SingStar Challenge
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Ongoing
The things described in this article are still happening, or are still being looked into. As a result, it may be subject to frequent change, and the information provided may not be entirely reliable.
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CWC Challenge is a video competition between Chris and CChanSonichuCWC to determine who is the real CWC.
Because Chris is too much of a pussy to challenge CChanSonichuCWC to a proper duel like a Southern gentleman, he has opted instead for a singing competition, like Southern homosexuals.
Happily, CWC couldn't have chosen a worse medium to duel through, as he is so tone deaf he doesn't even realise that he is tone deaf. Chris believes his singing voice has "a Frank Sinatra or Bing Crosby flavor"[1], so he seems to believe that he's a shoe-in to win.
Da Rules
Because it's totally fair that Chris gets to set the rules to a competition he's competing in without even asking his opponent if the terms are acceptable, Chris laid out in great detail the rules of engagement:
| Rules between The Original, Patriotic C.W.C. and the Brown-Striped Impostor C.W.C.
-One Song At A Time from our individual Playlists. ***Failure to comply by ANY of these Rules at ANY time during the competition shall be Disqualified, and the Last Player Sung shall be Named the Winner Forever.. My List of Judges will be Noted by their YouTube Handle on My First Song for the Competition; I ask the man in brown to list his Judges' Handles on his First Video.. The DEADLINE for His First Video and Judge Selection will be Wednesday, August 5 at 12:00 NOON, EST.. Game On! |
Even to the slow in the minds it's clear that several rules contradict themselves immeadiately, such as not being allowed karaoke equipment but being allowed to play the song itself in the background. This still hasn't stopped Chris from stuffing up.
Video
Transcript
| Hi, Christian, Mr. Brown-Striped Impostor, since you have been able to accept and complete my question challenges, it is time to issue a new challenge. I challenge you in a SingStar competition. The rules are simple. We are to each pick one song out of our libraries, our own playlists, and sing them verbatim with out any printed lyrics and with out any karaoke. 'Quipment.
(picks up camera) And I will show you right now how fair I am. My room lay out. (pans around his overstuffed with junk room) No karaoke equipment what so ever. (camera returns to Chris in frame) [sigh] And if it-and also we must have the mp3s played behind us, so therefore no musical instruments its so-what so ever in any video. And... only... in song number five, no song before, we [sigh] will allow each other to pick one song and challenge the other with that song. And the deadline for each uh, up, each uploaded song is etsa-approximately 24 hours from the previous one. So your song number one will, the deadline for that will be 24 hours after I upload and p-start my first st-song. [sigh] So, with that we will soon be commencing with the first track, "Sonic Boom" [holds up "Sonic CD" cover] (jump cut) And with that I will be showing you my lil lay out (camera once again turns to Chris's crap laden room) my speakers over there, (camera moves to show some Lego bricks) my camera will sit here (camera moves back to Chris) the only thing that I ask anotherly, anotherly in this, no separate microphones but only the microphones on our webcamps. [holds up a mirror to reflect the camera] (jump cut to Chris setting down the camera facing his bed and sits down into frame) (jump cut to Chris once again holding the camera on himself making the last jump cut meaningless) Oh, I forgot one thing, you may use your mp3 player of choice. My PSP is mine, attached to my speakers. (Chris once again sets down the camera) You may show me yours in your first video, Mr. Christian. (jump cut) Any mutiny against the rules I have set forth in this video will be [sigh] [dramatic glasses removal] not countable. And you will have to do it all over again. (jump cut to Chris throwing his glasses) And so with that (jump cut to Chris removing his vest and throwing it behind him) [starting to remove square medallion] Ow! [removes square medalion, holds it up to the camera to read: The Good Life) [starts to shave goatee dry] [after 11 seconds the head comes off the razor, Chris reattaches it and continues shaving then sets razor down] (jump cut) [one second into new scene razor head falls off again, Chris reattaches again and continues to shave until goatee is mostly gone] (jump cut) (jump cut) -rst thing, no imported music. Which means no Japanese, no Spanish, no German, no odd country language. Only English. Shame, would loved to play "Sailor Star" or "Flame Sniper" [makes motion as if getting ready to fire an arrow from a bow] (jump cut) And also, once a song hass been sung, of that specific title, from that specific band, it will not be reusable in a future song. Neither by you, neither by me. Abide by the rules. (jump cut) [Chris is once again holding the razor] Game on. Abrey la contesta! |
Round 1
Chris
Chris uploaded his first challenge video on 31 July 2009. The entry is the ending version of "Sonic Boom", from Sonic the Hedgehog CD.
