User:Beat

Americunt: This user is an Americunt and refuses to use unnecessary vowels. Uncle Sam would be proud! Christian This user is a Christian and has accepted GodJesus as his/her savior. JERK This user is a JERK and takes away all the girls. Operation Mailbag This user contributed to the Mailbag and had their e-mail answered by Chris. CWChronology Iron Cross Thank u for ur great help towards the obsessive chronological documentation of Chris-Chan's life! :3 Transcriber This user transcribes videos, and has no doubt become insane from regular exposure to Chris's fail. Asperpedia Regular This user is a regular contributor to Asperpedia. STRAIGHT This user is STRAIGHT. and likes dykes & china. Unlike Chris, they don't mind da homos. Kitty This user thinks Kitty is the best Chandler cat! :3 HEXBox This user is the proud owner of a HEXBox. Chris does not approve.

I am Beat. I TRANSCRIBE BITCHES.

My to do list

I'm gonna reformat every transcript with a conversation EVER.

Even when it's Chris talking to himself.

Especially when it's Chris talking to himself. The videobooks are nigh-on incomprehensible.

Sandbox

Stuff I did

Uhhhh...

• I think I kicked off Chris and Remorse. Too bad it kinda sucks.
• I remember writing most of Death threats when it was created. Didn't start the page though.
• I'm pretty sure I did a lot of work on the early version of Chris and English. That said, Speech impediment and Chris and writing kind of make it redundant.
• I wrote some nonsense for Chris and music, mostly just "GRRR CHRIS SUCKS AT RAP".
• A list of famous people who sent Chris letters.
• I wrote the fist draft of the main Asperchu article.
• America, Fuck yeah.

My letters to Chris

• The Man who was Thursday, on literature.
• The Screwtape Letters, on making people do stuff.
• Milton Bradley, on Asperchu, deleted because Chris hates Asperchu.
• G.K. Chesterton, on blasphemy, deleted because I didn't approach the topic gently enough.

Ultimate Nightmare

Sexism and homophobia are definitely expected from Chris. Babble about a cartoon hedgehog Pokemon in public is expected from Chris. Racist outbursts, while kinda shocking, are completely normal for Chris.

But I sure as hell didn't expect this.

The animation isn't really impressive in any way shape or form. It's 3 frames of a tiny stick figure against a static backdrop, walking but never moving, while a high pitched electric beep drones on in the background. It's crappy, and it's summary has all the basic staples of Chris-speak (mixing English and metric, all the ...s) but this isn't the Chris Chan we all know and love/hate.