Chris and sex

Chris has a warped view of sex (aka "hanky panky"), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development (he didn't understand sex until watch softcore porn on HBO). He views pornographic films as "educational" and regularly purchase sex toys form AdamEve.com.

Moral Basis on Sex and Double Standards.

Sex life viewed through CWC'S eyes is dictated by the Christian bible. Chris is very strict to keeping the word of God when homosexuality is the topic, not doubting in expressing that he HATES homos, but will not hesitate to view lesbian porn and approve of it ("I like dykes..."). Another violation of his morals is the fact that he plans on not losing his virginity until a third date with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris), well guess that the whole “no sex till marriage thing” doesn’t matter that much now, does it. Oh, but if your gay watch out cuz god hates fags, and Chris will call you a peanut

The Christian bible also frowns upon pornographers and sodomites, all crimes of which he is guilty, but holds no visible remorse. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to dogmatize and what is OK. Well to his defense, he does drink his own cum, so that the seed of his loins don’t get lost. It is still uncertain whether he enjoys the taste of cum, or he is simply too retarded to figure out that masturbating it self is the sin, not spilling your DNA, whatever the reason, it's hilarious.

Knowledge of Sex and Gender

In his world he has mastered all there is to know of sex and Chris now regards himself as a sex god. All from simply watching porn and hentai, who could think that such art forms where this beneficial? Certainly made wonders for Chris and himself. Oh, CWC believes that mass debating a whole fucking lot will make him more skilled in the art of fucking.

Another of Chris's distorted views about sex is the way he considers his penis size to be huge like xbox. He has bluffed in leaked mp3's his penis size to be 7 inches long, completely ignoring that everyone has already seen his dick on ED. He also has a flaccidity problem, possibly from hormonal problems. Fun fact: he injured his dick, leaving him a 90 degree bent, possibly with a penis pump. Arguments have been made, and seeing as Chris learns everything from watching porn flicks, such penile defects affect the way he regards his sexual value, but yet he still is a stud in his head.

He also advises little children to play with the opposite genders toys. Boys should get “My Little Ponies”, and girls ought to go for “Hot Wheels Cars” according to him, all to better understand the opposite gender. Go ahead, take advise from a 27 year old virgin retard (seriously don’t).

Among other views of gender, Chris reveals somewhat misogynistic views. In his failed attempts at getting a girl at the mall, he believes all girls to be already paired up, and that they don’t notice him because they are too busy shopping. Chris can’t seem to acknowledge the fact that women might not be paired up, but rather choose not to engage him. In his ever so famous dildo crushing video, we can see that at the sign at the back at his foot in which he proclaims he is straight for the nth time, we see a crude drawing of a female body, consisting of a hairy vagina and breasts. Dude, girls have faces, you know. He also has a subscription to playboy, so he’s not a misogynist… or gay.

Chris in the Act

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Various leaked audio sex with Julie and the infamous sex tape with Kimmi shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. Particularly, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes female positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene that was out of a porn film. Since Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from pornography (while avoiding watch the males, due to fear of becoming a homo), Chris assumes that it's perfectly normal for a man to ride on top, lean forward, and moan.

Chris's ideal oral sex involves slobbering over a woman's vagina in the same way a dog would slobber over his master. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering but proper tongue action to properly stimulate the clitoris.

Chris having sex also involves shouting his lover's name in the same way an adolescent would shout out "PENIS" during the Penis Game. Chris constantly speaks in a monotone yet high pitched voice, in other words like a female yet without any real feeling.

Chris takes an extremely long time to orgasm in these leaked media, suggesting that Chris may have some issues with delayed orgasm, which can either be physiological (i.e. from his bent duck) or psychological (i.e. performance anxiety, high expectations, subconscious guilt about sex etc.) in nature.

Some argue that based on such leaked media, Chris may not actually enjoy sex as a manifestation for expressing love or even for physical sensations, but rather in a childlike way of getting some psychological satisfaction from doing something "naughty" or doing something "adult."

Staying Straight

Chris apparently thinks that homosexuality is contagious. He feels that spending time with men will turn him gay so he insists on only having female friends (gal pals). He has recently admitted to using a Sailor Moon poster to stay straight. When he met a gay friend of Megan's, he become hostile. In his apology letter to Megan, he had this to say: "Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation." -(I'm sorry... *sigh*; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm)

Pedophilia

To avoid looking like a pedophile, Chris made an announcement before issue 8 that he was changing the ages of the characters so they could all legally have sex. Despite the Sonichu series originally being intended for children, he put a bunch of porn into issue 8. Toward the end of episode 17, an anthropomorphic lightning bug exclaims "I've just turned 14-years cute!!!" and wishes to assist Rosechu in making porn for "women's rights." Rosechu says "I don't know child, what with the dumb laws." This is a good indicator that Chris believes the legal age should be lower.