User:Flyingdingo0827

Chris's bad ideas

For someone as thick as Chris, bad ideas are abound. Though there is speculation as where Chris finds the inspiration for these endeavors (or better yet where he rips it off from) some ideas are just so profoundly retarded that even the dumbest net citizen face palms in the face of rampant stupidity. These are some of the more well known ideas that Chris had in his head.

Megan/ED saga

Prior to his discovery Chris would spent the majority of his time at the The GAMe PLACe. From there he met a young woman named Megan, who was even stranger than him. During this time, Chris and Megan would spend time together talking about things that they both enjoyed (or rather what Chris was willing to copy) and generally became friends as a result.

One day however, a fellow patron named Mimms took a picture of Chris that started him on the road of becoming a lolcow. From there the shit hit the fan. After a session of ego searching on the web he discovered his ED page and like most things in his life he handled it poorly. He decided to become a one man army against the evil ED empire armed with nothing but truth and justice on his side. It didn't work out as much as he'd hope. When Chris decided to go on his crusade, he thought that the best way to combat the facts in his article is to bombard it with additional information that would be too personal for someone to know. In addition to anecdotes involving sex and telling the EDitors that "he's straight" he decided to upload rule 34 of his own comic characters. In addition to the slew of rosechu porn was a picture depicting comic Chris finger banging a Caucasian brunette while smiling like a smug bastard. The EDitors automatically assumed that the brunette in question was none other than Crystal which led some to believe that Chris wanted to bang his imaginary twin sister. Because he's not one to keep others out of the crossfire, Chris responded by stating that the girl in the picture was actually his friend Megan.

Soon after the picture was uploaded, a friend of Megan discovered the picture and told Megan about it. Megan was shocked and went to Chris with outrage as she asked him why he decided to draw the picture. At first, Chris believed that Megan was outraged due to the fact that She was asexual and probably didn't know what sex was. So he dedicated an entire E-mail to explain in candid detail what he was doing to her in the pic. After she recovered from a combination of disgust and nausea, she again asked him why he did it. He responded by basically telling her that he needed to draw the picture or else he would've probably (attempted) to rape her and told her that he'd try to take down the page as soon as possible. After several weeks of failed attacks on ED, Megan responded for one of the last time by telling him that she never wanted to see him again and told him that they couldn't be friends anymore. To this day, Megan's location is unknown and Chris lost one of the closest things he had as a friend. To make matters worse, the onslaught of information and the gallery of Rule 34 helped to increase troll interest in Chris and helped to make him one of the biggest target for trolling that most have ever seen.

It should be noted that even though the picture ended his friendship with Megan, he still decided to upload the same picture along with the rest of the rule 34 to his porn site Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack and cited its use by saying that he needed "sexy pictures for a sexy website".

Adam Stackhouse saga

Sometime before the discovery of ED and the fallout of Megan's friendship, Chris decided to enter a contest known as Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown. During the contest, Chris and several other applicants had to sing a song from the titular game series and the winner would be able to go to an all expense paid trip to Seattle for the 2007 PAX convention and two PSPs. Chris hoped that winning the contest would unlock the gates to Megan's china. So Chris got up, buckled down and...no he just half-assed the job as usual. Chris's performance could be called less than ideal as it primarily consisted of him flailing around like a fish while reading the lyrics to the song.

Rather than play fair and what for the results, Chris decided to stuff the ballot box with votes to make sure that he'd win. So after voting over 50 times and getting everyone he knew to cast their vote, Chris ended up losing the contest and getting nothing but a PSP to show for all his "hard work". He decided to combat the decision by trying to discredit the winners by trying to prove that they broke the rules even though he broke several rules by stuffing the ballot box and adding additional lyrics. For all his efforts however, he was told straight up by Megan that even if he did by some miracle won, she still wouldn't have gone with him anyway.

(It should be noted that Chris also thought that it was necessary to tell a total stranger that he only entered the contest to get his friend to sleep with him while he was telling him why he should have won the contest.)

Clyde Cash saga

During this saga, Chris began to draw more of his comics and trolls began to eat it up as soon as they saw it. However, because Chris can't do anything as easy as draw (shitty) pages for his comic for more than a couple of minutes, his comics began to update less and less until Chris practically stopped updating all together. When this happened, many fans were upset including a young boy named Ryan Cash, younger brother of Mr. Clyde Cash and a die hard fan of the comic. When Chris's updating schedule began to slow down, young Ryan soon found himself falling into a deep depression. Soon after, Young Ryan committed suicide and the Cash family would never be the same again. Immediately Clyde decided to tell Chris the horrible tragedy and awaited Chris's response to being responsible for killing his younger brother. After several days, Chris decided to create a video to apologize to the Cash family and showed how sorry he was about the death of one of his fans.

His response was less than ideal. Chris decided that it was more important to marvel at his power to cause a young boy to commit suicide than to show how sorry he was for causing it. Needless to say, Clyde was not amused and Chris unknowingly created an enemy that would haunt him even from beyond the grave (supposedly).

After Clyde fucked up many of Chris's attempt to gain China, hacked his many user accounts on various websites (including youtube and one of his sonichu websites), and sending various trolls to harass Chris IRL, Chris began to hate Clyde with more fury as the days wore on. Chris would eventually try to counter against Clyde's attacks (with no avail) and would resort to everything from death threats and curse-ye-ha-me-has. Then came the day when Clyde was rumored to have committed suicide and various trolls decided to take up Clyde's place as the head troll. After many month's of inactivity on Clyde's end, Chris deduced that his nemesis was finally gone and he would finally be able to get some peace after months of abuse (until the next troll decided to mess with Chris of course).

Months later, Chris was in the middle of the Liquid Saga. He was busy trying to steal Kacey from "that brown shirted imposter" and get into her pants when suddenly Chris heard word that Clyde was back from the dead. He decided to spend most of his time trying to battle against Clyde (AKA Gregg Mays) and silence him once and for all. Chris's attempt hinged on a particularly gay picture (that Chris saved and is in possession of to this day) that he used as a springboard to create several poor jokes. One of these was one particularly terrible one in which Chris decided to mock the 9/11 tragedy for the sake of humiliation. This video was met by moral outrage and disbelieve that Chris would actually be dumb/heartless enough to mock one of the worst terrorist attacks in US history. After deleting the video a day after it was uploaded, Chris decided to offer an apology to those that may have been offended by the video. This video offered a half-assed apology that was quickly followed by him explaining how he only used the tragedy in order to mock Clyde Cash. Not one to outdo himself in laziness and studipity, Chris then showed a picture of the twin towers its tops on fire. Needless to say, the general consensus seemed to believe that the apology was more offensive than the one before it.

The last Chris has mentioned Clyde after the Gregg mays incident was when he thought that Clyde had a hand in destroying his relationship with The Wallflower. Chris decided to display his forgiveness by pretending to beating him up before slitting Clyde's throat on camera with a pocket knife as way to warn other trolls from interfering in his love quest again.

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