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One of Asperchu's best friends. He is always a True, Caring friend who only ever looks out for his joy-boys. He is composed of 80% memory foam and is capable of absorbing the properties and attacks of other people by temporarily ingesting them. | One of Asperchu's best friends. He is always a True, Caring friend who only ever looks out for his joy-boys. He is composed of 80% memory foam and is capable of absorbing the properties and attacks of other people by temporarily ingesting them. | ||
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===Jivin Pickles=== | ===Jivin Pickles=== | ||
Revision as of 16:35, 24 January 2010
This article is about Asperchu, a very well thought out webcomic.
For Chris's views and such and all that, see Asperchu.
| “ | I think Asperchu is a pretty nice guy. He faces his fear of rejection, tries his best to be tactful and humble, and he just wants somebody to love.
Oh dear god, you made a sympathetic bizzaro Chris. |
” |
| An anon on /cwc/, summarizing what makes Asperchu so unique. | ||
| “ | I detest "Asperchu", because one, it is a Parody of a Sonichu with aspergers, which with the condition, I have no care for. And two, it is just lousy; if aspergers is really like autism, then the creator really knows nothing about Autism. | ” |
| Chris on Asperchu, Mailbag 24 | ||
Asperchu is a parody of Sonichu detailing the zany misadventures of Asperchu, the electric hedgehog Pokemon with high functioning autism Asperger syndrome. It can be read here, its homepage is here and the /cwc/ thread can be found here. The creator of this delightful series sometimes forgets to upload a page or two in chronological order, but this is due to his Asperger's Syndrome affecting his memory.
Notably, it has a brief mention on CWCipedia in Chris's list of Sonichu parodies.
Protagonists
Asperchu
One day, Sonichu wandered into a stall the bathroom at the Minneapolis International Airport. While tapping his foot underneath the wall of the stall next to him, he accidentally brushed his foot against that of a man who had Aspergers Syndrome; the resulting union birthed the lovable hero we all know today.
Asperchu lives in Minnesota with his grandparents, Grandma Snorlax and Grandpa Alzheichu; his father went out to get a case of beer and promised to be right back, although this was some time in late 2003 and he hasn't been seen since. When not working hard on Youtube videos, he prefers to relax by playing video games on his Xbox 360 or hanging out with his joy-boys at the mall food court. He attends Normandale Community College with his two best joy-boys, Max and Jivin.
He is currently on a Love Quest to obtain a gal-pal who he can build into a sweetheart from the ground up. His standards for a gal-pal are not terribly stringent, although he will not abide gingers or tolerate those who do. He eventually met and fell in love with Dixie Chu, beginning his Dix Quest to win her heart.
Asperchu is a high-functioning electric/aspergers hedgehog pokemon. He has no electric-type attacks; however, his aspergers-type attacks do double damage against autistic-type pokemon. His strongest attack is the Asperhameha, which hits his target with a blast of furious energy and can leave them confused and prone to developing mental blocks of their own.
- Asperchu is, of course, based on Christian Weston Chandler; his overweight appearance and clothing precisely emulate Chris's, and Asperchu's goatee is from Chris's Rollin' and Trollin' phase. Asperchu's mannerisms are also directly copied from Chris, especially the ego, narcissism, self-entitlement, and fixation on the Love Quest. Also, Asperchu's saga parallels Chris's descent into madness, with early issues focusing on Asperchu's fairly-innocent Love Quest, and later issues showing him to be just as big a prick as Chris has become.
Sonichu
The brother, father (technically, one of two fathers), hetero-life mate, and STRAIGHT joy-boy of Asperchu, with whom he is engaged in an everlasting, STRAIGHT bromance.
Sonichu shows up from time to time to assist Asperchu in his adventures and in defeating the villainous forces of the Troll Lords. Even if there aren't any villains to fight or adventures to be had, however, Sonichu and Asperchu just can't stand to be apart for long, so occasionally they will meet up for a late night snuggling rendezvous. He is currently running for the office of District Attorney of the state of Virginia, on a vigorous platform of promoting both gay rights and recognition of Aspergers Syndrome as a component of the Autism Spectrum.
Max
One of Asperchu's best friends. He is always a True, Caring friend who only ever looks out for his joy-boys. He is composed of 80% memory foam and is capable of absorbing the properties and attacks of other people by temporarily ingesting them.
