Michael Hirtes
- "Totem Sanic" redirects here. For the Relic of Fail, see Sonic Totem.
| “ | Everyone has an animal inside them struggling to be free. Don't be afraid to let him out! Yiff! | ” |
| Hirtes to a newspaper reporter | ||
| Michael Hirtes | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Information | |
| Name | Michael Jay Hirtes |
| Also known as | mhirtes Totem Sanic Various others |
| Gender | Male |
| Nationality | American |
| Race | White |
| Occupations | A-Log Ween |
Michael Jay Hirtes is a fifty-three-year-old man from Council Bluffs, Iowa who has made a name for himself as both an A-Log and a ween. Hirtes, also known as Kiwi Farms member Totem Sanic, has created a multitude of Twitter accounts to follow Chris and spam him, as well as anyone he tweets to, with angry rants and accusations against him. Most of his rants against Chris consist of trite Chris memes and ad hominem attacks. Unlike the vast majority of A-Logs, including LoGatto himself, Hirtes's socks have actually been responded to by Chris, albeit rarely.
Hirtes was first discovered as a halal member of the Kiwi Farms forum, where he was outed as the operator of the Twitter account @RektByLife (since deleted), perhaps the most dedicated ween account following Chris at the time. Subsequent developments revealed that not only was Hirtes both older and more immature than Chris, he, too, was unemployed, a furry, prone to tard rage, and has gotten into trouble with the law.[1]
Discovery
Twitter sockpuppets
On Twitter, both before and after he was discovered by the Kiwi Farms, Hirtes has used numerous sockpuppet accounts to reply to Chris's tweets. Most of these are incoherent ramblings punctuated with capitalized words, chastising Chris for behavior that he, too, has been shown to have exhibited. When he is not ranting at Chris, Hirtes is often found angrily tweeting at Donald Trump.
Below is a non-exhaustive list of Hirtes's socks:
Rektbylife {Dathingsiveseen} (http://archive.is/UGc5O) Created: Somewhere before 9/16/2016
S_kank_Hunt42 {SkankHuntFortyTwo} (http://archive.is/LJE65) Created: 11/15/2016
Get_a_job_Chris {Chris is A MALE} (http://archive.is/zoPL8) Created: 3/29/2017
GamestopJerkop {Clyde Cash} (http://archive.is/VlMLL) Created: 4/14/2017
Ghost_bob_BoOoO {Ghost Bob} (http://archive.is/hYjEH) Created: 4/18/2017
shecameforcwc {shecameforCWC} (http://archive.is/UnkI8) Created: 4/21/2017
JULAYYYYYYYYYYY {Eviction Notice} (http://archive.is/1bwxB) Created: 4/21/2017
Nut_ward_nurse {Pickle Man} (http://archive.is/ERdku) Created: 4/21/2017
CWC_Is_Ugly {Lord_Hater} (http://archive.is/SYIfG) Created: 4/29/2017
LiquidClyde {Clyde Cash} Created: (http://archive.is/7WUPF) 5/1/2017
CWCSonichu82 {Christine Chandler} (http://archive.is/r4c7c) Created: 5/2/2017
BRRAAAAINSSSSSS {Zombie_Bob} (http://archive.is/ozhEQ) Created: 5/17/2017
CHRIS_IS_MALE {Reality} (http://archive.is/f0DmW) Created: 5/24/2017
TROLLING_SUPER {TROLLING SUPER} (http://archive.is/rAymo) Created: 6/4/2017
Brute_male_CWC {CWCs_Cumsicles} (http://archive.is/5wMLS) Created: 6/5/2017
CWC_IS_A_PEDO {Left_Side_Hater} (http://archive.is/n42Mz) Created: 6/12/2017
FUKK_U_CHRIS {CWC_IS_MALE} (http://archive.is/sLHaI) Created: 6/13/2017
EAT_SHITT_CHRIS {GIGANTIC STRAW} (https://archive.is/wcTIw) Created: 6/13/2017
CWC_IS_MALE {CHRIS_IS_A_FAT_MALE} (http://archive.is/zmQb3) Created: 6/24/2017
STINKO_MANBABY {CHRIS_CANT_STOP_ME} (http://archive.is/R2SJd) Created: 6/27/2017
PICKLE_RIIIIIICK {PICKLE_RICK} (https://archive.fo/Pg0kA) Created: 7/15/2017
FLIPPINGUDABIRD {BIRD_IS_THE_WORD} (http://archive.is/e7MsQ) Created: 7/19/2017
DangDirtyTroll {ItsDahKrumpas} ( http://archive.is/nowIs) Created: 7/19/2017
YYAH_YYAH_YYAH {Dr_Hans_Asperger} (http://archive.is/ZJp71) Created: 7/20/2017
Nannas_4_Barb {FOR_THE_HOARD} (http://archive.is/5ctIf) Created: 8/2/2017
Bluearmsohno {MUGSHOT} (http://archive.is/AOMaH) Created: 8/4/2017
Hateisweakness5 {Minako Aino} (http://archive.is/BU8yw) Created: 8/4/2017
PICKLE_LICKER {DISASTERCHU} ( http://archive.is/AerS1) Created: 8/5/2017
He_Wont_Get_Any {CHRIS_WANTS_LUV} (http://archive.is/eQInS) Created 8/5/2017