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| | [[Image:shoemaker.jpg|thumb|200px|Rocky Shoemaker.]] |
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| | [[Rocky Shoemaker]] ('''Rochelle Shoemaker''') is a pastoral counselor (actual title - "Assistant Pastor for Care Ministries") at the [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]], who advised [[Chris]] on several matters, going as far back as the [[Miyamoto Saga]]. |
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| | ==Biography== |
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| | [[Image:ivyjesus.jpg|thumb|left|''[[Ivy]] vs. The Methodist Church''. Coming to a theater near you]] |
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| | Rocky used to work in the [http://www.cof-umc.org/index.html Community of Faith United Methodist Church], where she garnered high praise and [http://cof-umc.org/blog/?p=3 comparisons with Rocky Balboa]. In the year of Our Lord 2009, brought about the end of the [[Ivy]] Era, by pushing Chris to go to the police about Ivy. |
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| | This wasn't the first time she wanted to call the cops, either - [[Julie]] and [[PandaHalo]] have both incurred her wrath in the past. |
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| | The last straw came in the form of [[Joshua Martinez]], aka [[Vanessa Hudgens]], who tried to swindle some money out of Chris by trading him a PSP. After that, Shoemaker made [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Barb]] contact the cops who tried to find Ivy and even managed to get a background check on her and came up with nothing. |
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| | In a recent [[IRC (23 July 2009)|IRC Chat]] Chris, under the belief the the trolls did not know who he was, suggested that the trolls force him to [[Chris and sex|rape]] Rocky. |
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| | ==The ultimate white knight?== |
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| | Rocky Shoemaker might be the only person in the world who is genuinely concerned about Christian's well-being. Judging by her approval of the [[Love Quest]] and the [[Fuck Quest]], it can be inferred that she supports Christian's desire for [[china]]. |
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| | Despite saving him from the wiles of [[Joshua Martinez]] and [[Clyde Cash]], it seems as though Rocky is ineffective at making an impact in Christian's life where it really matters - namely his bigotry, self-centeredness, total disregard for others, gluttony, and rage. |
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| | Chris insists that Rocky is a better counselor than a professional psychologist, and seems to accept uncritically whatever she says. |
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| | ==Contact info== |
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| | ''PRO TIP:'' If you try to contact Rocky, she probably won't listen to you as she gets all sorts of shit from trolls, but if you insist: |
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| | Rochelle Shoemaker <br> |
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| | 315 Ivy Vista Dr. <br> |
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| | Charlottesville, VA 22903<br> |
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| | (434) 244-2898 |
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| | Email: revrocky48@gmail.com |
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| | ==See also== |
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| | *[[Chris and religion]] |
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| | *[[Chris and sex]] |
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| | [[Category:People]] |
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