Difference between revisions of "Template:Article of the now"

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[[File:20160305081202.jpg|200px|right]]
[[File:20160305081202.jpg|200px|right]]


The '''PlayStation Network''' is an [[online]] digital media service introduced with the [[PS3]] with its launch in [[2006]]. It allows users to buy [[games]], movies, TV shows, and other stuff, as well as [[Template:Social media|social media]] features, music and movie streaming, and cloud gaming. Being [[Chris and money|as irresponsible with money]] as he is, [[Chris]] went into overdrive with this feature of the PS3's online capabilities. Chris spent so much on the PSN that it contributed most of his credit card debt at the time (roughly $3,500 circa early 2010).
The '''monthly tugboat''' is [[Chris]]'s [[CWC-isms|euphemism]] for his {{w|Social Security Disability Insurance}} (SSDI) payment, which is deposited into his bank account via direct deposit on or about the 3rd of each month. SSDI is part of a U.S. taxpayer-supported program to support financially those whose physical injures or [[Slow-in-the-minds|mental ailments]] prevent them from performing even minimum-wage work. Chris is known to have belonged to this system since at least [[2007]], before he was [[Chris in the media#Something Awful|discovered]] by the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]].


You might ask yourself how he could've spent that much and what he could've spent it on. Chris seemingly bought (and still buys) everything possible, from game content to movies to several episodes of terrible harem [[anime]]. A list of Chris's PSN purchases reveals that he frequently bought DLC for games he doesn't even own.
Contrary to popular belief, Chris's check is not need-based, but is awarded on eligibility alone. Most US Americans have to work a decade to qualify. Chris, on the other hand, has only been employed for six months (three at [[Wendy's]], three in a [[Cutco|pyramid scheme]]). However, [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] earned retirement insurance in his years at General Electric, and Social Security also lets retirees' dependent disabled children get payments, even if they have never worked themselves, so long as they were disabled before turning 22. As long as Chris earns less than $1220 a month, and stays unmarried and [[Chris and the law|out of prison]], he will continue to receive his monthly tugboat unimpeded.


Chris spent at least '''$6,127.64''' in American [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer dollars]].
('''[[Monthly Tugboat|More...]]''')
 
('''[[PlayStation Network|More...]]''')

Revision as of 20:47, 15 February 2024

20160305081202.jpg

The monthly tugboat is Chris's euphemism for his Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) payment, which is deposited into his bank account via direct deposit on or about the 3rd of each month. SSDI is part of a U.S. taxpayer-supported program to support financially those whose physical injures or mental ailments prevent them from performing even minimum-wage work. Chris is known to have belonged to this system since at least 2007, before he was discovered by the Internet.

Contrary to popular belief, Chris's check is not need-based, but is awarded on eligibility alone. Most US Americans have to work a decade to qualify. Chris, on the other hand, has only been employed for six months (three at Wendy's, three in a pyramid scheme). However, Bob earned retirement insurance in his years at General Electric, and Social Security also lets retirees' dependent disabled children get payments, even if they have never worked themselves, so long as they were disabled before turning 22. As long as Chris earns less than $1220 a month, and stays unmarried and out of prison, he will continue to receive his monthly tugboat unimpeded.

(More...)

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