Kellie Andes
| “ | I REALLY missed out on that when I could have had the chance to take it. | ” |
| Chris, totally deluded[1] | ||
Kellie Lyn Andes (married name: Kellie Lyn Andes Stowel) was Chris's crush in high school that he met in sophomore year. They lost contact in mid-2001.[2] Today, Chris thinks he had a chance with her but blew it due to naïveté.[3] For whatever reason, Chris now considers her to be his High School Sweetheart, despite the fact that the term is usually reserved for people that are dating, and not for retarded man-children and the patient women that tolerate them.
Kellie is living proof of how sad Chris's life really is. In a sad, vain attempt to remind himself of how his life used to be, Chris has remained largely unchanged since high school (when he had the most female friends he'll ever have), while Kellie has actually moved on and gotten herself a job, husband and two children.
In the comic
Kellie appears in the last page of Episode 15 of the comic as someone who discovers Chris's nudes. In Episode 17, Rosechu mentions Kellie as the one who informed her about 4-cent_garbage. In reality, Chris admits that he only gave Kellie the honor of discovering the ED page in the comic.[4] It's highly unlikely she did in real life.
Some argue that she is also the inspiration for Kel's name. In Sonichu 10 Kel is actually referred to as "Kellie"; while it's still possible they're not meant to be the same person (especially considering the appearance of "real" Kellie in episode 15), the spelling at least reinforces the idea that Kel is meant to be some version of Kellie. The fact that Kel is in love with Reldnahc (who is essentially a Freudian version of Chris) shows some more of his inability to get over women.
Kellie on Chris
In recent correspondence Kellie confirmed that Chris is definitely not her type.
| “ | I never liked Christian in that way. Christian is def. not my type nor has he ever been. | ” |
| Kellie, laying it down | ||
Considering she married a handsome straight guy who has good social skills, a deep voice, a muscular physique, and a job where he saves lives instead of mooching off welfare... then she isn't kidding. He also happens to be a niggo, but that has nothing to do with it.
Currently
Kellie is currently living as Kellie Andes Stowell in Richmond, Virginia, where she works as a firefighter alongside her husband. She is also the mother of a two-year-old boy and a newborn girl.[5] One can hope that she is able to sleep easy without Chris's figure haunting her dreams.
Gallery
<gallery> Image:0312-KellieAndes97.jpg|Kellie, 1997. Image:0313-KellieAndes98.jpg|Kellie, 1998. Image:0314-KellieAndes99.jpg|Kellie, 1999 Image:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|Kellie, 2000.