Video
I PRESSED PLAY
On 01 August 2009, Chris addresses accusations that he cheated in his Round 1 video.
Video
Transcript
To prove a point in response to some of the ba-(video skips) thing commentaries in the backround of my first song in my own contest. Thinkin' of me breakin the rules, dare you?
Well I will show you wrong. Look at this, exact same set up. Remember, the PSP right here, and I reached back for the remote attached to the PSP?
(Flashback to Chris starting his first song)
Let me show you a close up Zoom in view!
(Scrolls through PSP)
And... Through the remote. THE remote. And to the mini-system over there.
Get the picture Einsteins! So back the fuck off. Nobody is breaking any rules. The challenge is on. The start date is Wednsday, August 5th. His due date for his video is 24 hours after noon on Wednsday, August 5th.
Good day.
CChanSonichuCWC
Video
CChanSonichuCWC uploaded his video on August 1st, 2009. He appropriately sings "You're Pitiful" by Weird Al Yankovic.
Transcript
Hello Impostor, I accept your challenge and I, I hope you don't back out because I'm going to give you a real whoopin'. Yeah, so uh, yeah, my uh, my judges there are Kacey, my sweetheart, you know, I det- I deticate this song to her, I love you Kacey. And, uh, you know I got the, uh, got the, uh, I got, I got my, uh, my YouTube friend, Seth, and, uh, my, my other YouTube friend, SpazKid. So... Those are my, uh, three judges. And, uh, you know, I mean, I mean, I, I, I suppose, you know, the impostor would have a sweetheart as a judge, but, uh, you know, somehow I doubt he has one.
(jump cut)
Oh, and another thing, I am not cheating, I have my com- I have my computer here, but, uh, it's...
(CChanSonichuCWC turns the camera around to reveal his laptop running iTunes)
It's only, uh, it's only on iTunes, you know, so it's only, uh, gonna be for pressing play. Yeah.
(jump cut back to CChanSonichuCWC in frame starting song)
[CChanSonichuCWC sings the most appropriate song ever] Your play!
Round 2
Chris
Video
Chris uploaded his second video on August 1, not long after CChanSonichuCWC. Chris performed "Don't Say You Love Me", a one-hit wonder song featured in the first Pokémon film soundtrack and Christian's Favorite Hits!. It was originally performed by M2M, a Norwegian female pop duo. At the end of the video, Chris taunts the real one.
Ironically, Chris is singing a song about how you really can't love someone when you barely know them, which is ironic given that he's quick to declare his love quest over when a service employee asks "May I help you?"
Transcript
I gotta believe! Leave it to Um Jamma Lammi! No, not this track. Here's a classic from M2M and the Pokemon world.
[sings possibly the least self-aware song that exists for Chris]
It is also track 2 on my Favorite Hits. [shows case to his mix CD] Ta da! Your turn, impasta! I believe, you fail!
CChanSonichuCWC
CChanSonichuCWC's third entry is the theme from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, by Will Smith.
Almost immediately after this video was uploaded, Chris angrily accused CChanSonichuCWC of breaking the rules with this cryptic statement:
- "I SAID REAL SONGS; YOU ARE AD-LIBBING; YOU ARE SOO DISQUALIFIED! Stay Tuned..." [2]
Chris is obviously unaware of the genre known as "rap music", the actual meaning of "ad libitum" (as in "improvisation" or "at the performer's discretion"), and also the minor detail that one doesn't "get tuned" on web pages. The TRUE CWC responded:
- "WRONG! I am NOT "AD-LIBBING," as it is Only the Title Which is DIFFERENT as a RANDOM-ACCESS HUMOR JOKE. The SONG is REAL." [3]
Video
Transcript
[angry look at camera] Hello there, IMPOSTOR. [dramatic glasses removal] Yeah. Yeah, I see- I s- I s- I seen your, uh, your latest video. Mmm. And guess what? It's- it wasn't even on my, uh, my video- it was ne- that song was NEVER on my playlist. Looks like YOU'RE the impostor. Mmm.
