Kacey and Liquid Call

On 11 November 2009, Bryan Bash leaked another phone call to /cwc/.

A follow up to the original Father Call bombshell, this call between Kacey and Solid Chris mostly consists of Solid trying to defend his actions in Sonichu Special 4, and life in general until Liquid Chris arrives. At that point Solid Loses it, and the conversation degenerates into a shouting match. Bob and Barb Chandler also make an appearance.

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Summary

Main Points are as follows:

(0:00 - 5:20) Call starts,Chris promptly asks if Kacey got the comic he sent her. Kacey reacts negatively, saying it's horrible that he would draw himself shooting Chris. Chris offers that it was only in the legs, so he wouldn't follow them, but Kacey is still offended. Chris states that he really didn't want to kill Liquid, just hurt him. Kacey notes the change from fantasy violence to attempted murder, Chris says this comic was supposed to be closer to real life. Kacey takes this as Chris wanting to shoot Liquid in real life. Chris responds by saying he dosen't even own a real gun, and confirms the gun is based off Megatron. Kacey remains nonplussed. Chris also mentions possible retconning in this comic, namely the page where he shoots Liquid.

(5:21 - 9:02) Kacey is outraged at Chris. Despite his futile efforts, he can't calm her down. Chris believes the comic hasn't been seen by anyone. He also can't comprehend that retconning him shooting Liquid dosen't erase the fact that he wanted to do it in the first place. Kacey has apparently told her whole family about the comic, and they all hate Chris.

(9:03 - 13:12) Chris tries to "defend himself" by saying Liquid was crazy too. Chris has apparently broken several promises to Kacey about turning his life around. When asked if he jogs five miles everyday, there is a long pause. Before he says yes. Kacey calls his bullshit, and the debate rages until Chris gives up.

(13:13 - 17:19) Kacey confronts Chris saying the date level wasn't made for her. Chris admits it was made for JULAAAAYYYYY, and again, misses the point of her outrage. Kacey believes that Chris is even foregoing making the comic in order to play more video games. Kacey points out that, in his jobless free time, Chris could finish entire issues of his comic daily. Kacey affirms that she does way more than Chris, and in addition points out that Chris has no friends (she's on a roll, no?). Chris compares going to work and school all day to filling out job applications. Chris reveals it takes him 20 minutes to fill out an application, compared to Kacey's 5. Chris tries to puff up his time playing Pokemon TCG with children as volunteer work.

(17:20 - 19:50) Kacey states that her Father is right and that she should be with Liquid. Kacey states that she hated the apology video, calling it fake, and that Chris's behavior was like that of a spoiled brat. Chris responds harshly, saying that he really cried. Kacey finally sees the light, saying that Chris only wants her for one thing and that he just wanted to take her away from Liquid to spite him. Kacey reveals that Chris told her not to talk to him or see him again. Chris is either trying to be smooth or trying to guilt her into giving up by saying the first thing he thinks of when he thinks of her is what a great friend she is.

(19:51 -22:40) Chris begins talking quietly, in small, generic sentences about how much he cares about her. Chris says that if someone were to shoot Kacey, he would be sad. Chris states how Kacey has been nothing but good to him. Kacey declares she hates liars. Apparently, the first time they met, Chris did nothing but stare at Kacey's chest and insult her. Chris declares he was looking at her face, and ignores the fact that he called her fat. Kacey points out that her face isn't under her shirt.

(22:41-30:17) In a surprising turn of events, a wild Snorlax appears, then leaves. Things get much better when, seconds later, Our hero picks up the phone on Kacey's end. Chris and Liquid yell over each other for quite a while. Kacey accuses Chris of forging his driver's liscense. Chris denies being fat. In the middle of conversation, Chris goes into tard rage mode and yells at Liquid and Kacey. Liquid is going to the police with the gun comic.

(30:18-35:40) Kacey dosen't think Chris is autistic. Chris invites Liquid over, Kacey warns him that he will get shot. Liquid and Kacey were making passioante love at 14 Branchland Court. Chris is enraged. Kacey thinks that Chris dosen't care about her, and that he is to busy being Ian.

(35:41 - Grand Finale) Kacey's dad likes Liquid, not chris. Liquid will turn Sonichu into a real franchise. Liquid has a job. Chris whines about truth and honesty. Chris tells his parents about everything he does on the internet. Chris wakes up his parents at midnight to scare off trolls on the phone. Barbara calls Kacey a bitch. Liquid and Kacey will get married. Chris will chase Liquid down and prove him as the liar.

