Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance

Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance is the signature attack of Chrs-Chan Pure [sic], the duo of Chris-Chan Sonichu and Crystalina Rosechu. The move has been used only twice, owing to the fact that Crystal was trapped in the Dark Mirror Hole one issue after her introduction in Sonichu #4.

Spelling

The attack's name appears at first to be a misspelling of "Chris-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance". The fact that the attack's name is spelled without the letter "i" in both times it appears might be explained by saying that Chris copied and pasted the name into the dialog box, thus replicating the typo. However, it should be noted that a Chrs-Chan Pure logo Chris drew also uses the same idiosyncratic spelling, suggesting it might be deliberate.

Description

Why yes, it was in fact stolen...

In a retarded fancomic which rips off anime as a matter of course, the Lance still manages to stand out as the most absurd, weeaboo move in the entire series.

The attack was first used in the finale of Sonichu #4. Crystal had just rescued Chris from the clutches of Mary Lee Walsh in The Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens. Determined to end the threat of PVCC once and for all, the duo joined hands. Chris-Chan summoned Blue Thunder, while Crystalina summoned Orange Thunder. Holding their free hands in the air, they spoke the following words:

Crystalina: Our Unique, Wonderful Souls....

Chris-Chan: ... shall crush your Evil Hearts and Dark Souls!

They then pointed their free hands at Walsh's crystal ball, the orange and blue energy blasts mingling together as they converged. The resulting destruction not only destroyed the crystal ball, but reversed Walsh's spell, changing the Private Villa back into Piedmont Valley Community College. Walsh and Count Graduon were unharmed, as they wisely teleported out of the building before the attack was completed, knowing full well that shits was about to happen and getting away whilst they still had the opportunity.

In Sonichu #5, the Chrs-Chan Pure used the attack again, this time to defeat the CADD Chef during Mary Lee Walsh's invasion of CWCville. The same motions were used, except this time the tandem used a slightly different speech:

Crystalina: Our Unique Souls...

Chris-Chan: ... shall brighten and crush your Black Hearts!

The extent of the damage done to the CADD Chef was not depicted in the comic, although it was not seen again for the rest of the battle, so it was most likely rendered inoperable, at the very least.

Shortly afterward, Crystal became trapped in the Dark Mirror, where she remained until Chris just picked her up and left, though she hasn't done anything since. This, combined with Chris's claim that he's removing himself from the comic, leaves the future of Chrs Chan Pure, and their Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance, in doubt.

Gallery

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  CHRS-CHAN

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  PURE

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  PULSE-JOLT

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  LANCE!

Inspiration

The attack motions and speech are a rather shameless rip of the attack done by the heroes of the anime series Pretty Cure, right down to the "beautiful souls crushing evil hearts" part. The only part of the attack that wasn't stolen was the name; since the attack is called Marble Screw, this is considered a lost opportunity.

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Pretty Cure is known for being something of an affectionate parody of the magical girl formula, with the characters often lampshading the over the top and impractical nature of their outfits, attacks, etc. Also, the characters generally look like children, which suits Chris just fine.