[puts on a white cap] So, uh... guess- looks, uh... get started with this song. For y'all.
[video cut] [performs Prince of Bel-air without missing a beat]
YOUR TURN.
Round 3
Chris
Video
For his third song, Chris does Brittney Spears's "Autumn Goodbye"
You think you're so tough, jumping in on the last minute, huh? Well, it won't be so easy next time, I'll tell you what. But anyway, now for the next track. Here's a favorite I love to play in- when I can play it in the Playstation three games are Pain and Burnout Paradise. Take it away, miss Britney Spears.
[Sings Autumn Goodbye]
Stay tuned for a bonus feature, for the impostor in brown...
Bonus Video
Transcript
Before I give it up again, let me give a brief bit of history. [Shows yearbook] Some of my yearbooks. 1995 in Providence Middle, let's look it up. Christian Chandler... all the way [points to 7th grade yearbook photo] over here. [singsong] So many memories... Oh look, some of the faculty [shows picture of business-suited faculty members] Some of the faculty... very good. Now let's see if we can find my favorite faculty member in this book. [singsong] Myyy favorite teacher, who gave me so much insipratiiion... so much inspiration... here we are. [points to woman's photograph, taps it] [sings] Remembering youuu is easy... Now, 1996. [pulls out 8th grade yearbook] Let's take a look in here. Aaah, "ocho grado". Oh yeah. [squeaky] HERE I am. Christian Chandler. [Pulls out 1997 yearbook] And now we can put da high school. 1997! Aah, my freshman year... my freshman year... now let's see... B's. B B C D E F G. Here we are. [counts down column of names] One two three four five. [counts across pictures] One two three four five. [Points to picture of self] Who's that handsome fella? Oh, and I think there's a little bonus feature in here. That I can definitely recall in my good time. [sings] A good time, a good time... Ahh, just give me a moment. [cut] Ok, I found the page. Same book [shows cover to prove it's his TRUE and HONEST yearbook and not a SLANDEROUS MOCKERY] Here's a group, in row one on the bottom. [points to the picture where he's the basketball team's towel boy] I can't make it out on the camera but that's me right there. Varsity basketball team of my freshman year. Joseph Herring on one end there. Good ol' Joe. Mmm, let's see. 1998 book. I would be a SOPH-more his year. Speaking of which have you taken a good look at that impostor? He is so sophomoric. He's gotta be like 13 or 16. Check his real ID, police people. Pleeease? [sings] Sophomore. Sophooomore. At this time I would have been sophomoric. [singsong] Buuut way back then... Here I am, right there on the end [points to photo of him possibly with a molester mustache]. Next book. [sings, and shows another yearbook] 1999. Manchester high, still. Aah, the junior year. Let's see junior. Ah yes here we are. One two three four. Here I am! One two three four. [points to black and white picture of self in same type of clown shirt he wears now, only with more hair] And SENIOR YEAR! [shows yearbook] [sings terribly] SEEEEN-YOUR. I turned 18 in the year twooo-thousand. And let's see how good I looked. I looked. Great. [he doesn't. Points to picture of himself in a tuxedo and rapist glasses] Handsome little fella! [tapping photo for some reason] Handsome 18 year old! Back in the year of twoooooo-thousand! [shoves yearbook against camera] Graduated my class, class of WHHHHY-TWOOO-KAYYY [writes numbers in air with finger] Tiffany thank you for that dance Seinor Prom. I will repay you at our reunion! Now I have a new question to put forth to the man in brown. [scratches head] If you have your yearbooks you can show them whether they be counterfeit or not you just be NAILING ANOTHER NAIL ON YOUR COFFIN [pounds fist] for the real police to... p-find. But anyway tell me about your mother and your father. What are their jobs. What are their occupations. Tell me the details in a separate video when you do your third song. Your play!