Transcript

Chris: Hello?
Kacey: Hey Chris, it's Kacey.
Chris: Hey Kacey, how are you?
Kacey: I'm okay.
Chris: Yeah...so, did you get the comic book pages I sent you?
Kacey: Yeah, uh, I'm a little disturbed by the violence in it, you, you, you shot Chris..uh...
Chris: Only in the legs. So he wouldnt chase after us.
Kacey: But that's, that's horrible! That's really horrble, like, he'd be in a wheelchair. He wouldn't do that to you.
Chris: Well..okay well...I'm sorry...
Kacey: Why did you think that was appropriate? Otherwise it was good, but... I mean, he's a lot nicer than that, you're trying to make yousrself look better than him but you SHOT HIM!
Chris: Well he came after...I drew him coming after me with a knife.
Kacey: But still, I mean, haven't you ever heard that it's more honorable to kill a man than to cripple him? And i mean it's your comic, you drew it.
Chris: W...Well....I didnt really wanna KILL him, I mean I d...I don't....would you rather I have actually shot him dead instead of shooting him in the legs? Or...
Kacey: Well I'd rather you not have shot him at all but, I mean, I'm just saying, why did you have to make it so violent? Normally in your comics you transform into Chris-chan Sonichu and beat them that way. I've never seen you attempt to KILL somebody in a comic before...
Chris: Uh well, I mean, I just felt like in the..I felt like I should be more, I don't know, more realistic in these pages because it's more close to real life..
Kacey: So youre saying you would shoot him in real life?!
Chris: Well, in self-defense....I mean, yeah, you know, seriously doubt....in real life I would, I would try.
Kacey: Where would you get a gun anyway?
Chris: W...well, I do not currently own a real gun. I do not own a real gun, I drew that gun based off generation 1 Megatron.
Kacey: Oh...okay so you're basing shooting him on Transformers...? What?
Chris: Uh no, you see I have the, uh, the actual toy for generation 1 Megatron, you know, where he actually transforms to BLAH BLAH BLAH TRANSFORMERS BULLSHIT
Kacey: I know, but you shot him with a real gun in the comic, he was my boyfriend and you shot him, don't you think I still care about him a little? That's just weird, I was expecting like a magical fight, not like...you shooting him.
Chris: Hm. Well, well, i did not realize you want-you wanted me to...cute it up a little bit in that sense. I mean you wanted me to rescue you and I just didn't really feel like cute for that whole transformation thing was appropriate.
Kacey: Well neither is shooting him, you can't change that you already did that. This is the comic, I realize this is the comic, it's supposed to be not shooting people, its supposed to be like the Sonichu comic but I mean you shot him.
Chris: Well it's not officially published yet I mean only...I mean I can change that page...I can change that, I can fix that.

[Incredibly uncomfortable pause]

