User:16BitAlex

It all started when I was surfing TVTropes one day, and came across a page for Sonichu. I thought "how bad could it get?" While the comic was lousy enough, Chris's life is better than any TV show. Sadly, that TVTropes page is gone now.

One little note: The one time I went to the Pokémon Trading Card League, it was at the Books-A-Million that Chris volunteered at. I know that Chris worked the place at the time I went, because it was before the Neo (Gold and Silver) series cards. I only remembered getting gypped out of my Zapdos in a lousy trade and then losing to a creative player that kept bending the rules, and neither involved Chris.

My project, Chris-Chan: Rock Band : User:16BitAlex/Chris-Chan Rock Band

It's sad that I don't even have anything resembling experience to put on a resume, or even a driver's license. However, I have a reason for both. I am in college on practically a full scholarship (meaning a job would be an obstacle to my study and play), and I was too young to take driver's ed the year it was offered. I am still searching for a job, though. Unfortunately, no experience, so I'm resorting to listing former teachers as references, like Chris did. So, instead of making dating education mandatory, I would make a part time job and a driver's license necessary for graduation.

Of all of Chris's sweethearts and gal-pals, I think Ivy was the prettiest, going by both the drawings of her and the photographs that were supposedly of her in "Boyfriend". I love red hair. On the flip side, JULAAAY! was by far the least attractive.

Oh, and I was the one who rediscovered the Pastebin containing the Kacey date recently. Thanks to whoever mirrored it.

Chris connections

We both:

• are fans of Sonic, Pokémon, and Guitar Hero
• went to Chesterfield County Public Schools
  • failed English in 10th grade only to make honor roll status upon graduation
• have a link to Leonard Bearstein. He gave Chris his name, I had a teddy bear of him when I was younger
• are out of shape, though I'm much less out of shape than he is.
• hate a certain food. Him, pickles. Me, apples.

Major differences

• Chris struggles to play Guitar Hero on Hard Guitar, ignores Bass, and probably would fail out of even Easy Vocals. (I don't know what difficulty he plays drums on). Meanwhile, I play Expert Guitar/Bass, Hard Vocals, and Hard Drums, and am quickly progressing through Expert Drums.
• He's on PS3, and his music game of choice is Guitar Hero. I'm on Hex-Box, and I prefer Rock Band.
• Like Liquid, I play the real guitar. Unlike Liquid, I play mostly electric.

RuleCWC forum

My days are numbered. Apparently, PVCC doesn't like competition.

Userboxes

Asian This user is an Asian and loves random-access humor and martial arts!!

Ass Burger This user has Asperger's Syndrome and tries to take the Shine and Limelight away from True Autistics.

STRAIGHT This user is STRAIGHT. The men like dykes and china while the women like pickles & balls. Unlike Chris, they don't mind da homos.

Virgin with rage Like Chris, this user feels lonely, and is currently looking for a Boyfriend-free girl, or possibly a Girlfriend-free boy.

God Complex This user has a God Complex and believes that you should get on your knees now.

Americunt: This user is an Americunt and refuses to use unnecessary vowels. Uncle Sam would be proud!

Observer This user is taking it Easy. They have followed Chris-Chan's movements, but hasn't contributed to the trolling efforts.

Because of the first three, I'm the fourth. After all, why would any girl settle for an Asian man with Asperger's when they can have a neurotypical (and therefore genius) white or black man? Another obstacle is my restrictions on potential sweethearts, somewhat similar to Chris: natural blonde or red hair, non-brown eyes (the first two by default excluding minority women), not too much older than me, not a hambeast, etc. I would not exclude a minority woman from being a friend, but she would be permanently friend zone.

The big difference is that I don't want children, or at least my own, unlike Chris and his dream of fathering Crystal. I would not want to saddle my kids with an increased risk of autism, lest my kids end up being the next Chris, trolled by your superior neurotypical kids.

In fact, I am all for aborting autistic babies. Since it is unethical to kill a living autistic, we must do the next best thing and prevent the birth of any more. Since a brain that comes out wrong is very hard to fix, this is the only way to truly cure autism.