Autism Tutorial Part 5

Autism Tutorial Part 5

Chris demonstrates how to "properly" introduce an autistic person to a new friend, but all it really does is ascertain that his only motivation for socializing with other people, is that doing so theoretically heightens his chances of getting that Sweetheart from the Ground-Up his duck so desperately hungers for. He then reenacts, yet again, an assault of Clyde Cash.

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(Rather than a voice-over, the first segment of the video is a text-only conversation between sack-Chris and several sack-imaginary girls.)

Un-named Sack-Imaginary Girl: Nonette, this is Christian Chandler, but you may call him Chris. Chris, this here is Nonette Sehen.

Sack-Chris: Hey Nonette, you are a pretty woman, and I am happy to meet you.

Nonette: (clearly needs glasses) Well, I think you have a very good face, and I am delighted to meet you too.

(Chris's melodic voice takes over narration for the remainder of the video)

Now this is what I'm talking about for us autistic people. We are too shy by default! But on earning our trust, or if we feel comfortable or like the other person on our indid-ividual instincts, we will open up. And to start us right, we need either: A) The other person to approach and talk to us, upon their own will, or B) have our own trusted friend or family introduce us to other people of our respective ages.

In this scenario, it was a great match for me, for A) she is a single woman, without a boyfriend: B) she is pretty, and easy on my eyes. And C) this woman I could feel comfortable with, and feel a good and honest aura from her. From this a good friendship, and hopefully a f- a long relationship will stay between us for the long time. (Voice deepens with hatred) Do not bring me down here, naysayers and haters.

Lets look at a few other scenarios of similar to opposite results. Obviously, most women: [Subtitle: "I mean NO Personal Offense whatsoever to Any Individual Person or Group of People."] Easy on my eyes, good-humored, sweet, pretty... black, white, Asian, Christian, Jewish, Buddhism, I have no, c- I have no care about skin color or religion, whatever. I will be kind to all of them, respectful and welcoming them, to have them in my circle of friends. Lesbians, too... Just don't get on my bad side here. [Subitle: "To clarify, the 'Don't get on my bad side' part refers to All Women in general'"]

Men, my own... kind, on the other hand, I would feel most hesitant towards. Because I have had fewer male friends in my life, and I have had mostly bad experiences around them. Plus, and this is very important, in my autism test it was found that I get along better with women, well over men. [Subtitle: "I mean NO Personal Offense whatsoever to Any Individual Person or Group of People."] And considering my life experiences and my own opinion, I totally agree with that. If the, uh, individual, however, offers a, uh, friendly gesture, and does not make me angry or make me feel most uncomfortable, or ill at ease, I will be willing to give him a chance and welcome him as a friend, and nothing more. [Subtitle: "**PLATONICALLY Friendly**"]

However, going back to the mean people of the internet... Upon meeting one of them in real life - and I will be able to recognize them sure enough, at least with basic instincts - I will not hold back my endured rage. Just ask this crying Clyde. (A scene of a livid Sack-Chris smacking Sack-Clyde follows before the narration continues.)

Physically and mentally challenged individuals will vary more. Good results upon if they are easy to look at, if they are able to speak clearly, even slooowly, that I can easily understand them. [Subtitle: "I mean NO Personal Offense whatsoever to Any Individual Person or Group of People."] And now, uh, the other part, the other side, whoa, back off! I'm spooked if you are ugly, seriously disfigured, especially in the face, that you mumble more than you speak, you're hard to understand at all. It is nothing personal, and I apologize for anyone who feels an unease after hearing what I just said, but its just the way I feel. That's all.

⇐ Autism Tutorial Part 4

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Autism Tutorial Part 6 ⇒