Chris: I can...get rid of the gun and just... yeah, yeah, i can make it less violent. okay?
Kacey: Um...I mean, but you already did it. I mean, what's done is done.
Chris: Yeah but yeah I can change that page, I can redraw it.
Kacey: But you already did it, the images are already in my head.
Chris: Um okay I'm sorry I did not mean for it to-
Kacey: But Chris that's crazy, thats insane, you're calling Chris crazy, but that's INSANE. I mean it doesn't change the fact that you wanted to SHOOT HIM.
Chris: I..yeah, I guess it doesn't.
Kacey: I mean I don't feel comfortable with people like that, I mean I'm going to school to save lives, do you think I would approve of that? Hell no, thats crazy.
Chris: I...yeah okay I could have done it better, I could have done it less violent. I'm sorry.
Kacey: [Getting slightly hysterical]If you were sorry you wouldnt have done it in the first place. You drew him there, in PAIN, and you're just watching him BLEED, and then you leave him. What happens if you do that in real life? He'd die. Don't you think I'd be miserable?
Chris: Hm. No, actually I would have called 911 on him, you know. Bring the police and ambulance around.
Kacey: Oh and be like what, I SHOT HIM? THey're going to arrest you. You're going to call 911 on yourself? violence doesnt solve anything. I mean, you could have not shot him in the first place! Cause the police are just gonna go after you then. And then there would be none of either of you.
Chris: All right, all right, it's all right.
Kacey: And especially where you shot him in the legs? Hello gravity! He's gonna lose blood a lot quicker.
Chris: Well...Like I said, I can redraw that cause you know it's not published anywhere, it's not published anywhere. It's like yeah, I can undo that. I can redraw that page. I can change that.
Kacey: No, I don't want you to redraw it. I don't want you to redraw it, okay? It's already done. I have no words to describe it. I mean, like, you did this after the thing with my father, and he told my brother about it and my sister about it, like my whole family is against you. They think you're crazy. I mean, this is about your intentions and now, what's gonna happen if, like, somebody sees this? They're gonna think you're INSANE.
Chris: Well...nobody else has to see it.
Kacey: But what happens if they did? I dont get why you had to shoot my boyfriend. The hell?
Chris: Well in my defense, uh, he was crazy too.
Kacey: But he didn't SHOOT YOU.
Chris: Yeah. All right...
Kacey: I mean, he's not crazy. He at least has police reports saying what happened to him, and I totally believe him. I mean, he can't fake that. And I mean, I can't believe you did that, and I was starting to believe in you again even though you do all these things like you never clean your room, you never did the song, you didn't stop eating fast food, I totally know about the whole McDonalds thing.
Chris: Okay, well, I have, I have done some room cleaning. I mean-
Kacey: You were supposed to have it done like a MONTH AGO, and you still can't jog or work out or whatever...
Chris: I am! I have been jogging, i have been working out, I have been doing all that.
Kacey: Five miles a day?
Chris: ...I have.
Kacey: You've been jogging five miles a day? Seriously? You're lying to me, I need proof for this. I mean I bet you don't have a gym membership or anything.
Chris: Not yet on the gym membership, I'm jogging around the neighborhood.
Kacey: I doubt it's for five miles. You're seriously doing five miles? Come on. You complained to my father about PULLING WEEDS. I doubt you're gonna do five miles.
Chris: I can do five miles, Kacey.
Kacey: Okay, did you do it today? Cause you told me you're doing it everyday, so obviously you did it today.
Chris: Yes I did it today, I jogged once around the neighborhood, that's about 1/2 mile, and I could jog more than that and uh jog up to five miles, I can do that.
Kacey: You just told me that you jog 5 miles everyday, you're lying to me already to my face?
Chris: OKay, we had a miscommunication...
Kacey: No, you said yes. I said do you jog five miles everyday and you said yes, that's not miscommunication, that's lies.
Chris: Okay well I misunderstood the question.
Kacey: How did you misunderstand the question? It's a very simple question, I wasn't asking it to you in Japanese.
Chris: Okay all right. But yeah I have been jogging 1 1/2 miles every day.
Kacey: BULLSHIT. Kim and I talked about how much you jog, I know you don't jog.
Chris: Yes i do.
Kacey: Five minutes isn't jogging you cant even do enough to get your heartrate up.
Chris: Yes I can
Kacey: No you can't you just sit around and play video games, you haven't done anything you said you were gonna do for me and then you show me a comic with you SHOOTING PEOPLE and and and I'm supposed to be like yay thank you?
Chris: Okay yeah well I admit I was wrong in drawing that, I cannot undo it but okay. What can I do to make up for that?
Kacey: For what, the comic? Jogging? It's too late, it's done.
Chris: Well we're talking about for the comic still here, what can i do to make up for that?
Kacey: You shot someone, you can't make up for that I'm gonna remember that. That's creepy, that's insane.
Chris: All right.
Kacey: Besides and I found out that you didnt even make that date level for me, I heard you made it for another girl. That's so disrespectful.
Chris: Okay in my defense I thought - before - I later found out that that quote unquote girl was a dude.
Kacey: Doesn't matter. No wonder you said it was so easy, it was already done.
Chris: That's not the point-
Kacey: You werent even gonna do the comic except when i kept BITCHING at you.
Chris: I did the comic, I did.
Kacey: EVENTUALLY.
Chris: I had it started and I had it mostly done!! [whining] I finished coloring it today and sent it to you.
Kacey: You even put in the video that you were doing this instead of a comic because it was easier, you just wanted to play video games!
Chris: Well...I misworded that, I meant to say in addition to the comic, okay?
Kacey: I don't think you were gonna do it. I think you were lying.
