User:Beat

Americunt: This user is an Americunt and refuses to use unnecessary vowels. Uncle Sam would be proud!

Christian This user is a Christian and has accepted GodJesus as his/her savior.

Operation Mailbag This user contributed to the Mailbag and had their e-mail answered by Chris.

CWChronology Iron Cross Thank u for ur great help towards the obsessive chronological documentation of Chris-Chan's life! :3

Transcriber This user transcribes videos, and has no doubt become insane from regular exposure to Chris's fail.

Asperpedia Regular This user is a regular contributor to Asperpedia.

STRAIGHT This user is STRAIGHT. The men like dykes and china while the women like pickles & balls. Unlike Chris, they don't mind da homos.

I'm Beat! I transcribe things and upload cool pictures people draw on /CWC/. It makes me smile when I see famous quotes and bible verses applied to Chris.

My to do list

DRINK.

Sandbox

Stuff I did

Uhhhh...

• I think I kicked off Chris and Remorse. Too bad it kinda sucks.
• I remember writing most of Death threats when it was created. Didn't start the page though.
• I'm pretty sure I did a lot of work on the early version of Chris and English. That said, Speech impediment and Chris and writing kind of make it redundant.
• I wrote some nonsense for Chris and music, mostly just "GRRR CHRIS SUCKS AT RAP".
• A list of famous people who sent Chris letters.
• I wrote the fist draft of the main Asperchu article.

My letters to Chris

• The Man who was Thursday, on literature.
• The Screwtape Letters, on making people do stuff.
• Milton Bradley, on Asperchu, deleted because Chris hates Asperchu.
• G.K. Chesterton, on blasphemy, deleted because I didn't approach the topic gently enough.

CWCipedia Contributions

Commentary on issue zero and issue two. Some other dude did issue one, and he did a fucking fantastic job.

I'm gonna babble about TVTropes here or something

So Chris actually has a pretty big following on TVtropes. Their page on Sonichu links to us all over the place, which means their information is generally as accurate as ours is.

He's actually started infecting other pages of their wiki as well. I was reading about this fantasy novel series one of my friends told me about, and it described one of the Characters as "hates his virginity on Chris-chan levels." It didn't even link back to the Sonichu page. Somebody put that in there under the assumption that if you were on TVtropes, you knew at least the basics of Chris's existence, that he's a virgin and he's not happy about it. No frame of reference required.

While I doubt that everybody who browses the site is as well versed in his life and antics as we are, that sort of universal recognition is pretty impressive.

8 May 2010

So it's not often when a Chris Chan video shocks me. I've transcribed a lot of his shit, and I generally know what to expect. He'll bumble and stutter for a bit before saying something stupid, hilarious or disturbing. I've transcribed him wearing war paint, trying to convince a girl that he loves her, and miming oral sex. It takes a lot to surprise me.

8 May 2010 pulled it off though.

I think it was the sudden change of tone. I went into the video expecting to hear a lonely virgin who's upset and frustrated at being surrounded by people who aren't lonely virgins. That's actually pretty understandable. Socially awkward and introverted people exist all over the world, and it's pretty common for them to be a little bitter about the difficulty they have socializing. Pretty much any nerd on the internet can get that part. We even empathize with him a little bit.

But then Chris turns up the crazy, spewing some paranoid theory about How certain people paid off the real estate company to not sell his current house, keeping him away from the people he knew in high school. Goes on to claim that Michale Snyder is a part of this giant anti-him conspiracy. At this point any semblance of empathy I have for the man is gone, and I'm left scratching my head trying to figure out what the fuck just happened. Every time I see a trace of normal humanity in the man, it's suddenly ripped away to reveal something sinister or insane.