14 Branchland Court
14 Branchland Court is the domain of the Chandlers. It is a pink with dark red trim, wooden framed, two-story, three-bedroom house on the outskirts of Ruckersville, VA. The property is near the intersection of Branchland Court and Westwood Drive, facing northwest. The house itself reeks of the early 1980s, with tacky fake shutters and vinyl siding, in addition to it's decaying gardens and overgrown yard. Needless to say, it's done a number to the neighbor's property values.
As of March 2009, all space that isn't used for walking or for sleeping seems to be packed full with junk. On earlier pictures however, for instance those of Chris's 20th birthday, it shows that the house once was actually quite tidy. In his tour of the house, Chris also keeps referring to the fact that "things got cluttered", suggesting that the house has grown fuller and fuller over the past decade. Clutter, is, of course, a horribly inadequate understatement. The house is pack with shit; the former living room is unlivable, with junk filling the entire space and reaching within 2 feet of the ceiling. The other rooms are similar, but rather than solid blocks of crap, there are small crevices with chairs, TVs, and other furnishings.
The Tour
On 27 March 2009, Chris posted a video tour of his humble home. The results were horrifying and disturbing.
WARNING
The Surgeon General of the United States advises that pregnant women, people with heart or other medical conditions, should not watch this video due to the massive fail it contains. Thank you, that is all.
First floor
In the north corner is what Christian describes as "the music room," which is now primarily the domain of Barbara Chandler, who frequently sleeps there. A small bathroom is directly in front of the stairs leading up to the front door. On the other end of a short hallway is the ulitity room, in which the family keeps a refrigerator in addition to the usual washer and dryer. The family room (possibly in the west corner) has been claimed by Bob Chandler, who apparently sleeps there as well. If Chris's parents ever had, or used, dedicated bedrooms in the house, they have yet to be filmed.
Second floor
Chris's room is in the north corner of the second floor. Across the hallway, near the east corner, is a bathroom which has evidently not been cleaned in years, as evidenced by the dark brown or green mold growing in the shower grouting and having the veneered plywood peeled almost entirely through on the cabinetry. The kitchen and dining area are apparently near the south corner and southwestern wall. The computer Chris uses to access the internet seems to be in this part of the house, as well as a Christmas tree left up year-round. Interestingly, Chris has actually photographed himself with his "officer nasty" and dildos in the kitchen. This implies that Snorlax and Bob never actually leave the areas they sleep and spend the day, thus leaving Chrissy free to do whatever he wants. The living room, completely crammed with boxes and junk, is in the west corner, across the stairway from Chris's bedroom.
Yard
The yard of the house consists of some simple crossed wood planters near the curb, and some small shrubs and trees out front. The plants in the planters have long since died, probably due to a foul stench poisoning the air. The back yard contains a shed, and a small platform leading to a back entrance. The shed is full of shit, most notably a car, and was once the place where the Lumberjack would tinker with machines. After that, there are some trees and the pen where Patti once played. Her dog house still stands, and she is buried nearby. At some point, a tree branch fell on the grave. Being the pansy-ass he is, Chris cannot muster the strength to pick the damn thing up off of the grave. Some have speculated that this is divine intervention, in order to keep Patti's body safe from Chris and his fur-fag tendencies.
If you would like to send a letter to Christian, or perhaps mail his parents some of the many NOODZ he has posted on the internets in recent times, you can contact him at:
Christian Weston Chandler,
14 Branchland Court,
Ruckersville,
VA 22966-9545,
United States of America
See Also
External Links
Other famous hoarders...
- The Collyer Brothers (Infamous NY hoarders who ended up being crushed to death by their own shit)
- Edmund Trebus (Eccentric Polish immigrant who ended up being a TV star because of his hoarding)