Joshua Martinez
| “ | Josh can't stand him, but Chris is always trying to hang out with him. I think Josh is the ONE man his age that he can stand being around. | ” |
| PodMonkey | ||
Joshua Martinez carpooled to James Madison University with his childhood friend Christian Weston Chandler. He attended for speech therapy due to his thick Spanish accent.[1] Apparently, the two hung out after school in Harrisonburg, where they would eat at a restaurant called Country Cookin and mull around an abandoned airplane.
First Troll
Joshua is the first troll to pretend to be a woman to screw with Chris. He pretended to hook Chris up with a girl named Lori Lopez, chatted with Chris as her and sent him supposed pictures of her. These images were actually of Vanessa Hudgens. The truly hilarious part of this is he closes communication as her by confiding her love for Josh to Chris. Eventually Chris discovers that he was trolled, and (as he does about everything that happens to him) writes about it in his comic.
After Chris discovered he was a lolcow, he tried diverting the attention from himself to Joshua with gems like the following edit to his ED page.
| “ | --- Look, pal, if you REALLY WANT to TAKE DOWN someone who HAS a REPUTATION, consider one JOSHUA MARTINEZ.
Ladies come a runnin' from at least as far as New York City to his house in Dyke, VA; not just any ladies, but STARS like Megan Fox, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Jessica Simpson and plenty other whores. He also has been Piggy-Backing on the Stardom of Vanessa Hudgens; singing with her in her Latino Albums, and starring with her in various HBO movies, and even worse, TRANSFORMERS 2. He has her and some other gal named Brittany for BOTH HIS SIMULTANEOUS GIRLFRIENDS; DUAL Marriage in the works here. He's a more LUCKY S.O.B. than I can ever surmount to. RUIN HIS REPUTATION. Joshua Martinez. PS YOU DID NOT HEAR THIS WHOLE THING FROM ME. |
” |
| Chris thanking Josh for saving him $22.49 for a Nintendo Wii[2] | ||
Retarded Troll
Josh is still trolling Chris as Vanessa Hudgens. Josh had this brilliant idea to tell Chris that Vanessa and him were at Wal-Mart. When Chris got there, Josh said they were at Red Lobster. When Chris got to Red Lobster, Josh said they were at Wal-Mart. For epic lulz, Josh made no record of this event at all.
Josh lies about having access to Chris's dox, and tells people that he is in the FBI and can turn on Chris's PS Eye to serve as a surveillance camera.
When Josh said he'd bring Vanessa Hudgens, Britney Spears, Jessica Alba, Megan Fox and Betty White to Chris for sex, this led Chris to think that Ivy is a troll.
During the Ivy era, Josh tried to scam Chris's money in a PSP trade.[3]
Life
Josh supposedly has cousins in a fairly popular band, which is his excuse for meeting the likes of Jessica Alba, Britney Spears, Jessica Biel, Megan Fox, and Jessica Simpson.
Joshua was working as a gofer at ProBuild in Charlottesville Virginia until mid-2008. Now he sells sugar water.[4] Much like Chris, he is also perusing a career in the art field with works that look like Venus De Milo in comparison to Chris's shit. Much unlike Chris, he has a daily jogging and weightlifting regimen.