Christian Weston Chandler
Behold, the mistake of God. Chris-chan (AKA: Sonichu, CWC, Christian Weston Chandler), born February 24, 1982, is a perverse, self-hating gay, overweight, self-proclaimed "high-functioning autistic" virgin man-child, and creator of his own awesomely drawn series of comics starring his brilliant crossover of Pikachu and Sonic.
Chris wears a medallion around his neck in homage to his yellow Sonic recolor, In public. As if that weren't lame enough, Chris-chan actually has three a shit load of medallions: The Blake medallion, and a Rosechu medallion (which he planned on giving to his sweetheart), suggesting that he has far too much free time on his hands. Triple, in fact, the amount originally suspected.
His hobbies include creating My Little Pony figures with his own hair, stalking women at the mall, finding a " Boyfriend-Free girl to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-Up", drawing (and actually uploading) pictures of himself having sex with his only friend, drawing porn of his hedgehogs, and recently, taking naked pictures of himself. It gets far worse, my friends...
Early Life
Not all that much is known about Shotachris, aside from a few birthday photos taken from his slideshow and the "Super Sonic Winner" news report. During this time it seems he mostly played the early Sonic games and played with Sarah Hammer.
Chris managed to win a contest where the winner was chosen at random when he was twelve. The prize was a a thousand dollar shopping spree at some game store. Since then, Chris has attributed video games and Sonic the Hedgehog to win. The evidence is shown via a local televised newscast, which is proof that Chris is not some kind of elaborate troll. It must have a been a really shitty news day to close out the show with a retard winning a video game contest.
In a YouTube video of Chris performing a "poem" about himself, Chris reveals that his Autism was caused by being locked in a room by a babysitter, and that he didn't speak for several years afterwords. Or so he says. The irony behind this statement, he currently locks him self in his room and plays with all kinds of sex toys.
We also know that after that incident he was homeschooled, before being quietly thrown back into the public-school system after his parents got sick of his shit.
School
This period of Chris's life is slightly clearer. His life was spent playing video games at home, reading R.L Stine, hanging out with his "gal-pals" and with his "friend" Joe at school. Chris was also asked to be the water-boy for his high school basketball team during his freshman year.[1]It was at this time that his "creative talents" were put to use, as he invented Bionic The Hedgehog and eventually Sonichu during his high school years.[2] Otherwise, his time at Manchester High was mostly uneventful. He left school with honor roll and the true source of his powers, his high school ring.
He also cried like a little bitch during his graduation because the art award he wanted was given to someone else. Chris thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it SO HARD in spite of his autism.[3] Another reason for his crying was the fact he had to grow up and start acting like an adult.[4] Chris ruined everyone's graduation at Manchester High that day because he's a selfish queef.
Chris's (non)award winning art work
- Autismman.jpg
This should win a prize.
- Clay sonic.jpg
Not creepy.
- Coilpot.jpg
Chris's Like Like.
- Cwcchair.jpg
Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
- Cwcchair2.jpg
Uh...
- Cwcfaceplate.jpg
This plate helps you lose weight. You see CWC when you're done, you puke it all up.
- Cwcplate.jpg
More shitty flatware.
You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
Love Quest
In 2003, Chris got jealous when his friend Sarah Hammer started dating Wes Iseli. This then inspired an issue in his comic featuring the "anchuent prophecy" and some other stuff intended to win over Sarah.
Having failed to win the love of his life, he set out to find a boyfriend-free girl for LOVE and TRUST at any cost. That was seven long years ago...
See Love Quest
Megan
Megan is one of the few girls Chris actually knew IRL, and one whom he put at the forefront of his love quest for quite some time.
See Megan.
Discovery by ED
Chris' rare talent was discovered when he posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on 4-cent garbage. It only took a quick Google of the name to discover the author, and Chris' miserable life was quickly spilled over ED in October, 2007. His life was never the same again.
Chris Today
Chris lives at home with his parents Bob Chandler and Barbara Chandler. He has no job, and instead lives off the $700 he receives from the government (ie. monthly tugboat). He spends his days playing video games, drawing childish comics, harrassing women online, and making statesman-like YouTube videos for the true Sonichu and Rosechu fanbase (ie. no-one).
Religious Views
Chris is a Christian, but has an interesting take on the whole Christianity thing - one not shared by many other Christians.
Chris on Sex
See Chris and sex
Chris and the Law
References
- ↑ Yep: I'm on TV. :) http://cogsdev.110mb.com/dvd/99.jpg
- ↑ Sonichu #7 pg. 22 http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic8P12.htm
- ↑ Yep: I'm on TV. :) http://cogsdev.110mb.com/dvd/169.jpg
- ↑ Yep, I'm on TV. :) http://cogsdev.110mb.com/dvd/170.jpg
|
This article, like Chris's pickle, is a bit small. You can help CWCki by expanding it. |