Jivin Pickles
The son of a prominent cucumber farmer, Jivin is Asperchu's black best friend who is black. He is keen to assist Asperchu in his Love Quest, although some speculate it is merely an excuse for him to pursue his own personal Fuck Quest, as his attitude toward gal-pals, while enthusiastic, appears less than wholesome at times. Instead of Christmas, Jivin celebrates Kwanzaa. Asperchu has suggested that he possibly does not realize Jivin is black. The Pickles family are the guardians of one of the seven Chaos Pickles.
Villainous trolls
Sinestro
As the apparent leader of the trolls, Sinestro has attempted to create numerous clones of Asperchu in order to find the seven Chaos Pickles, including Metal Asperchu and Noir Chu. Lisa and Dino Dash have been at his command from the very beginning, and he has convinced John to join him as well.
Lisa
A girl who attends Normandale Community College, Asperchu took a fancy to her, and worked up the courage to ask her on a date for some fine dining and pleasant conversation at the local Burger King; she agreed. However, her plan all along was to steal his Asperchu Medallion and lower his Heart Level. Although Asperchu later defeated her in battle, she still succeeded in both goals. She appears to be in the employ of Sinestro, to whom she delivered the Medallion.
- Lisa most closely resembles Chris's ex-sweetheart Blanca. As with Lisa, Blanca pretended to be interested in Chris in order to steal his medallion.
Radar
GJ-Radar, known as John to people who aren't Asperchu. A Born-Again Baptist from rural Texas, he and his fiance Kendra traveled to Minnesota after becoming aware of Asperchu's Youtube rants, which they deemed sacrilegious and sinful. John confronted Asperchu and demanded he overcome his hypocrisy; Asperchu responded by challenging him to a Youtube Godstar Challenge to prove who the real Christian was. John was declared to be the one true Christian, while Asperchu was declared a fraud. Asperchu subsequently stole John's own crucifix necklace and used it to power his Jesus-hameha attack, which hit and injured Kendra when she intervened. Sinestro approached John, offering to heal Kendra in return for his services.
- Based off the Singstar Challenge of the Liquid Saga. John and Kendra most likely represent Liquid and Kacey
Dino Dash
Dino Dash kidnapped Jonas Chu in order to impersonate him at the Guitar Hero championship and abduct Dixie Chu as part of Sinestro's plan to obtain the seven Chaos Pickles. He is the strongest and most cunning of Sinestro's pawns.
- Dino Dash is based on Clyde Cash
Count Plot Cohesuon
Count Plot Cohesuon is the mysterious force that may be behind Sinestro's search for the Chaos Pickles. He is not fond of deus ex machina.
- Count Plot Cohesuon is a parody of Count Graduon from the original Sonichu comic.
Metal Asperchu
Metal Asperchu was to be Sinestro's ultimate tool in finding the seven Chaos Pickles, but refused to follow his orders and proceeded to seek the Chaos Pickles on his own. Metal attacked Simonchu and stole his medallion to guide his quest, then brutally murdered three of the five members of the Chaotic Combo.
- Based off Metal Sonichu who is based off Metal Sonic.
Noir Chu and Aspercream
Noir Chu was Sinestro's newest attempt to clone Asperchu by adding a black man into the mix. However, DeShaun's girlfriend jumped into the mixture with him and was turned into the rabbit Aspercream.
- Noir Chu is based on Blake.
Ian Brandon Anderson
Ian believes himself to be the TRUE and ORIGINAL Christian Weston Chandler, but is instead a fat, insane man-child. Ian rules CWCville through a totalitarian regime, although the CWCville Liberation Front constantly fights against his evil oppression. He forced women in middle school and older into prostitution as a form of sexual education.
If he doesn't get his way, he uses his Transformers gun to silence anyone who questions his delusions. Ian attempted to murder Christian to prove that he was the real Chris Chan and also attempted to murder the "parodic" Sonichus before being set on fire by Metal Asperchu. He hasn't been seen since.
- Ian Brandon Anderson is a version of Chris based on the Liquid Chris saga. Ian's appearance is a direct parody of Chris's.
Supporting characters
Dixie Chu
The girl of Asperchu's dreams. Dixie been dating Jonas Chu and is disgusted by Asperchu, but that fact hasn't kept Asperchu from pursuing her. Asperchu has dedicated his life to obtaining "Dix" as his sweetheart.
