User:Beat

Americunt: This user is an Americunt and refuses to use unnecessary vowels. Uncle Sam would be proud! Christian This user is a Christian and has accepted GodJesus as his/her savior. JERK This user is a JERK and takes away all the girls. Operation Mailbag This user contributed to the Mailbag and had their e-mail answered by Chris. CWChronology Iron Cross Thank u for ur great help towards the obsessive chronological documentation of Chris-Chan's life! :3 Transcriber This user transcribes videos, and has no doubt become insane from regular exposure to Chris's fail. Asperpedia Regular This user is a regular contributor to Asperpedia. STRAIGHT This user is STRAIGHT. and likes dykes & china. Unlike Chris, they don't mind da homos. Kitty This user thinks Kitty is the best Chandler cat! :3 HEXBox This user is the proud owner of a HEXBox. Chris does not approve.

I am Beat. I TRANSCRIBE BITCHES.

My to do list

I'm gonna reformat every transcript with a conversation EVER.

Even when it's Chris talking to himself.

Especially when it's Chris talking to himself. The videobooks are nigh-on incomprehensible.

Sandbox

Stuff I did

Uhhhh...

• I think I kicked off Chris and Remorse. Too bad it kinda sucks.
• I remember writing most of Death threats when it was created. Didn't start the page though.
• I'm pretty sure I did a lot of work on the early version of Chris and English. That said, Speech impediment and Chris and writing kind of make it redundant.
• I wrote some nonsense for Chris and music, mostly just "GRRR CHRIS SUCKS AT RAP".
• A list of famous people who sent Chris letters.
• I wrote the fist draft of the main Asperchu article.
• America, Fuck yeah.

My letters to Chris

• The Man who was Thursday, on literature.
• The Screwtape Letters, on making people do stuff.
• Milton Bradley, on Asperchu, deleted because Chris hates Asperchu.
• G.K. Chesterton, on blasphemy, deleted because I didn't approach the topic gently enough.

Ultimate Nightmare

The animation isn't really impressive in any way shape or form. It's 3 frames of a tiny stick figure against a static backdrop, walking but never moving, while a high pitched electric beep drones on in the background. It's crappy, and it's summary has all the basic staples of Chris-speak (mixing English and metric, random capitalization) but this isn't the Chris Chan we all know and love/hate.

There's something weird about the whole thing. A lot of us refused to believe it was a Chris Creation when we first saw it. There are concepts here that almost approach levels of actual artistry. The idea of someone moving so slowly that it's as if they're suck in place mirrors the last 8 years of Chris's life, suck at home going nowhere. The long beep brings to mind the noise SDTVs made when left on, a sound that Chris has probably heard constantly for his entire life.

I wonder if this is actually a nightmare Chris had.