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Twas the night before C-Mas, and in the house and the yard
Not a creature was stirring, not even a tard.
The fapcups were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Sonichu soon would be there.
The autist was slumbering all snug in his bed,
While visions of free China danced in his head.
And Snorlax in her thong, and me in my mask,
Had settled for drunk anal sex, and rum from a flask.
When out on the lawn there arose such a commotion,
I pulled myself out of Barb (though I needed some lotion).
Heading to the window I quickly fell over some junk,
Flew out of the window, to find I was covered in spunk.
The Moon on the breast of the new-fallen cum
Let me see how much there was, I could even have swum.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a hundred naked trolls, and many kegs of beer.
With a pickle-clad leader, dick big as a canoe,
I knew in a moment it must be Michael Snyder the Jew.
More rapid than weens his minions they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now Mao! now, Billy! now, Bluespike and Alec!
On, Liquid! On, Jack! on, Jason and Surfshack!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now fap away! fap away! fap away all!"
As a pedofork's last fap before being shived with a shank,
The trolls increased their vigor as they continued to wank
Soon up to the house-top the Trolls they spewed,
Over the kegs full of beer, and over me too!
And then, in a moment, I saw on the shed
The prancing of a transsexual, as it skinned a dog which was dead.
I lumbered back inside, and was turning around,
When down the stairs Clyde Cash came in with a bound.
He was dressed all in leather, from his head to his foot,
his clothes were all tarnished with feces and troll-loot.
A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,
And I noticed he had the Relics of Fail in a sack.
His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
He was so fucking hot, I would have let him pop my cherry!
His orange little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And as he unfurled the autism papers, he whispered he had much he would show.
The stump of a joint he placed between my teeth,
And the smoke it billowed filled me with happy relief.
He had an dark tan face and glorious guido hair,
That made me laugh like a sperg, but then I heard Chris bellow and swear!
He was obese and oily, a right hideous old shmuck,
And I laughed when I saw him (though I was high as fuck)
But the clench of his teeth and the word "faggot" writ on head,
Let me know I had an imminent pants shitting to dread.
Clyde spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
filled Chris's eyes with mace, then pimp slapped him with a jerk.
And as the manchild covered me with his feculant blight,
Clyde gave me a nod, and he whispered "good night"!
He sprang to his van, to his team gave a shout,
And away they all flew, Snyder still cumming all about
But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove far, far away,
"Happy C-Mas to all, and to Chris Chan, JULAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"
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