Kaka Makeup Basics

Virginia tomgirls, we're unforgettable
DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS, muscle bra on top
Sun-deprived skin, so hot
We'll burst your pickle
Oh-oh-oh-oh!
Virginia tomgirls, we're undeniable
Fat, fat, fat, and one bent duck
East Coast represent
Now put your hands up
Oh-oh-oh-oh!

Kaka Makeup Basics is a video released by Chris on 16 August 2011. Here, we see Chris putting on makeup, reinforcing his status as a tomgirl. Chris applies the makeup extremely inexpertly, completely caking himself in it, akin to a two-year-old who has just discovered mommy's make-up kit, proving again that Chris cannot even do something he wants to right. As well, it's revealed that he uses make-up from Sephora, a very expensive cosmetics store, though we know how he got that.

Video

Kaka Makeup Basics
Click to load content
Search for video	YouTube, archive
Stardate	16 August 2011
Subject Matter	Homos Homos
Performance Style	Reason, Crazy
Saga	Tomgirl Tomgirl
Shirt	Blue Tomgirl Blue Tomgirl
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos
previous Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada	next Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya

“

Tell 'em, uh, Kaka sent ya.

”

Transcript

[Background music: Katy Perry - "California Gurls"]

'Ello. Now it's time for make-up tips. First... I like to start, by putting on some of the ol' foundation. My-I go with my own skin tone which was recommended to me by the person-by the woman who served me over at the ah make-up parlor known as Sephora. So yeah, take the, ah, little brush here and, uh... [Stirs brush around the way one stirs gummy oatmeal.] ... just take some here and- [Starts to put make-up on.] and start to put it on a majority of my face. [There's a moment of Chris putting his make-up on his eyelids. They twitch reflexively, clearly not used to having foundation put on them.] There. [Continues putting make-up on roughly, the same way one would paint a house.]. Pardon me while I [looks at camera dramatically] powder my nose. Definitely kills the shine. And you don't want a reflective nose. Make sure you cover your blemishes as well if you see any in the mirror... on your compact. [Phone rings] I should have turned that off, I didn't think. And let me just-[sigh] fix that. Yeah. Make sure to blow the excess [pause] make up away after you have completed that.

[Mumbles] Apply some mascara. [Blows on mascara and applies it, constantly blinking on every alternate stroke.] Angling the brush and moving upwards, keeping an eye on the mirror. You definitely want to make your eyelashes more fuller, especially when they look- don't look so full in the first place. Another good idea is to just close your eyelid and onto-onto the brushhh. I mainly like to focus on the upper eyelashes cause the lower ones are more difficult to... do really, at least for me.

And then I like to ah apply the ol' eye shadow but first I have to apply some primer onto the- onto my eyelids. [Applies a liberal amount of primer as though it were toothpaste.] Like so. And right now I just gotta focus on, uh, one-- [almost drops the eye shadow] shade of eye shadow to go onto my eyelids for this time. To-ah-to get yourself ed-y-get yours- you can learn more about [burps under his breath] how to apply multiple shades to give your eyes a, ah, possibly more better look. Your eyelids. [Applies blue eyeshadow liberally.] If you want more information on applying makeup, def'nitely go to yer, local make-up salon or Sephora. Or I guess, uh, yeah, most anywhere else that sells make-up.

And uh, optionally you can use eye liner, obviously I should have done that before I applied eye shadow. It goes along de, uh, edge of the eyelid. That's where it's concentrated at.

And lastly, I like to apply some-apply some lipstick. This is a no brainer. [Mumbles, applies lipstick liberally, and blows a kiss at the camera.] And to give you a little shine, I, uh, just apply some lip glossss. [Applies the lipgloss, then smacks his lips.] And that's a simple-that's pretty much a basic way on, uhf- of applying make-up. [Gives a stare, attempting to look flirty but coming off as disturbing.] Tell 'em, uh, [gives a shifty glance off-camera] Kaka sent ya.

⇐ Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada

Chris's videos

Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya ⇒