Rocky Shoemaker

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Rocky Shoemaker.

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Ivy vs. The Methodist Church. Coming to a theater near you. Tom Hanks plays Ivy.

Rocky Shoemaker (Rochelle Shoemaker) is a pastoral counsellor (actual title - Assistant Pastor for Care Ministries) at the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church, who advised Chris on several matters, going as far back as the Miyamoto Saga. Used to work in the Community of Faith United Methodist Church, where she garnered high praise and comparisons with Rocky Balboa. In the year of Our Lord 2009, brought about the end of the Ivy Era, by pushing Chris to go to the police about Ivy.

This wasn't the first time she wanted to call the cops, either - Julie and PandaHalo have both incurred her wrath in the past.

The last straw came in the form of Joshua Martinez, aka Vanessa Hudgens, who tried to swindle some money out of Chris by trading him a PSP. After that, Shoemaker made Bob Chandler and Barb contact the cops who tried to find Ivy and even managed to get a background check on her and came up with nothing.

The Ultimate White Knight?

Rocky Shoemaker might be the only person in the world who is genuinely concerned about Christian's well-being. Judging by her approval of the Love Quest and the Fuck Quest, it can be inferred that she supports Christian's desire for china.

Despite saving him from the wiles of Joshua Martinez and Clyde Cash, it seems as though Rocky is ineffective at making an impact in Christian's life where it really matters - namely his bigotry, self-centeredness, total disregard for others, gluttony, and rage.

Chris insists that Rocky is a better counselor than a professional psychologist, and seems to accept uncritically whatever she says.

Contact Info

PRO TIP: If you try to contact Rocky, she probably won't listen to you as she gets all sorts of shit from trolls, but if you insist:

Rochelle Shoemaker
315 Ivy Vista Dr.
Charlottesville, VA 22903
(434) 244-2898