Chris: [starting to spaz out] NO NO NO I HAD IT ALREADY...I HAD IT STARTED AFTER I HAD..I HAD IT STARTED I STARTED ON IT AFTER I DID THE LEVEL AND I JUST NEEDED TO COLOR IT AND-
Kacey: Well then you should have said that, and dont you dare fucking raise your voice at me. Why couldn't you have done it? You could have finisehd it in less than a day, you don't even have a job, you don't do anything.
Chris: Well I...I am doing something...I...
Kacey: Like what? What do you have to do all day? You don't go to school like I do, you don't go to work like I do... you obviously don't go out with friends like I do...
Chris: I'm filling out the applications so i can work, so I'm working on getting a job.
Kacey: That doesnt take all day, I've been putting in applications to get a new job, it takes me like five minutes.
Chris: Actually for me it takes like ten or twenty minutes.
Kacey: Well you know you filling out something should be fairly easy because you don't have any work history, it takes like five minutes when you don't.
Chris: Well actually I do have the work history, I list my resume.
Kacey: Yeah but nobody wants to hear about fucking..Sonichu and Rosechu, that's not a good way to get a job.
Chris: There's more, I mean you know, there's more to it than that, there's the uh, time at Wendys, and then I worked...
Kacey: You got fired, that's not good either.
Chris: And definitely did the volunteer work for the Pokemon Trading Card Game League.
Kacey: That doesn't count as volunteer work, thats not community service.
Chris: That was volunteer work.
Kacey: That does not count as volunteer work, I promise you that if you needed volunteer work for something it would not count, it is not community service. You were aleady there to play Pokemon. That's babysitting.
Chris: Yes well yes okay it was babysitting but it was volunteer babysitting.
Kacey: Still. Not. Community. Service. Community service is like candy striping, helping out with the humane society, going and reading to people in old folks homes, planting some trees... uhh habitat for humanity, that's community service. Things that actually contribute to society. Pokemon does not contribute to society. [PAUSE] You know, my dad's totally right. Youre fucking insane. And I should be with Chris because you totally opened my eyes.
Chris: Don't say that...don't say that, that just makes me..that just makes me feel bad...I do not mean to give off the impression of being crazy.
Kacey: But you're being selfish, you won't do anything for me. Okay you finally made the comic but then you oh my GOD. I mean you were so nasty to my family, you just you dont even seem apologetic at all. I mean that whole video you made sounded so fake. That was like what my little sister does when she doesn't get her way, like a spoiled retarded brat.
Chris: [whining] THAT WAS TRUE I CRIED I DID CRY.
Kacey: those werent even REAL TEARS.
Chris: THEY WERE REAL.
Kacey: NO THEY WERE NOT. Don't raise your voice, seriously, that is what Kara does when she doesn't get her way.
Chris: Those were real tears.
Kacey: No they weren't. I really think my dad's right, I think you just want me so you can fuck me and take me from Chris cause you're jealous of chris.
Chris: No no no no that's not it.
Kacey: YOU ARE JEALOUS. You told me not to talk to him anymore, you told me not to see him. The hell is up with that? That's my BOYFRIEND, I mean that was like, he's the love of my life. You just want Crystal or something, You mentioned that to my dad, that creeped my dad OUT and then you couldn't even give my dad a reason you're better than him, what am I supposed to think? I mean, what are you thinking about when you think of me, tell me right now, what are you thinking about when you think of me?
Chris: I think about like...how good of a friend you are. And how I care about you very much.
Kacey: A friend? Chris..
Chris: And how you care about me.
Kacey: A friend? YOu just said a friend, that sounds like a stalker. Come on, seriously, what do you think about me? How do you care about me?
Chris: I care about you very much.
Kacey: How? Not how big.
Chris: I worry about you
Kacey: You worr yabout me HOW? Maybe you should be more worried about me hanging around people who would SHOOT PEOPLE.
Chris: Well I care about your safety and well being and if someone shot you I would care about you and feel sad...
Kacey: Did you just say if someone would SHOOT ME?
Chris: In my defense-
Kacey: Maybe YOU'LL shoot me if I pissed you off, come on.
Chris: I would not shoot you.
Kacey: Why not? Youre obviously just, UGH.
Chris: I do not even have a real gun.
Kacey: But that's unstable, that is SO unstable.
Chris: ...Okay. Okay, I guess it is. I guess it is unstable. But...Kacey, I...when I think about you I think about like the sweetest kindest woman I've ever known in my life who's been nothing but helpful to me.
Kacey: So then why are you gonna treat my family like that? Why are you gonna treat my boyfriend like tha? Why are you gonna treat people i know like that? You lie to me and Kim all the time and Kim's one of my best friends now.

Dramatic pause

Chris: Because I'm not...sometimes I'm not sure what to say. And-
Kacey: So you lie? Because that's gonna be good...Why would you lie to your friends? Lying to your friends isn't good.
Chris: I'm most of..i mean....most of the time I'm honest. And when I do lie its a little lie.
Kacey: No theres no such thing as little lies, all of them are big lies, especially...me? I hate lies when you don't need to lie about them, stupid lies are the worst lies. I'd rather have a huge big lie than a little lie. You lie ALL THE TIME. Thats pathetic.
Chris: I do not lie all the time, I lie some of the time.
Kacey: And I mean you, come on, you're lucky I gave you this much of a chance. First time you met me all you did was stare at my chest and insult me, I mean, I can't understand how you called me fat and the on the other hand you were staring at me the whole time.
Chris: I was looking at your face, I was staring at your face.
Kacey: My face is not down there, I'm not that short.
Chris:No no-(Barbra interrupts).
Barbara:I need to use the phone.

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