Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez
{{quote|And there are people of other countries and colors within Cwcville, like I have just introduced Cwcville Police Constable, Louis Perez; he's a black dude, yes, and you can see the "bro-han" link I am comfortable drawing and portraying with such.|- Chris, being not racist.
Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez are two of Cwcville's policemen (true blue, not Jerkops) who show up in Sonichu 10 to apprehend Inos. Despite this being their first appearance, both appear to be good friends with Sonichu.
Gerald is the white officer, with a strong chin resembling Quagmire of Family Guy. He takes a particular interest in Sonichu's son Robbie.
Louis is the black officer - Chris has confirmed that his addition was affirmative action in Mailbag 50. He greets Sonichu with a hearty "MY BRO!" and a fist-bump. Chris is clearly pulling out all the stops to achieve a diverse and nuanced cast.
It is worth noting that the office of Constable is no longer used in Virginia, calling into question the legitimacy of their authority.