User:Beat

Americunt: This user is an Americunt and refuses to use unnecessary vowels. Uncle Sam would be proud! Christian This user is a Christian and has accepted GodJesus as his/her savior. JERK This user is a JERK and takes away all the girls. Operation Mailbag This user contributed to the Mailbag and had their e-mail answered by Chris. CWChronology Iron Cross Thank u for ur great help towards the obsessive chronological documentation of Chris-Chan's life! :3 Transcriber This user transcribes videos, and has no doubt become insane from regular exposure to Chris's fail. Asperpedia Regular This user is a regular contributor to Asperpedia. STRAIGHT This user is STRAIGHT. and likes dykes & china. Unlike Chris, they don't mind da homos. Kitty This user thinks Kitty is the best Chandler cat! :3 HEXBox This user is the proud owner of a HEXBox. Chris does not approve.

I am Beat. I TRANSCRIBE BITCHES.

My to do list

I'm gonna reformat every transcript with a conversation EVER.

Even when it's Chris talking to himself.

Especially when it's Chris talking to himself. The videobooks are nigh-on incomprehensible.

Sandbox

Stuff I did

Uhhhh...

• I think I kicked off Chris and Remorse. Too bad it kinda sucks.
• I remember writing most of Death threats when it was created. Didn't start the page though.
• I'm pretty sure I did a lot of work on the early version of Chris and English. That said, Speech impediment and Chris and writing kind of make it redundant.
• I wrote some nonsense for Chris and music, mostly just "GRRR CHRIS SUCKS AT RAP".
• A list of famous people who sent Chris letters.
• I wrote the fist draft of the main Asperchu article.
• America, Fuck yeah.

My letters to Chris

• The Man who was Thursday, on literature.
• The Screwtape Letters, on making people do stuff.
• Milton Bradley, on Asperchu, deleted because Chris hates Asperchu.
• G.K. Chesterton, on blasphemy, deleted because I didn't approach the topic gently enough.

WANT WOMAN!

Amazing. 7 years after Chris's first sign way back when he was 21 and we all had no idea he existed. And then boom. We get this.

In so many way's it's such an incredible step down from the original banner. That one was almost clever if you somehow managed to ignore the racism and misanthropy. Hell if it was wielded by a halfway decent human, it would probably make a decent conversation starter. Not the sort of thing that would start a lifelong relationship, but it might get a few people to come over and laugh at the madness of it.

WANT WOMAN! on the other hand is such a massive step down. What we have here is a man in a sports bra, at a public event, striking weird poses. He won't talk to people, so he writes his message across his tits.

The levels of planning here somehow make it even more terrifying. Chris went to this place (a family event) wearing a shirt that demanded Vagina, with this message already written on his women's undergarments, meaning he came here with the full intention of disrobing in public around children.

Just look at the photos of him when he has the shirt up. He's sitting in the middle of an aisle, intentionally posing in some sort of desperate plea for attention. He's surrounded by people, and honestly I'm shocked we can't see more of them staring in disbelief.