Autism

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I'm POSSIBLY retarded...
Chris-chan on his autism, Mumble chat 23 February 2009
File:BionicConquersAutism.jpg
Bionic the Hedgehog "conquering" autism. WINDMILLS DON'T WORK THAT WAY, Chris.

Chris claims to be a high-functioning autistic male (a diagnosis not recognized in either the DSM-IV-TR or the ICD-10), Most likely is on the lower end of the autistic spectrum but still exaggerates the impact of autism on his life. Many autistic people are indeed able to learn social skills to some small degree in the context of intellectual learning. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical (Non-autistic person). This is because they have come to realize that, while they believe "normal" behavior has a tenuous definition, they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life.

Chris, however, appears to demonstrate a willful ignorance of this, expecting others to not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies in the first place (e.g, his attraction sign, CWC-isms, etc), but to also accept them. This, along with his refusal to date or associate in any way with other autistics, highlights his extreme selfishness. People who tell him to get help are playing "kick the autistic." His stupidity is blamed on his "autistic mental block."

Origin

Chris at war with autism. Too bad you can't fight cannons with fangs.

It is not currently clear exactly how he came to be diagnosed as "autistic", other than that he was diagnosed at the age of 6, receives government disability checks (his "monthly tugboat") for this mental disability, and has been using his condition as a crutch from almost day one of his diagnosis.

According to Chris, his autism manifested when he was locked in his room by a babysitter. After bawwwing for hours, he emerged from his lair unable to talk, which Chris says was when "God put the mute button on me."

Feel free to put it back, my Lord.

Autism cured?

In a moment that is sure to shock the mental health community, Chris confided in his gal pal Sarah May that, as of 04 March 2009, he has overcome his autism once and for all:[1]

[6:58:38 PM] Christopher C.W.C. says: I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
[6:58:50 PM] Sarah May says: Over what?
[6:58:53 PM] Sarah May says: Over your autism?
[6:58:57 PM] Christopher C.W.C. says: yes
[6:59:29 PM] Sarah May says: . . .
[6:59:36 PM] Christopher C.W.C. says: anyway, what is it that you want to do?
[6:59:39 PM] Sarah May says: Christian
[6:59:46 PM] Sarah May says: Are you serious?
[6:59:53 PM] Sarah May says: Autism is not influenza
[7:00:03 PM] Sarah May says: You don't 'get over it'
[7:00:41 PM] Christopher C.W.C. says: I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claims during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, so he may later retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that stress is a more socially popular scapegoat for his personal shortcomings (of course, people learn to manage stress but what do you expect?).

As of May 2009, Chris seems to have regained Autism and is back to blaming it for all his problems, seemingly believing that Autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu.

Things Chris has blamed on his autism

Everything.

Sauce

  1. http://thegeckomantis.pastebin.com/m4b9c4009 Sarah May chat, 04 March 2009

See Also