Template:Article of the now

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Thetugboatposter.jpg

The monthly tugboat is Chris's euphemism for his Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) payment, which is deposited into his bank account via direct deposit on or about the 3rd of each month. SSDI is part of a U.S. taxpayer-supported program to support financially those whose physical injures or mental ailments prevent them from performing even minimum-wage work. Chris is known to have belonged to this system since at least 2007, before he was discovered by the Internet.

Contrary to popular belief, Chris's check is not need-based, but is awarded on eligibility alone. Most US Americans have to work a decade to qualify. Chris, on the other hand, has only been employed for six months (three at Wendy's, three in a pyramid scheme). However, Bob earned retirement insurance in his years at General Electric, and Social Security also lets retirees' dependent disabled children get payments, even if they have never worked themselves, so long as they were disabled before turning 22. As long as Chris earns less than $1220 a month, and stays unmarried and out of prison, he will continue to receive his monthly tugboat unimpeded.

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