a wrong thing with no intention of harm.
ChrisChanSonichu (11:50:34 PM): :(
Joshua (11:50:48 PM): ok
Joshua (11:51:08 PM): well you need to be nice
ChrisChanSonichu (11:54:36 PM): that's not easy to think up on the spot, but I just explained how I can relate to how she feels about my mistake.
Joshua (11:54:49 PM): k
Joshua (11:54:58 PM): you have a mic?
ChrisChanSonichu (11:55:05 PM): yeah, but hang on for a bit.
Joshua (11:55:18 PM): say sorry to her on the mic
Joshua (11:58:13 PM): she's very Sexy
ChrisChanSonichu (11:59:35 PM): I'm sure of that, but I'm just confiding in her about a piece of my past with encyclopedia dramatica.
Joshua (11:59:44 PM): ok
Joshua (12:06:17 AM): so what you think about emily?
ChrisChanSonichu (12:06:50 AM): she's a good girl.
ChrisChanSonichu (12:07:35 AM): she is understanding of my past situation, and I think she's feeling empathetic for me too.
Joshua (12:07:48 AM): kool
Joshua (12:10:37 AM): so ask me something you think Ivy is the 1 for you?
Joshua (12:11:15 AM): ?
ChrisChanSonichu (12:11:58 AM): God told me so in his own words, and I've told you the true story about the previous music video and my fixed biological clock.
Joshua (12:13:18 AM): if you amd Ivy have a girl what would u Name it?
ChrisChanSonichu (12:13:23 AM): Crystal
Joshua (12:13:27 AM): if it was a Boy?
Joshua (12:13:33 AM): i mean the whole name
ChrisChanSonichu (12:13:34 AM): Reginald, or her choice.
ChrisChanSonichu (12:13:41 AM): girl: Crystal Weston Chandler
ChrisChanSonichu (12:14:06 AM): boy, Reginald (her choice for middle name and/or different first name) Chandler.
ChrisChanSonichu (12:14:44 AM): Crystal is just a pretty name, and I have had NUMEROUS DREAMS where I had my daughter in my arms, and her name was always Crystal Weston Chandler.
Joshua (12:17:55 AM): so i heard you know Karate?
ChrisChanSonichu (12:17:55 AM): I just finished talking to Emily; she's cool with me again; it is scheduled for a second attempt next tuesday.
ChrisChanSonichu (12:17:59 AM): a bit
ChrisChanSonichu (12:18:51 AM): meeting in the Cafeteria/Ballroom building. Let's plan on meeting in front of the Ballroom entrance, just down the hall from the info desk on the 2nd floor.
ChrisChanSonichu (12:19:27 AM): I can do a karate kick and chop, but I don't consider myself a blackbelt.
ChrisChanSonichu (12:19:29 AM): :)
Joshua (12:20:33 AM): so you think you good as Joshua?
ChrisChanSonichu (12:21:50 AM): he's probably better than me at karate, but I am strong. I can lift my office chair in my room over my head, even with a moderately heavy object in the seat.
ChrisChanSonichu (12:22:05 AM): the chair alone is Heavy.
Joshua (12:23:31 AM): so why dont you try Karate on Joshua
Joshua (12:23:33 AM): ?
ChrisChanSonichu (12:24:08 AM): I don't want to accidentally hurt him; I am a peaceful-type gentleman.
ChrisChanSonichu (12:24:21 AM): but I can put up a good defense and offense when provoked.
Joshua (12:25:27 AM): so you think Joshua can beat you in Karate?
ChrisChanSonichu (12:25:39 AM): most likely. lol
ChrisChanSonichu (12:25:57 AM): but even I would be surprised if I could even pin him down.
ChrisChanSonichu (12:26:03 AM): he's slightly taller than me.
Joshua (12:26:21 AM): that dont mean nothing
ChrisChanSonichu (12:26:33 AM): I see that.
ChrisChanSonichu (12:26:59 AM): but, yeah, I honestly think he would beat up my ass if he wanted to.
Joshua (12:27:05 AM): would you like too try it on Joshua?
ChrisChanSonichu (12:27:29 AM): IDK, maybe.
Joshua (12:28:09 AM): ask him
Joshua (12:28:15 AM): you should try
ChrisChanSonichu (12:30:05 AM): I guess. lol but I feel kinda shy about it.
Joshua (12:32:07 AM): well try it om Joshua this week
ChrisChanSonichu (12:32:22 AM): next time I see him, I'll ask.
Joshua (12:32:43 AM): he's gona say yes bc i know him really well
Joshua (12:34:05 AM): what gona happen if you get ur ass kicked?
ChrisChanSonichu (12:35:19 AM): hopefully I won't be hurt soo bad I would require an ambulance, but I'd probably cry and weep from the pain for a short moment to a while.
ChrisChanSonichu (12:35:58 AM): but I have handled the heaviest of emotional pain, and I have expirenced a dose of physical pain too.
ChrisChanSonichu (12:36:02 AM): a good dose
ChrisChanSonichu (12:37:26 AM): between being pinned down by the Nathanel Greene Elementary school staff in the 4th grade, being handcuffed and dragged, having my head rubbed vigorously on a carpet to make me shed bloddy tears.
Joshua (12:41:04 AM): ur wanny try it see how good you are?
ChrisChanSonichu (12:41:36 AM): alright; a later time I see him, I'll ask him.
Joshua (12:42:31 AM): so how you know ur Karate?
ChrisChanSonichu (12:42:43 AM): learned it from television mostly.
ChrisChanSonichu (12:42:45 AM): and movies
Joshua (12:43:19 AM): so that makes you good from watching it?
ChrisChanSonichu (12:44:15 AM): anyway, I have published a set of 8 questions on Sonichu, and 8 on myself. I'm not saying, but I have actually tried my karate in high school while I was in the gym, and in the lavatory so I don't have to touch the handle with my hands.
ChrisChanSonichu (12:46:28 AM): after we meet, I will let you watch my crazy nudie audition you requested, as well as my test of strength.
ChrisChanSonichu (12:46:41 AM): those were on the CD-R.
Joshua (12:48:18 AM): if joshua kick ur ass so bad and mess you face up how ur gona feel about it?
Joshua (12:48:41 AM): ??
Joshua (12:48:45 AM): just wounder
ChrisChanSonichu (12:49:43 AM): A SHITLOAD OF PAIN, Physical, and Emotional; I would feel like my face is not as nice as it looks now, or before then, and that I would probably look like a hideous beast no woman would ever want. :(
ChrisChanSonichu (12:50:14 AM): I feel like I could cry just imagining that... :_(

[Chat ends]

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