Jonas Chu
Asperchu's rival for the heart of Dixie Chu. Asperchu first met Jonas Chu at the Brass Dragon, where, in preparation for the Guitar Hero championship, they competed for the right to be Dixie Chu's boyfriend. Jonas beat Asperchu, but only by "cheating" by playing on Hard mode, which Asperchu had not yet mastered. Jonas was then kidnapped so that Dino Dash could replace him in the tournament and abduct Dixie.
He escaped over a week later by chewing through his handcuffs. Jonas followed Max and Jivin to Sinestro's castle, where he was reunited with his love.
- May have been based off the events from CWC More Than A Feeling of the Liquid Saga.
The Chaotic Combo
Wild Sonichu is the leader of the Chaotic Combo and Simonchu's gay lover. Despises Asperchu's desire to win back Dixie Chu.
Angelica Rosechu uses her wings and her faith in GodJesus to help her fight the forces of evil.
Punchy Sonichu is the master of the "anshuent Chinaman martial arts." He has a very noticeable accent due to his ethnicity.
Bubbles Rosechu is the entirely useless member who just hangs out with the group.
Magi-Chan Sonichu uses his psychic powers to aid the Chaotic Combo. Magi-Chan is able to locate any person by going into a five-and-a-half hour trance. He also likes to go on long walks in the park and Mass debate to videos of Simonchu and Wild's Honeymoon tapes.
Wild, Angelica and Punchy were all brutally murdered by Metal Asperchu.
Simonchu
Although Simonchu stars in his own comic series, he appears in Asperchu as the bisexual lover of Wild Sonichu. Metal Asperchu attacked Simonchu and stole his medallion.
Christian Weston Chandler
Sonichu's father and creator. Christian is the hero of CWCville, always willing to risk his life and do what is necessary for the greater good. After assisting Asperchu's assault on Sinestro's castle, Christian left to pursue Ian Brandon Anderson.
- Christian Chandler is based on Liquid Chris.
Alzheichu
Asperchu's grandfather, an old-fashioned Sonichu who spends most of his time sitting in his armchair and watching television. He also likes to make Asperchu do stressful chores around the house. Alzheichu is married to Snorlax.
- Alzheichu is based on Robert Chandler.
Snorlax
Asperchu's grandmother. Spends all of her time sleeping in the backyard. Snorlax is married to Alzheichu.
- Snorlax is the nickname given to Barbara Chandler.
Asperia Chu
The future daughter of Asperchu, as foretold by GodJesus in a dream. Asperia Chu is definitely not a ginger.
- Asperia Chu is based on Crystal Chandler. As with Crystal, her name is a feminine version of her "father's".
Larry D. Waltz
Larry D. Waltz is the dean of Normandale Community College. He supplies Sinestro with an African-American in exchange for a mysterious disc.
- Larry is based on Mary Lee Walsh.
Locations
Alzheichu's Home
This is where Asperchu lives. A junky, decrepit home, Alzheichu makes Asperchu do menial, yet, back breaking chores. Asperchu's room is a particular mess, covered with various toys and anime posters. It also has an XBox 360, which Asperchu constantly plays, especially after his encounter with Dixie Chu.
- This is a parody of Chris's house.
Brass Dragon
A gaming store which Asperchu frequents. This is where Asperchu encounters Dixie Chu and Jonas Chu and attempts to win Dixie's heart.
- This is a parody of The GAMe PLACe.
Jivin's Home
Where Jivin' lives. Was where one of the seven Chaos Pickles was located before Metal Asperchu broke in and stole it. Oddly, it has a collection of skeletons.
Plot synopsis
In Issue 0, Asperchu is convinced by his friends Max and Jivin to ask Lisa on a date to the Burger King. Lisa, however, sends red-headed hambeast Heaven in her place. Asperchu doesn't notice the difference until she attempts to grab his Medallion and her wig falls off. Lisa, who had been videotaping the scene for a YouTube video, races in and snatches the Medallion and runs away. With the help of Sonichu, Asperchu tracks her down and defeats her with an Asperhameha attack; however, he is unable to retrieve his stolen Medallion. Lisa uploads the video of Asperchu's date onto YouTube, prompting Asperchu to retaliate with his own video.
The plot continues in Issue 0A when John sees Asperchu's video on YouTube. He is appalled at Asperchu's un-Christian attitude and travels with his fiance Kendra to Minnesota to confront him in person. When they meet face-to-face, Asperchu is shocked to see that John has his own medallion (a crucifix) and runs off to create a replacement. He posts a YouTube video claiming his original Medallion was never lost; Lisa sees the video and joins John in his attempt to defeat Asperchu, who calls for a contest to see who the True and Honest Christian is. In the end, John is declared the winner, causing Asperchu to confront him. He steals John's crucifix and uses it to power a Jesushameha attack against him; Kendra, however, saves John and takes the full force of the blast herself, collapsing into a coma. This infuriates John, who punches Asperchu in the face, causing him to cry. John picks up Kendra and leaves, but he soon encounters Sinestro in the forest, who promises to heal Kendra if he works for him.
Issue 0B begins with Asperchu practicing for the upcoming Guitar Hero contest. While at the Brass Dragon game store, he meets Dixie Chu and instantly falls in love with her. However, Dixie is already dating Jonas Chu, so Asperchu challenges Jonas to a game of Guitar Hero to see who deserves to be Dixie's sweetheart. Jonas easily beats Asperchu and leaves with Dixie, unknowingly being followed by a mysterious figure that kidnaps Jonas when the two separate. Meanwhile, Asperchu, convinced that Jonas cheated, uses Crayola markers to disguise himself as Jonas and creates a video admitting he cheated. Dixie sees the video and learns that Jonas was kidnapped. She goes to the Guitar Hero contest to confront him, only to find yet another person disguised as Jonas. This second impostor abducts her and flies away with Dixie in his arms. She manages to break free and is caught by Sonichu as she falls to the ground. Asperchu catches up and learns that Dino Dash was behind the ordeal. Dino easily defeats the two joy-boys and takes Dixie to Sinestro's castle.
Asperchu begins Issue C training to fight Dino and doing chores for his grandfather, when he is attacked by Sinestro in an aircraft. Sinestro is able to destroy Asperchu's new Medallion, and takes Asperchu back to his castle. Meanwhile, Max and Jivin are approached by a fat man claiming to be none other than Christian Weston Chandler himself, who promises to help save Asperchu. Jonas, who finally was able to free himself, follows the trio to Sinestro's castle, where Asperchu is being assaulted by Sinestro's trolls, bringing his Heart Level to 0%. He is saved by another, more badass Christian. As the two explore the castle, they find a room containing many failed Asperchu clones. It is here that Max, Jivin, Sonichu, and the other Chris finally find them, and the fat Chris is revealed to be Ian Brandon Anderson. Sinestro stops time and explains his goal of finding the seven Chaos Pickles using an Asperchu clone. He uses Asperchu's Medallion to activate Metal Asperchu. Time resumes and Ian, confused by the presence of three Asperchu's attempts to shoot the "unholy parodies," prompting Metal Asperchu to set him on fire. Sinestro tells Metal Asperchu to kill the others, but Metal refuses and leaves to find the Chaos Pickles on his own. Jonas reunites with Dixie and Christian bids the friends farewell as he continues his quest to stop the evil Ian.
In Issue 1, Metal Asperchu attacks Simonchu in the forest and steals his medallion to help him find the Chaos Pickles. Asperchu meets Sonichu at the mall and is introduced to Angelica, Punchy and Bubbles of the Chaotic Combo. They join gay lovers Wild and Simonchu at their headquarters, and the Chaotic Combo decides to find and destroy Metal Asperchu. They plan to use Magi-Chan's powers to locate Metal Asperchu, but Asperchu interrupts and makes Magi-Chan search for Dixie Chu instead. They soon hear from Max that Metal had attacked Jivin's farm and stolen the Chaos Pickle his family had sworn to protect. Wild, Punchy and Angelica pursue Metal Asperchu and catch up to him, engaging in combat. Magi-Chan senses the three are in danger. He and Simonchu go to help them, but arrive to find them savagely torn apart at the hands of Metal Asperchu. Meanwhile, Sinestro decides to make one more Asperchu clone, using a black student from Normandale Community College as the secret ingredient this time. As the student falls into the vat, his girlfriend jumps in to try and save them, but it's too late; he becomes Noir Chu, while she becomes a rabbit called Aspercream. Confused by memories of Asperchu, Noir Chu leaves to find Asperchu's fat ass and find some answers. And as all of this is happening, Jivin gets a make over by the fabulous Mitch Chu.
